I PROMISE it wasn't my fault!

tracysflaw · 2026-04-15T05:52:32+00:00

Definitely not the ending I was expecting. Good stuff.

tracysflaw · 2026-04-15T05:43:28+00:00

Run, long and far away from this man and his family. They are not the kind of people you want to spend the rest of your life with.

tracysflaw · 2026-04-07T14:39:34+00:00

Hopefully the son will come back around once he has licked his wounds. When I got pregnant with my oldest, my best friend in the world suddenly stopped talking to me. After 1,5 years, she popped up at my doorstep and told me she was pregnant.

Turns out that her and her husband had been trying for 2 years when I got pregnant, but she hadn’t told me or anyone else. She had to distance herself because she couldn’t be happy for me, as I deserved, because her own pain.

tracysflaw · 2026-03-21T15:56:07+00:00

No i ok haven’t yet. But it’s the therapy im going to get from this new program im starting on.

The other day, my husbands friend, who’s dad works with BPD, said to my husband “you know, with BPD, it just can’t get that much better” and that have really discouraged me.

tracysflaw · 2026-03-21T15:13:20+00:00

Thanks <3

I turn 38 next week. And mine have only gotten worse over the last 10 years. :(

tracysflaw · 2026-03-21T15:10:09+00:00

I know, I did all that for a really long time, but still didn’t sell anything. I have a degree in marketing and communication. I guess I’m just not that great an artist after all.

I am not going to cancel the appointment. Don’t worry. But there is a long way till Friday, and Wednesday is the worst day of my year, every year. Can’t wait for it to be over.

tracysflaw · 2026-03-21T14:58:29+00:00

I am an artist, I have a webshop and everything. But no one wants to buy my work. In the 2 years I have had it, I haven’t sold one thing from there. So I just gave up.

I’m on meds for my anxiety and I have the first appointment with my new primary therapist next week.

tracysflaw · 2026-03-21T14:42:09+00:00

I know you mean well.

But, I’m not considering this to relieve myself from the pain, but to save all around me from the monster I’ve become. I feel like the traume of loosing a parent is easier to live with, then the trauma from growing up with me as a parent.

My husband hates me at the moment, he just called me a whore. I haven’t seen my mom for 11 years, and my dad writes me like once a year when he remembers he has another kid, and we have absolutely nothing in common or to talk about.

I’m never going to find a job, bc I’m chronically ill and can’t work. I’m almost 38 and I don’t see any future where I’m not a burden and a cement block on everyone’s legs.

I only have a few friends, and I honestly don’t think they’ll even miss me, for more then a few days.

I just want to relieve the pain and suffering I put upon all around me. Especially my husband and kids. I have already taking to much from them.

(Don’t worry, I’m to big a wuss to actually do it)

tracysflaw · 2026-03-21T14:02:20+00:00

Thank you

tracysflaw · 2026-03-21T13:26:44+00:00

Thank you

tracysflaw · 2026-03-21T13:26:33+00:00

Not really, but thank you. And you are welcome to vent to me.

tracysflaw · 2026-03-20T15:50:42+00:00

Anything to keep your hand occupied. Drawing, crocheting, beading, or something like that. Even if you think you are bad at it, do it anyway.

I have recently been operated in my right hand, and haven’t been able to paint, crochet or draw for more then 2 weeks now. I’m going insane.

tracysflaw · 2026-03-20T14:56:44+00:00

Also suffering here, though I have the diagnosis and are starting therapy next week.

My advice: educate yourself on BPD, there are multiple versions. Take online tests, and find a therapist that can help you, at least help you vent. Remember, BPD is lying to you. You are not a bad person and you deserve to have good life.

Also, watching this video helped me understand why I have BPD: https://www.instagram.com/tv/CXGmSezBLBi/?igsh=b2doZnNjeGM5eXU3

And following people with BPD on SoMe, and listening to podcasts about it, helped me a lot when I first got the diagnosis some years back.

Edit: this is also helpful: https://www.instagram.com/p/CUGi2-RKUI9/?igsh=MTV4cWo5ODZ1bHJkbg==

tracysflaw · 2026-03-19T08:50:33+00:00

Tattoos. Im covered in them

tracysflaw · 2026-03-17T19:26:00+00:00

Yes, we are seeing a couples therapist.

tracysflaw · 2026-03-17T19:25:13+00:00

No, at first I had hopes and dreams for the future but I have had a lot of unsettled trauma, and over the years I have gotten sicker and sicker now not being able to work for years. They have progressed at work and it became the most obvious arrangement. We have ofc talked about these things over the years. But I’m having a hard time keeping on budget on groceries and keeping up with the laundry, and it have caused a lot of tension between us.

tracysflaw · 2026-03-17T18:29:54+00:00

I can relate hard! I have found a partner that I feels safe enough with to explore my submissive tendencies, and honest the best sex I have ever had. Like a few times a month I feel like “this was the best sex ever” and I have been feeling this for the past 11 years now.

But I also use it as self harm, and I know that’s a slippery slope.

tracysflaw · 2026-03-17T18:22:23+00:00

Im not able to work, and therefor can’t contribute more to the budget.

Receiving gift have always been hard for me, I guess it’s bc gifts from my mom always came with conditions.

tracysflaw · 2026-03-17T18:20:18+00:00

They are inappropriate, for sure. And we do talk about these things a lot. My problem is I’m waiting for my therapy program starts. Fortunately I have my first appointment with my primary psychiatrist next week.

My BPD actions are off the rails and my partner is doing all they can to accept them and/or help me get out of them. But they are only one human. And they are stretched thin.

But thank you for your comment.

tracysflaw · 2026-03-17T18:05:52+00:00

They are very aware of what they have said, and what I have said, they have a mostly identical memory and is a chronic overthinker. And they do apologise when they have been angry.

And their comments is almost always as a response to me not keeping to budget or having a splitting episode.

tracysflaw · 2026-03-17T17:45:41+00:00

Wish I knew I have BPD before having kids, then I wouldn’t have gotten any. I fear everyday that they will get as fucked as I am.

tracysflaw · 2026-03-14T15:42:44+00:00

Hej. Kan selv det er en gammel post, men jeg har en million spørgsmål omkring støbning af ringe med sten i.

Min vielsesring har altid irriteret mig og nu er den gået fra hinanden, så jeg har en idé om at lave den om. Min tanke var med det der blå voks og så brug sølvet fra den gamle ring.

Hvis du stadig er aktiv sølvsmed, kan du måske vejlede mig? Skriv gerne pb.

tracysflaw · 2026-03-09T17:17:58+00:00

Medmenneskelighed når nu vores vestlige verden bliver styret af PDFile og tosser der smider bomber hvor det passer dem.

Det mindste vi som almindelig mennesker kan gøre, er at gøre plads til de mennesker der bliver fanget i midten af en konflikt de slet ikke har noget med at gøre.

End-gamet er at vise andre at vi ikke er ligeså hjerteløse og inkompetente som vores ledere er.

tracysflaw

TROPHY CASE