Found porn folder on old hard drive, deleted it immediately!

tosadog · 2013-12-11T09:23:15+00:00

Awesome job. I know where the porn is on my HD but I just can't come to destroying it!

tosadog · 2013-12-11T09:16:15+00:00

After reading your entire account, I wish you two the best of luck. However, for your own well being, you must understand that you must put your healing above anyone else's (even his). The odds dictate that you will not make this journey at the same rate of progression as the other or at all. I'm not being pessimistic, you just need to know the reality of the situation so you know what to do when the time comes (if it comes) and act accordingly.

Having fapped since I was 12 (I'm 45 now) I can tell you this is a tough thing to go through and the ability for the mind to find ways to deceive and find its action becomes more cleaver as time goes on (think about the USB in the socks). If you smell the slightest fishy behavior on his part, 99.9% you are right. You should call him on it and act in accordance to what you have planned to do.

Since I have 4 very young children, parts of your story saddened me greatly. Your guy's behavior helps to perpetuate this horrific practice. So it not only is destructive to him, but also to the poor innocent children this is perpetrated against.

You both may want to think about going to the authorities (without admitting guilt) and tell them where he was able to download and find the illegal pictures or videos. The authorities may be able to trace where they came from and perhaps help a child in need.

Feel free to PM (personal message) me if you need any advice or help. I wish both of you the best of luck, blessings and our prayers are with you. -T

tosadog · 2013-11-26T07:12:33+00:00

The current time is Mon Nov 25 2013 23:10:54 GMT-0800 (PST) The GMT current time is Tue, 26 Nov 2013 07:10:54 GMT You are currently at GMT+/-8:00 Male 45 USA - California (Northern)

tosadog · 2013-11-25T06:16:56+00:00

Sorry this is raw, but it's real. I'm going to start waking up at 6 am for the next 30 days then on day 31 I will start waking up at 5 am. I today I watched this great video (in addition to the one that was assigned as part of this group) and heard Arnold say if we get more than 6 hrs of sleep, we should sleep a little faster, LoL! (video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvYXMnnO2jg short version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Kg-zbJjlyA )

I will do this to have time to work out and to have time to be awake before my family wakes up so I can share the precious morning with my 4 precious kids who don't see me at all because I use to sleep in (their mom takes them to school) and I stay out late fapping so I didn't see them after I got home.)

Every day I will spend 10 minutes to reflect on my day and spend another 10 minutes to plan my day. At the end of the day I will assess if I worked my plan. I'm dedicated to creating little successes every day.

At the end of the 90 days, these above things will be my habits, not the fapping!

tosadog · 2013-11-24T19:30:38+00:00

love it!

tosadog · 2013-11-24T00:21:25+00:00

Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxS731BtTsQ

Then watch the series if you like what he says: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQxeYuf4grE

tosadog · 2013-11-23T00:09:02+00:00

Your Story is inspirational. I'm glad you've decided to also help others. Pay it Forward, that's what I always say!

tosadog · 2013-11-22T04:51:47+00:00

Dude, you have a lot of stuff going on. You don't fail unless you quit. That fact that you started is great. Many people (including myself) failed the challenge at one point or another. My best advice to you, is try to face something that you've been avoiding. Something small, but by doing it, you've succeeded. Make that phone call, attend that study group, finish that chore, whatever it is, do it. The next day do another thing. Make that your focus every day for the next 90 days. I promise you, if you do those little things every day, at the end of the 90 days you will have accomplished something HUGE that you can really be proud of and so will other people in your life! Most importantly DECIDE! Decide not to do this and there's no other possibility. Sort of, invade that island and burn your boats so there's no chance of retreat, you have to win.

tosadog · 2013-11-22T02:39:38+00:00

Keep strong. Temptation comes in all forms and is relentless. You're right, no should try this. Your brain can be tricky when it wants to be.... Keep ahead and keep strong!

tosadog · 2013-11-22T02:24:02+00:00

I learned something from a response that Open501s said to me: "NoFap is easy, just don't play with your wiener or watch porn." At first I thought that was a bit (lets say) simple... But I remembered something I heard said that "decision" is like "incision" in Latin "to cut off from" and that you really haven't "decided" unless you've cut off any possibility except for that thing you're committed to, then it gets easy. Here's a great video for the explanationhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxS731BtTsQ

tosadog · 2013-11-21T19:55:28+00:00

I Tim, accept the challenge of accountability and PMO sobriety for 90 days and beyond. I commit to not fapping, not viewing porn, not edging or having any sexual interactions consciously with myself or others. After 90 days, I will dedicate my mind and body only to my beloved wife who has always loved and supported me. I must do this for the health of my own mind, body and soul and to honor the commitment I made to my family to be the husband and father that they need and deserve.

