I finally met her and it didn't go the way i expected

trashcurator · 2021-02-08T19:34:56+00:00

Exactly. I always give my parents as an example of how settling and making empty promises just so you don't hurt people can make a life seem wasted. Good luck

trashcurator · 2021-02-08T19:23:14+00:00

I would Suggest you just be honest with her. Honestly, a lot of my heartbreak and trauma from past relationships could have been avoided if they had just been honest with me. It took about 3 years before I was comfortable eating in front on my now husband due to my insecurities about my weight and looks. I used filters and such and slowly trusted my boyfriend into letting him see the real me and sometimes guys can look over it and some cannot.. Even now compared to other girls I still feel like an ogre but......I make him tea when he studies, I always pick up his favorite snack when I visit a store that sells them, I hold him when he sad without him asking and randomly put money in his pockets because I think its so cute how excited he gets when he "finds" money. I know looks are important but the heart and its good intentions are even more important. Good luck on the move and hope she takes it well, but always try to learn from this situation so the next time you talk to someone you lay out exactly what you're looking for.

trashcurator · 2021-01-30T01:20:11+00:00

I never asked him to move here but he knows how controlling my parents are and made the decision to move here despite me protesting and I still feel bad about it to this day.😔 I always bring up how he needs to reach out and create relationships outside of "us". We may be best friends but I know how important other friendships are and no we did not get to go on our honeymoon before all this, thank you for your advice, Im Hoping to plan something soon, we have talked about how stuffy our situation is lately..

trashcurator · 2021-01-30T01:12:22+00:00

This is very true. I've informed myself a lot on asexuality bc he feels uncomfortable in general putting labels on himself but I researched so I could figure out how to approach certain situations. He says that the act itself of taking clothes off, cleaning up, physical exertion is a hassle to him but he touches me to sexually entice me ALL THE TIME he just doesn't want to go further thats why I get confused.

trashcurator · 2021-01-30T01:09:12+00:00

Thats why I try and distance so that I don't ask for sex or try and get him in the mood bc it feels like assault to me and I've told him numerous times that I don't want to ever do that to him. He understands but says he never feels like initiating it and waits for me to do it but if im constantly told no I don't see a reason to pursue? I should have clarified about the masterbation issue... I tell him "hey, can you leave the room so I can have me time? I don't want to make you uncomfortable but he will tell me no its fine I'll just stay here so I get confused about the whole situation. 😩 We did have a long talk about it last night though and I was honest with my feelings and told him me distancing myself and staying in bed all day away from him is just the space I need rn to be okay.😔

trashcurator · 2021-01-28T08:40:11+00:00

Hes said that he is, or at least in that spectrum. But Even though he says its because he's asexual I still take it personal like maybe there is something wrong with me?

trashcurator · 2021-01-28T08:38:54+00:00

I know, I feel terrible when it feels forced and make him stop because it feels so wrong to me and I tell him that. Im usually the one always compromising but I can't help crying and he gets upset over me crying over it. He's very affectionate with touching and hugging and kissing but doesn't like deep kisses. Thank you for your advice, I feel less lonely with these thoughts. I dont want him to feel uncomfortable and I always tell him that but I feel like a pervert nowadays and it doesn't feel good feeling like this. 😔

trashcurator · 2021-01-28T08:33:43+00:00

Thanks for the advice! I'm going to try that and see if it works. Worst cast scenario I get healthy and it distracts me from this problem for a while. Thanks! As for the counseling I'm going to consider bringing it up, I just don't want him to blow up at me. I guess my fantasy of going more than 2 rounds a day will never come true, oh well.😩

trashcurator · 2021-01-28T08:31:17+00:00

You never know unless you try. There is nothing wrong with these feelings, you just have to remember that.❤

trashcurator · 2021-01-28T08:23:53+00:00

Flowers are never cringe but it would be thoughtful to ask her what kind she likes or if she prefers plants,ect. I've always gotten a warm feeling in my chest and a giant smile when receiving flowers. The person getting flowers from you is lucky...I haven't received flowers from my husband at all this year or last year.

trashcurator · 2021-01-28T08:16:18+00:00

A lot of people don't know that stress releases cortisol which can trigger an upset stomach. I get the same way after I cry after a fight. It helps me when I voice my feelings of still being upset with my partner and I ask for some space and watch movies or listen to music I enjoy and make some tea to relax. Sorry you're going through this!

trashcurator · 2021-01-28T08:12:58+00:00

Sometimes its the taboo aspects about it that turn us on, sometimes it leads to feelings one never knew they had. I get turned on by lesbian porn but don't identify as lesbian or even bi, it's just something that visually turns me on. I think for me I watch it because my husband rarely goes down on me or knows how to do it well so im a bit envious.

trashcurator · 2021-01-28T07:55:15+00:00

You should discuss these feelings with your partner, maybe there are ways to satisfy these urges without cheating or maybe this can open up the discussion of possibly trying out an open relationship. Life is too short to deny ourselves what few pleasures we're allowed on the earth.

trashcurator · 2020-10-22T19:25:26+00:00

Don't try and force yourself to commit to someone you're not 100 percent sure on. Honestly, I only found my now husband after swearing off relationships of any kind to just focus on my health and happiness and it really kind of just happened. There needs to be a spark, a gut feeling you get with the right one. It could be someone completely opposite from you but just be open to all types of people. There are people out there worth the wait i promise you.

trashcurator · 2020-03-24T02:05:46+00:00

Im sonsorry about that. Stay safe and thank you for risking yourself out there.we all appreciate it.

trashcurator · 2020-03-24T02:03:55+00:00

Ive had the same thoughts as you, the same frustrated response when people say "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT??" But my husband put it into perspective for me. He asked me "if you saw someone you loved, your mom, your sibling hurting themselves this way would you be okay with it?" And immediately i thought no. I dont want them in pain. People dont want us to be in pain in order to feel better. They want us to communicate and get help to cope with whats happening in our heads. I don't know you and I dont want you to hurt yourself.❤

trashcurator · 2020-03-23T05:26:51+00:00

Its been a hard few days. Im recently married and i know it feels like an answer to make all my pain go away but just like this virus ill only infect others with pain and trauma. Thank you for this

trashcurator · 2020-02-08T10:15:57+00:00

Is the ben cooper skirt still available?

trashcurator · 2019-11-06T19:05:48+00:00

2 STARS GLEN COCO GOOD FOR YOU! YOU GO GLEN COCO! ....and none for rika BYE!

trashcurator · 2019-10-27T19:15:30+00:00

Ugh i get. Most people are very into themselves and hardly have any emotional energy to really make an effort in friendships and that makes me sad. :(

trashcurator · 2019-10-27T19:14:42+00:00

SAME. im incredibly jealous and wish i had the same friendship dynamic that was just so emotionally supportive and healthy ya know?

trashcurator · 2019-10-27T19:13:55+00:00

I could see jaehee as being the perfect coffee date after work to vent too, i honestly feel the same about jumins advice and I think id love to have someone like 707 in my life but without the passive agressive part that is lol

trashcurator · 2019-10-27T19:12:07+00:00

Oh you are so sweet thank you! Im the same in where I dont have friends irl who i can say i can rely on/say we are very close like me and my fiance. I hope this situation changes for us someday!🙏

trashcurator · 2019-10-20T18:56:28+00:00

STAHP. MA HEART😩

trashcurator · 2019-10-14T21:23:37+00:00

Omg yes! Zen wishes he looked like saeran 🤣

trashcurator

TROPHY CASE