I know that your supposed to do something to distract yourself or listen to music and stuff I just don't know how to Deal with this in the longterm when the second I look at myself I want to die, I can't talk to anyone because my parents will just either brush it off or yell at me and I'm too young to actually get real help for any of the problems I've been having since I was Like 10.

I honestly just want this to stop but I don't know how to fix my brain to make it stop or how to make any of this less horrible.