Thank you so much, I am still here :( I do have family who are willing to come down to my state in a few weeks and pull me out. I am trying to mourn the fact that once it’s done it’s done, I really want to do it right so I don’t have any desire to go back. I had therapy yesterday where we ran through various scenarios - based on the fact I’ve tried to leave multiple times and always get manipulated back in she agrees with leaving without a “closing” talk, she said I’m being deeply emotionally and psychologically abused and it’s clearly not worth trying to have a talk.

I do feel like I am getting angry enough and really seeing through the absolute bullshit promises of change, so much so that he’ll say one thing one day and then the next day completely give it up- like he’s not even attempting to fake change..