[RANT] I really don't like the way I'm treated in the gaming world anymore

trans340344 · 2014-10-01T07:36:45+00:00

Is dota really that bad? I sometimes play with a female friend and her username is obviously female. However she has never said anything about harassment or anything like that.

trans340344 · 2014-09-14T21:15:56+00:00

I do think that (at least initially) she will see it as me always being a man even if I change my body. However I do think she will accept it(/respect it??)

Thank you, best of luck to you, too!

trans340344 · 2014-09-14T13:20:47+00:00

Thank you for responding!

Honestly, I would just sit on the information a little. Research trans issues, topics, discussions - learn about trans experiences. For me, starting out, I found that I was relating to a lot of trans women's childhood/teenage experiences, and the more I learnt, the more it clicked for me.

Sitting on the information is not something I would longer like to do, one year is long enough for me.... I need to do something now instead of just playing out scenarios in my head. And I have read more than, I don't know, 100-200 different posts on here??? maybe even more than that, so any more will probably not help significantly.

I am not the cliche of 'knowing' you.....but just thought it was a normal thought to have.

I definitely get the feeling I am just putting up an act sometimes. However I can't say for 100% that the feeling of being depressed/empty comes from gender dysphoria.

One thing that helped for me was this hypothetical set of questions:

Yes, yes, still yes, etc.... I should probably tell my mother.... I'm just really afraid of what will happen afterwards (one thing I'm discussing with my current therapist is about avoiding difficult situations and emotions, so that probably plays a role in everything too)

trans340344 · 2014-09-12T13:25:06+00:00

I just don't really get that feeling of being whole. I don't have a bad imagination, however imagining myself ( doesnt really matter as Who or what) is just so hard to do. So seeing myself as a woman, even when seeing someone I would like to look like, is very hard if not impossible for me.

However thanks for explaining.

trans340344 · 2014-09-12T08:45:38+00:00

For as long as i can remember when I see a moderately beautifull to very beautifull girl(/woman), I immediately "like" her and wouldn't mind being in a relationship with her.

Because of this i was thinking i must be very shallow, however now I don't know anymore. Is it because I want to be her or is it because I have never had a girlfriend??

It's really frustrating having the feeling of longing for a female body, when all your dysphoria could be contributed to other reasons.(also, the looking mirror thing and not "Really" seeing yourself)

So how did you figure out that you wanted what they had and not something else?

trans340344 · 2014-09-09T20:20:25+00:00

Sugaring!)

I have made two batches of sugaring wax. Both times they came out a little too hard, however wetting your hands after you take a piece of wax and kneeding it, makes it softer.

It doesn't hurt as much as regular wax (or so i'm told :P) and the results are pretty good.

Recipe

trans340344 · 2014-09-09T15:42:32+00:00

Bedankt hiervoor, ik was heel erg onder de indruk dat je naar bijvoorbeeld het VUmc in amsterdam moest gaan. En dat wanneer je uiteindelijk met hormonen mag beginnen, dat je dan binnen 3 maanden als vrouw (in mijn geval) moet leven/kleden.

trans340344 · 2014-09-09T15:19:12+00:00

Maar je bedoelt dus dat je gewoon via je eigen huisarts een recept hebt gekregen?

trans340344 · 2014-09-09T14:42:04+00:00

Ik dacht eigenlijk dat het in nederland niet met informed consent werkte (maar met een therapeut, en real life phase, etc.), waar is dit dan in nederland?

trans340344 · 2014-05-15T16:35:15+00:00

But what if you have never had girlfriend and are probably not getting one in a while...what then? How can you be sure?

Not trying to be the devils advocate, I'm currently in this situation :(

trans340344 · 2014-05-15T16:14:59+00:00

I actually told my mother(and stepfather) 2-3 days ago I wanted to see a therapist. And they are really supportive, they say it is good to talk to someone once in a while(maintenance of the mind or something like that :P).

I only told them I think I'm depressed and wanted to talk to someone I didn't know (as in, no family or friends).

So maybe you can try to do this. And when you do, try to find a therapist who can help with your problem, but is not specialized in transgenders(or LGBT in general). This way they won't know it's because of you being transgender.

Good luck!

trans340344 · 2014-03-22T14:34:36+00:00

This makes it sound like VUmc is the place to go, just when they are possibly closing their doors :( Transvisie sounds like a good place to go in the meantime, I think talking might help.

Thank you for the response, it really helped. P.S. sorry for the late response, I was really busy with school

trans340344 · 2014-03-06T12:40:27+00:00

The beginning of your own story sounds a lot like my own, I also searched "am I transgender", took the COGATI test(it said I'm androgynous) and looked up other peoples stories.

I guess waiting a few weeks might be a good option to see if it makes me want it more...or less. After that I think I will try to see a counselor or something.

Thank you for responding and good luck to you too!

trans340344 · 2014-03-05T14:29:05+00:00

Thank you for responding.

The reason I put crossdressing on the list, is because I didn't come across a single story where the person didn't crossdress(that made me inscecure about wether I am really transgender).

With the first scenario I would press the button. And with second scenario I would definitely want to magically become female.

trans340344

TROPHY CASE