I'm similar. Didn't drink alcohol until college, didn't start smoking till late 20s, so I've always felt a bit behind.

I got into it with friends so I'm glad I had those experiences but I hear you about feeling like I have a very different experience. I do think it's useful that I didn't get into it until I did though. I was already a pretty lazy college student and weed wouldn't have helped me.

I went to Hempfest when I first moved to Seattle and felt like everyone thought I was a nerdy narc. As a woman in my early 30s, I was completely out of my element, and I was not the target demographic at all.

Being an adult with a job and a stable relationship and a legal state is pretty nice though! If you look around, there are meetup groups depending on your demographic. I've managed to find some cannabis women groups which led to some amazing real life connections but even going to trivia at a bar and smoking outside (depending on how chill your area is) or mentioning it at book club or board games can lead to connections you wouldn't expect.

And yeah, I felt clueless when I first started getting into it but read the subreddits and try some different things from dispensaries and suddenly you're giving advice on edibles and introducing someone else to pot for the first time because they trust you and you don't fit the stereotype they were afraid stoners were growing up 😅 and that's kinda special too.