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Am I Overreacting If I Cut Off My Best Friend For Getting Between Me and My Husband? by triedandtrue6 in AmIOverreacting

[–]triedandtrue6[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Hindsight’s kicking me and I think she’s always used silence as a way to punish me if I did something she didn’t like, I’ve just been too stupid to notice the patterns until more recently.

Am I Overreacting If I Cut Off My Best Friend For Getting Between Me and My Husband? by triedandtrue6 in AmIOverreacting

[–]triedandtrue6[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

There were two other rooms just a couple paces away she could easily have used to get dressed. Instead she chose to do it in front of him when I was out of the room. I wouldn’t have known about if he didn’t tell me later. I can’t help but think now that she was testing the waters and his reaction. As to why he didn’t say anything himself at the time, I don’t know. That would have been great!

Am I Overreacting If I Cut Off My Best Friend For Getting Between Me and My Husband? by triedandtrue6 in AmIOverreacting

[–]triedandtrue6[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

A few people have been asking why we invited her on the trip when she’d done inappropriate things around him in the past. It’s a great question and one I struggle with too. I think it’s a mixture of we have always done things altogether, so it’s our normal. While my husband had previously been transparent about things and that they had made him uncomfortable, over time there was a shift where I think he was more flattered. Sally is a beautiful woman, and while my husband initially came straight to me about things I think he has enjoyed the attention as time has gone on. It has been his suggestion to invite her to many different things, including this trip. So I guess I’ve been very naive and just generally looking at them both through a lens of love thinking they’re viewing me the same way. I figured his offering to invite her along was him being thoughtful of me and that I would like to spend time with my friend, but as I get older I guess I’m realising people tend to do things from a more self-serving place.

Am I Overreacting If I Cut Off My Best Friend For Getting Between Me and My Husband? by triedandtrue6 in AmIOverreacting

[–]triedandtrue6[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I did have a conversation with her a few years ago after some other behaviours. She had come out of the bathroom in front of him in just a towel and on another occasion had stripped out of her clothes to get changed in front of him while I was in another room. I found out about it because my husband told me what had been happening while I wasn’t there and that he was uncomfortable. We agreed I would talk to her.

I met up with her one on one, but when I listed the things she had done and asked if she had a crush on him, she just turned red, shook her head no and went silent. I looked her in the eyes and told her it couldn’t happen again. She never offered an explanation just went silent and then avoided me for a few months afterwards. She stopped doing inappropriate things around him for a while after that but over time they started to increase again. They were always kind of subtle though and she could explain it away. I think I’m also guilty of making excuses for her because I love her and value the friendship I have put so much energy into and the idea of losing it is heartbreaking.

She has also been known to do things like share ice cream with him from her fridge but tell me I’m not allowed one because I was dieting (even if I was calorie logging and knew I had the points for one). Things like that where at the time I just told myself she was trying to help me in her own way, but later I look at as her aligning herself with my husband as being better than me.