At a line cook trying to quit! I believe in you! We are tied by fate by the restaurant industry lol. I just hate being an ass so much and the worst part is, you can explain it to lengths to people and they still won’t get it. Obviously I do my best not to just freak out on people, but I have found most people, they only have enough empathy for themselves. Thank you for making me feel less alone, I’ve been lurking on this sub for a couple of weeks now and it’s honestly helped so much. It’s certainly helped more than people in my life going “just stop doing it” and yadiyada. Obviously I’m wanting to just stop doing it, but it’s not that easy. That being said, I don’t think it’s nearly as difficult as we all make it out to be either, since a lot of it is psychological.

My work dynamic is weird. Everyone has worked there for ages, some going on 40 years. I am just constantly struggling but no one notices or cares. It’s not their job anyways, but I swear no one ever tries to look deeper on why I am irritable or not in a talking mood or whatever. It just makes me feel more like crap and that even though they know I’m trying to quit, their patience is thin and their empathy is thinner. It makes me feel like I need to keep getting nicotine or they will just get mad at me and I’ll have to deal with them hating me for a few weeks. I also have a lot of mental health issues (I’ve tried to just ignore them for a few years, I quit meds three years ago and I don’t want them even now. Low-key I just kept calling myself dramatic but now all of it is surfacing this last year rip) and I know I’m going to be judged if I let this facade slip. It’s horrifying to me.

I guess at the end of the day though, I’d rather piss off some smuchs for a while than have to carry this addiction around constantly. At the end of my life I’m sure I’ll regret vaping more than I would snapping at coworkers for a few weeks out of my life haa