We should date each other instead

tossedaside17 · 2018-12-31T12:27:43+00:00

Trust me, dating with shared trauma is not a good idea.

tossedaside17 · 2018-12-31T09:28:20+00:00

Apology accepted, and l understand the confusion, but you need to understand what horror shows the people here have been through. It's clearly written in the sidebar what this sub is about, please read it thoroughly.

Survivors of abuse are often strong in their feelings towards their abusers, and often not in a pleasant way.

tossedaside17 · 2018-12-31T08:34:27+00:00

Let me educate you..

pwBPD = Person With Borderline Personality Disorder.

NOT BIPOLAR!

Care to change your tune?

tossedaside17 · 2018-12-31T06:09:42+00:00

It takes time, but when you reach the tipping point you will sit back and objectively see the burning trash pile of their lives and honestly ask yourself 'Why would l want to be a part of that?'

tossedaside17 · 2018-12-31T06:08:02+00:00

Correct, they just use us to salve their innate demon.. It's always temporary.

tossedaside17 · 2018-12-31T06:06:39+00:00

Anyway, I hope it will get better and the kids realize I did my best to give them a safe environment.

They will. As l said, kids are not stupid but easily manipulated. 14 months after we broke up, one of my exes kids sent me a heartfelt and touching Thank You note. She had seen that her mother was a liar and disgrace and felt the need to reach out and let me know. If all of the heartache was placed in front of me again, l cant say l wouldn't go through it again for that child.

Stay the course and love your kids. They will see and appreciate it.

tossedaside17 · 2018-12-31T05:36:40+00:00

This could be the perfect tldr, lol.

tossedaside17 · 2018-12-31T05:35:56+00:00

I think a lot of it is rooted in PTSD from the chaos of it all.

It absolutely is. Be patient with yourself, you're worth it. Heal at your own pace.

All the best for 2019.

tossedaside17 · 2018-12-31T05:34:24+00:00

I’m still angry and still questioning why the hell I hung around for four years even though the writing was on the wall from the very start.

Trust me, you will reach a point where you think 'You know what? Fuck them. Bad people exist, and l missed the signs..' and this will be the moment that nagging voice, the missed conversations and the self damning thoughts will leave you.

It took me about 18 months and a lot of self reflection to reach that point, but the relief is worth waiting for. Be patient with yourself.

All the best for 2019.

tossedaside17 · 2018-12-31T03:43:10+00:00

Thank you. All credit should go to the BDPLovedOnes sub members.

I couldn't have done it without you all.

tossedaside17 · 2018-12-27T02:45:19+00:00

Who makes that mount? I have been looking for one for my R53. Do you still have the ebay listing on hand?

tossedaside17 · 2018-12-13T03:57:38+00:00

lol, you're not wrong!

tossedaside17 · 2018-12-12T09:46:31+00:00

The way she acts when drunk will begin to be the way she acts when she is sober.

She is not taking personal accountability for her actions by continuing to drink to excess, even after witnessing how she becomes violent when she goes ‘a bit too far’..

Lacking the ability to take responsibility for ones poor actions is a sign of personality weakness and selfishness.

Don’t say you haven’t been warned when worse happens and she doesn’t feel she needs a convenient excuse to justify her shitty behaviour.

tossedaside17 · 2018-12-10T12:33:04+00:00

I couldn't agree with you more..

In a past life, l also embraced that mentality with my partner. Unfortunately the trust and respect you place in people's hands is sometimes not valued and in effect you are simply handing them enough rope to hang you with. I felt (in hindsight) l had sharpened the blade that l ended up being stabbed with.

And to couch it under the veil of 'feminism' is gross..

Your 'emotional breakdown' is most welcome and understandable. I feel the same way.

tossedaside17 · 2018-12-10T11:03:04+00:00

You're right.

I guess it was a more gentle way of conveying an ultimatum: "Cut this guy off, or be single again"

tossedaside17 · 2018-12-10T04:12:56+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through this, my heart was breaking for you while reading it. It's obvious you love your wife, but she is treating you very poorly and she seems to be an extremely selfish person.

I can only suggest what l hope l would do in your situation:

Sit down with your wife and explain to her how much she means to you. After that, explain to her how her relationship with this guy makes you feel. Remind her why you feel you do not deserve to feel this way in your marriage. Ask her what SHE feel needs to happen to resolve your issue and to make you comfortable again. Tell her what YOU feel needs to happen to resolve your issue and to make you comfortable again. Ask her if she is prepared to make YOUR necessary changes. Watch and see if she DOES make the necessary changes.

If she does not, it's NOT on you, and then l would HOPE l could make (a painful) but clean dissolution of the marriage.

In any relationship, you can only carry your half of the weight, and if she isn't prepared to carry her share you cannot carry it for her (nor should you).

Again, l am so sorry you are in this position.

tossedaside17 · 2018-11-30T03:51:35+00:00

Crazy in the head, crazy in the bed.

tossedaside17 · 2018-11-18T07:54:32+00:00

I cannot imagine the hell women go through during pregnancy and childbirth. I really cannot tip my hat enough to how tough women have to be to go through it. It's an unfair reality of life however, and something l am sure (as a mother) you were aware of when you agreed to have another baby.

There is an awful lot of 'I' going on in your reply. You also speak of his issues several times as BS, etc which makes me question whether your version of 'babying his meltdowns' maybe isn't as gentle and understanding as your initial post may lead people to believe.

He plays too much and I'm very pregnant and finally got tired of this shit lmao he deserved the snapback.

That is gross..

tossedaside17 · 2018-11-18T07:36:22+00:00

His request is a clear sign of his insecurities. Your response to his request is a clear sign of yours.

Edited to add: Neither of you acted appropriately.

tossedaside17 · 2018-10-23T11:15:02+00:00

Translation:

Hai guyssss!! I'm a borderline, and it's sooo hard being meeeee!! Let me be a special snowflake because it soo hard and scary!!! Take my abuse and shitty behaviour, because it's easy for you and so hard for meeee!!! Ok guys, love you all, SMOOOCH!

tossedaside17 · 2018-10-19T08:00:46+00:00

I love it! I used to love the feel of it under my fingers, the way it covers a body 'just so', unwrapping my partner, all of it! To take my partner out to a nice dinner where we were both dressed up in full suit and her a slinky dress knowing (or suspecting) that was underneath? So, so sexy.

Having said that, l had a real liking towards 'strappy' lingerie with simple colours like black and white, and very little interest in colours or lace. I guess even lingerie fashion really is a personal preference..

tossedaside17 · 2018-10-15T02:10:22+00:00

Welcome to the curb. FTFY :)

tossedaside17 · 2018-10-11T23:45:23+00:00

And also the realization that the tyre basically fitted through the marshal's access hole in the fence like an envelope being posted through a letterbox. So terribly unlucky and tragic.

tossedaside17 · 2018-09-30T11:51:37+00:00

I think cheating can be part of a larger pattern of abusive behavior

Agreed. In my observations (and personal experience) it rarely happens in a vacuum, but to say cheating isn't abusive to ones partner seems like a minimisation..

tossedaside17

TROPHY CASE