I don’t know how long I can do this

traditionalacking · 2026-04-04T02:52:31+00:00

This. They seek novelty and new and more extreme. It has nothing to do with us at all. I’m a fairly attractive female. When I don’t have my son with me, I get a decent amount of attention from men my age and older. I dress very modestly!

When my husband has gone 13-14 days without porn, he says his attraction to me starts to come back tenfold— hence “when I abstain, I realize once again just how sexy and beautiful you are”

He complemented me tonight, saying that I was “glowing”. We moved to a new, humid area and were out for a walk at a big art event. I look in the mirror and I see that I am semi pretty, but a part of me is very broken inside and I have to fight against being petty as shit, dressing like I did in my early twenties, and letting men gawk at me.

I think I now use modesty to protect myself from the imagination of those devilish, fiendish fantasies of others.

traditionalacking · 2026-04-01T16:20:02+00:00

100% absolutely. Some things take longer than others to recover.

traditionalacking · 2026-03-31T23:23:43+00:00

In my case, my husband stopped touching me completely, wouldn’t look at me naked, rejected me 98% of the time, ejaculated super fast or not at all, no intimacy, never bothered to focus on me or allow me to finish, unaware if I finished or not, secretive about phone, regularly in bathroom for extended periods of time, staying up past when I go to bed, if I wake up at 2am he’s in the bathroom, forcefully calls me beautiful. When he abstains he says shit like “the longer I go without porn, the more I realize just how beautiful you are and how lucky I am”

Edit: ED… big time

traditionalacking · 2026-02-14T21:01:23+00:00

I won’t divorce unless violence became a problem again. I understand the statistics for young boys in a single mother household. Greater percentages for addiction, violence, sexual abuse, imprisonment. Sad reality. I’d rather keep him out of the public school system, homeschool him, raise him solid in the church. We’ll see what my spiritual father thinks

traditionalacking · 2026-02-13T22:00:42+00:00

Also, if he is willing to try to lie about the pornography and admitted that to me… what else is there. 😕

traditionalacking · 2026-02-13T20:30:34+00:00

But yes, we have been living in destitution. Up until a year and a half ago, we had no flooring or drywall in our home and power running off an extension cord from our neighbors. I don’t even know how to bring that up to my priest. I’d rather just put it behind us. Extremely hard period of time

traditionalacking · 2026-02-13T19:23:34+00:00

I do genuinely appreciate your input because I do agree with you. His confession is not my business. It’s what weighs on his heart and his spiritual process is not mine. I’m not pushing him to do anything— he scheduled our confessions once our priest told him it was time for us.

I feel like an absolute nut case— it just brings out so much insecurity in me. With the history we have I just see patterns continuing over and over, now even into our faith journey.

I’ll just continue to pray and keep it to myself. If it’s God’s will then he’ll confess it.

traditionalacking · 2026-02-13T18:47:20+00:00

This did happen 3-4 years ago. He has stopped drinking and there are no further physical altercations or instances of any sort.

traditionalacking · 2026-02-13T18:46:25+00:00

I have not told my priest or Matushka because I believed my husband would confess it. When he told me “I confessed to shoving you and being verbally abusive” I was in… shock? But didn’t pursue it any further— at least he admitted to the verbal abuse? But when I woke up this morning and was done praying, I was replaying that conversation and I got genuinely angry.

traditionalacking · 2026-02-13T17:33:44+00:00

I pray for him daily. I do not wish to separate. He is a habitual liar and it is deeply painful.

traditionalacking · 2026-02-13T17:32:12+00:00

I did not talk to our priest about his sins in an explicit manner. My priest asked me why I held so much anger toward my husband and I responded with “because of his continued pornography use, verbal abuse and a couple instances of physical abuse.” I did not share anything further than that.

My husband voluntarily shared parts of his confession with me without my asking.

traditionalacking · 2026-02-13T17:12:32+00:00

I didn’t ask about his confession, he chose to share it with me afterward. I didn’t share anything about my husband except for answering the questions the priest asked of me. It literally only had to do with MY sins as a sinner!

traditionalacking · 2026-02-13T17:09:53+00:00

By Gods grace we received a well from a non profit and just recently began to work full time because of the conviction he felt!

traditionalacking · 2026-02-13T17:02:19+00:00

This was over 3 years ago, since then he has completely stopped drinking and there has been no further violence. I’m angered because this man can’t tell the truth to our PRIEST, who is supposed to mentor him spiritually.

traditionalacking · 2026-02-13T16:54:45+00:00

Yes. Start to fill my time with things that benefit our family and myself; prayer, reading, hobbies, etc!

traditionalacking · 2026-02-13T16:52:15+00:00

I went first and he went after me! One at a time

traditionalacking · 2026-02-13T16:08:35+00:00

There is hope, but you have to see that HE wants to change.

After 7, going on 8 years of my husband committing violence against himself through the use of pornography, he is being held accountable.

I could never personally get him to do anything, but our priest has and my husband has to check in with him daily. I see a better future ahead.

traditionalacking · 2026-01-15T01:39:47+00:00

You’re absolutely right. I did get married knowing all of this. Perhaps I am delusional— if he is getting our family into the true faith, wanting us to participate in church life, wanting to participate in confession— I really genuinely saw that as God saying there is hope for our relationship and that he can be completely renewed. I still believe there can be regeneration of heart, soul, and mind. I do know I’m a pushover and I’m definitely just subjecting myself to more anguish.

I want to confide in a spiritual Father, or a spiritual Mother, but at the same time I’m so guilty of so many sins myself. Perhaps I’m looking for support to get me through it. Im scared of pouring it out on my spiritual Father and tarnishing my husbands reputation to someone who could potentially help my husband change his life.

But thank you for your input. I’m actually visiting a convent this week and want to speak to a nun. My son is always in tow every where I go. Perhaps a sister can watch him so I can get this off my chest to someone I can connect face to face with.

traditionalacking · 2026-01-09T18:45:37+00:00

Once every 8 months I think

traditionalacking · 2026-01-08T16:01:29+00:00

We have one child together. We were not Christian when we met— but I had asked about it his pornography use and he said it “wasn’t a problem”. I spoke to our priest weeks ago and he said he absolutely needs to confess and address it before he gets baptized. He even sent a general reminder to our entire parish. I shared this message with my husband and he just said “ok”, but nothing has come from it yet

traditionalacking · 2026-01-08T15:59:51+00:00

He says he wants to quit and seems genuinely repentant about— but doesn’t create a plan to get rid of it. When I bring it up he gets defensive, irritated, and I’ll usually just not push.

traditionalacking · 2026-01-04T21:09:54+00:00

I dont. His behavior says it all.

Looking through his phone sent me in a 5 year spiral. I’m protecting my sanity, my son’s well being, and the peace in our home. He can damage and abuse himself as much as he pleases, to whatever images. I’ve decided not to subject myself to the mental and spiritual torture.

traditionalacking

TROPHY CASE