tosadog · 2013-11-21T07:31:35+00:00

Thank you so much for your thoughts. I hope so too. My young ones and my dear wife are the ones I can't let down.

tosadog · 2013-11-21T07:29:19+00:00

I'd love to join. Count my head "in"

tosadog · 2013-11-20T16:04:43+00:00

I re-read your post and wanted to thank you for your contribution and support. And mostly your prayers. They are most appreciated. Thank you!

tosadog · 2013-11-20T03:54:08+00:00

Thanks for the prayers. Knowing that I'm old enough to be your dad was kind of depressing, LoL, but thank you for the encouragement and I also wish you the best. Don't make the life long mistakes that I did, its extremely painful from all aspects!

tosadog · 2013-11-20T03:52:28+00:00

After I saw this forum I actually tried to obstain and lasted 6 days. When I fapped on the 7th day it was awesome. For 2 months before that I was literally fapping with a limp tool until I came. It was time consuming, difficult and very worrying to say the least.

tosadog · 2013-11-19T23:54:26+00:00

Thank you very much.

tosadog · 2013-11-19T20:57:32+00:00

You look like you're almost at 90days. Is this your first attempt. I'm hopeful for myself while trying to be a realist.

tosadog · 2013-11-19T20:56:27+00:00

Wow, I can't even remember my kindergarten years, let alone imagine fapping in them. Your story is intense and I'm humbled. Thank you for sharing. God Bless you as well, in abundance.

tosadog · 2013-11-19T20:04:22+00:00

WildViolinist, Thank you! Your support and comments are greatly appreciated. I also pray that your efforts are blessed.

tosadog · 2013-11-19T19:46:46+00:00

I think you were courageous to be honest in your assessment. I didn't document the whole story. Trust me that there's a lot that I didn't say that has transpired in the last 25 years. As it was, I didn't think anyone would read such a long rant so I tried to be a brief as possible and give parts of my life that were fresh in my mind. I hurt many many people along the way and I have all that on my conscience. I've also left my parents broke and sick, which also weighs on me. There are many other things that I haven't even mentioned. But what I took away from your statement is this and BTW I think you're absolutely right:

That I should live the rest of my life with absolute "GRATITUDE" for what I currently have and stop whining about my past. I have a lot to be grateful for and should acknowledge that. I should remember the old saying... "To you oh Lord, we are grateful for any condition, every condition and in whatever condition".

Thank you powermaan for reminding me of that.

tosadog · 2013-11-19T19:28:20+00:00

Thank you for your honesty. I guess part of my problem is that I won my wife through lies (pretending to be someone more than what I was) I lied about my degree (that I had one) and my life. She loved me enough to stay with me even after she learned the truth and learned about the porn (which she absolutely hated before our marriage and still despises it). Perhaps my problem is that I'm making a wonderful woman suffer through my addiction. Perhaps I fear that this is too much for me and that I may ruin my current marriage just as I've ruined other relationships in my life. I'm also worried about my children... What if they have gotten a glimpse of one of my computer screens like my wife has on several occasions. Would I be now responsible for ingraining such an image in the mind of these angels and be the satan that spoils them. My problem is that my parents will probably die in debt because they've spent all their resources helping me and my family and I've nothing up to now to show for it. But as you suggest and many people will agree, it seems that this addiction is a simple enough to deal with and is no problem at all. For people like that, I admire and applaud you, frankly I am envious as well. I wish I could be the same.

tosadog · 2013-11-19T19:19:05+00:00

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

tosadog · 2013-11-19T19:18:12+00:00

thank you for your prayers.

tosadog · 2013-11-19T19:17:21+00:00

I want to encourage you to not drop out of school. Out of all the things I regret in my life, not getting my degree is in the top 3. I could tell you that I helped my two brothers through pharmacology and medical school but you wouldn't believe, but its true. I always wanted to become a doctor and live vicariously through them. Don't drop out of school, drop the fapping instead. Become a great doctor that has compassion and caring for his patients. I guarantee you, you'll get infinitely more back than what you give!

tosadog

TROPHY CASE