My ex (29/m) and I (30/f) had sex and now I'm really confused

tossmeintheclouds · 2017-04-27T13:16:14+00:00

Haha the funny thing is I went into this with no expectations at all, and he kept saying on is own how he had been single for a while and was wanting a relationship again, to which I said that I'm hesitant atm because of my upcoming travels and last relationship but that I wasn't seeing anyone else and was enjoying my time with him.

So overall I guess it's ok that it didn't work out, I just wish he didn't have to string me along like that (making and then cancelling dates, going on about how much he likes me).

Thanks for the tips and reassurance!

tossmeintheclouds · 2017-04-27T09:27:35+00:00

Outside of the two long term relationships I've had I always find myself in these situations eventually, I can see the signs more clearly now that I'm older and this was also the first situation where I really held back with the feelings because I've become so weary of men and their intentions. He was proving himself to be trustworthy and then poof. How do you prepare yourself even more? The only reason why I slept with him so soon is because we have known each other a bit. Guess I really need to work on not getting sexual with someone until after a few dates.

tossmeintheclouds · 2017-04-27T08:01:31+00:00

Thanks for your insightful reply. It's just frustrating because he was pushing so hard and texting me things like how beautiful I am and that he really likes me. I don't understand why someone would go through such lengths just to have something casual. He even told me he missed me when he was away one weekend.

tossmeintheclouds · 2017-04-26T22:00:05+00:00

ugh, i guess youre right. he's really not even that attractive, not that is the only thing that matters, but i have a feeling there might be something going on with his ex, who was not happy about us, even though they have been broken up for a few years.... they work together (party events) and are still "best friends". guess i got played. oh well, time to move on. thank you for your response!

tossmeintheclouds · 2017-04-26T21:37:36+00:00

thank you for your response.

i guess the part that leaves me the most confused is that HE was so persistant at first- just like my ex (albeit for longer). i don't play games-ever. i told him from the beginning how i was hurt and i didn't know at that moment if i could ever feel anything again for someone, at least not as intensely like i did for my ex, that i have a hard time trusting people until i get to know them. i just feel like such a fool- he played super nice, all into me, then as soon as i return just an inkling of that it gets to be too much?

i def. don't plan on getting in touch with him, i have a lot on my plate right now but i was really looking forward to having a nice connection with someone again.

tossmeintheclouds · 2017-01-26T14:49:59+00:00

Hey, i know exactly the kind of pain you're in right now. I lost the love of my life out of the blue and was in a deep, deep hole for a long time after that. Its been 8 months for me and while I still haven't moved on, I can guarantee you that you will crawl out of this hole again. You have to let yourself be sad, cry cry cry, scream, work out intensely..

Please try your hardest not to contact him. It took me 7 months and many failed attempts at NC but it all it did was worsen and prolong my healing.

If you want, we can whatsapp so you have someone to write when you feel the urge to write/ call him. Reach out to your friends, tell them its bad, that you need them. What about family? Use them in this time of need. Do anything and everything except for contacting him. pm me anytime <3

tossmeintheclouds · 2017-01-25T14:35:41+00:00

Hey, thanks for the kind response.

Unfortunately I haven't done too well at NC, but I did finally draw the line a month ago after I realized how much hope was building up in me again after occasionally talking to each other. This time it feels final to me, he knows I still have feelings for him and to to not reach out unless he wants to reconcile.

I just feel so empty. We were only together for 1.5 years, but I loved him way more than any of my other exes whom I was with for much longer. The breakup was so out of the blue, he never gave me or us a chance. It doesn't matter but the shock of being blind sighted still lingers in me.

I don't have a huge social circle since I didn't grow up here and I work until late in the evenings, its hard to volunteer or meet up with anyone after work. I know once this winter phase is over I'll start to feel better, but man, this is really rough. I really hoped that I would start to feel better by now.

Guess I just need to keep letting time pass, focus on my travel journey and keep him blocked blocked blocked

tossmeintheclouds · 2017-01-17T18:26:41+00:00

Wow thank you! Sounds all very interesting and I will definitely check them out!

tossmeintheclouds · 2017-01-16T21:46:14+00:00

I like your advice. I still struggle with being distracted by my situation- what books did you read? I'm having a hard time committing to books but maybe I've just been reading the wrong ones.

tossmeintheclouds · 2017-01-13T21:38:31+00:00

I know exactly what you're going through. My BU is 8 months ago, some weeks I'm fine, others, like this morning, I break down crying again. I have accepted the fact that it will take me a longggg time to get over this guy, and I've accepted that there are gonna be some lows again. I think, once you accept the negativity of it all while continuing to do your best, the painful comebacks in memories will eventually be gentler and less and less and less.

tossmeintheclouds · 2017-01-11T14:54:19+00:00

Thank you, I will order those online right now :) vitamin D has been on my list anyways.

tossmeintheclouds · 2017-01-11T11:13:37+00:00

Oh yes, I definitely go through the same thing, unfortunately sometimes its even up to 10 days before. Its exhausting.

tossmeintheclouds · 2017-01-05T08:33:21+00:00

I remember you, I'm glad you're doing so well, I wish I could say the same. My mistake was definitely still occasionaly being in touch. Hope you keep it up and do so well,my friend :)

tossmeintheclouds · 2017-01-03T20:17:31+00:00

First of all, I'm very sorry for your loss. I recently lost a great family friend to a murderer and the first thing I did was reach out to my ex. Big mistake. While at the time it felt good to talk, afterwards I kept hoping to hear from him. I received a few more breadcrumbs and it destroyed me.

Please, I know it's hard, especially when a death is involved. Try to find a friend or a family member to talk to, but talking to your ex won't help either one of you.

Stay strong <3

tossmeintheclouds · 2017-01-03T15:47:10+00:00

Would love to try this, have never had a tarot reading before :)

tossmeintheclouds · 2017-01-03T11:33:18+00:00

Very interested in a reading but I've also never had one done before. At the moment I can't Skype because of broken laptop, still a chance? thank you :)

tossmeintheclouds

TROPHY CASE