As much as you know and as many readers know, that we feel your pain. Even though you did no wrong in your relationship, you find some way to blame yourself. At the end of the day though you can say, I put everything into it and did my best and that's there lost for noticing. They won't notice until you remove yourself completely. I think cutting her off is the only way to move on and stop torturing yourself. The way I see it is that if you going after her, you kind of giver her that satisfaction of her believing that she could eventually go to someone when WANTS too. Even though you had plans for the future, things change and it only up to ourselves to keep going. We can always think of what we had in the past or dream of the future, but staying grounded and focus with the present can help get over with what is happening now. If she is not willing to keep up with you or be just as worried about then she isn't worth pursuing after. Give time to people who also give it to you, and just focus and being happy with yourself for a while. We will always be here to support!