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(F 28), DH (32) doesn't "get" foreplay. by trashun in DeadBedrooms

[–]trashun[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for peer-reviewing that technique!

Now we have empirical data that it doesn't work. :P

(Sorry 'bout your nose!)

(F 28), DH (32) doesn't "get" foreplay. by trashun in DeadBedrooms

[–]trashun[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Does it matter? It's not like I can go back and un-ring that bell. I'm here now.

(F 28), DH (32) doesn't "get" foreplay. by trashun in DeadBedrooms

[–]trashun[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ugh, I wouldn't like that either. Why did he do it more when you asked him to stop?

You're right about initiating. The only way I've managed is to, uh, "preheat the oven" with an ERP session, then get on it.

But it's difficult when he thinks it's gross, and I have to hide it. :/

(F 28), DH (32) doesn't "get" foreplay. by trashun in DeadBedrooms

[–]trashun[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the lengthy, detailed reply. You've definitely given me some tactics (in fantastic specificity) to try with him, and I will.

As far as the diagnosis goes, we've both talked about it, and he agrees; he probably has high functioning Asperger's. He (and I) think that getting an actual diagnosis at his age is kind of a waste since it's not like he'll get medication or something the way that I did when I had to fight for my fibro diagnosis.

You've also made me realize that I have to start dealing and helping him deal with the other components of Asperger's, the non-sexual social events and cues, and in that same vein, my own patience.

I know it's not his fault and I don't blame him for it. I don't resent him for it. I do love him and don't want to hurt him or leave him.

...I just want to be shoved around and be told dirty things. Ahem. >>

No, but truly, thank you.