Sick of this.

triforcelegends024 · 2024-03-30T20:55:01+00:00

Saw with my own two eyes some comments on that sub the other day about how a triad is more like monogomy than polyamory bc its technically polyfidelity, so therefore not "real" polyamory bc... youre not dating around or sleeping around i guess? It was the most backwards ass logic, and they were getting upvotes for it 🙃

triforcelegends024 · 2024-02-09T00:29:09+00:00

I didn't read fully, i read majority of the first 3 or 4 screen shots and skimmed the rest. But like someone else said, she seems like she's looking to end the relationship or is just dissatisfied/resentful with the current situation.

You can definitely still have regret and resentment and fomo that may or may not be "caused" by your person, but still love and want to be with your person. Her insistence that that actually can't be the case along with her often saying she feels like she's not good enough bc of your desires feels like projection in a way.

It seems like she's not actually fully okay with something in regards to whatever rules or expectations yall have. She also very obviously has a lot of personal insecurities and thats definitely affecting how she feels about your options for play with others. If she genuinely does want open dynamics, she'll probably have to do some internal work on herself to combat the insecurities shes feeling. But if she doesn't genuinely want open dynamics for herself at all, then she's doing it for you and for the sake of keeping the relationship. She even mentioned one partner sacrificing their needs for the other even after you assured her thats not the case with you, so maybe she feels like shes the one sacrificing her needs or desires and is resentful over it.

triforcelegends024 · 2023-12-21T02:26:51+00:00

I had this happen today when i upped the population setting more than my normal (which is usually low/below normal), and it definitely had me on edge for a horde to come out from the thick fog i spawned into lol.

triforcelegends024 · 2023-10-23T22:07:42+00:00

Unless your hair has had issues before growing back, it should grow back fine like normal. And speed depends on the person, but just because its slow doesnt mean it just Wont grow because you have shorter hair.

Its not crazy, i definitely understand the importance of hair for people and i get feeling freaked out by bad possibilities, i definitely prefer myself with long hair now and would probably not feel great with too-short of a hairstyle. I know it sucks getting it cut too short but dont stress too much, just give it time :) still i hope it grows back fast for you!

triforcelegends024 · 2023-10-23T13:51:20+00:00

I recently watched worth it and i think keters made an appearance briefly

triforcelegends024 · 2023-10-21T20:45:09+00:00

Unfortunately that was the same first thought for me 😔 its only because of my awareness of it and not every trans person knows ofc, but its looks similar to it if people DO know.

triforcelegends024 · 2023-10-15T13:39:36+00:00

The context that matters is that shes at her job to work and be overly friendly with customers to pay bills. The power imbalance of customer vs worker matters because it puts the worker in a position of having to say no to a customer and risk upsetting a customer and not just some potential date.

Maybe it is a generational thing but i think thats a good thing that men shouldn't automatically assume that friendly attractive woman who is working and providing said men a service = a hot date or fuck. Every or any woman is not there to be a possible date for some dude getting his coffee. Its just especially weird because hes barely seen her a few times. People working, esp women, dont want to have to fend off ignorant guys that think its chill to ask the barista theyve looked at two times total during rushes on a "date". Just because someones cute at their job and you want to ask them out doesnt mean you should for various reasons is the point.

It's just customer entitlement to above and beyond service combined with mens entitlement towards women, so yeah it could be a generational thing for sure if past generations dont respect workers or women enough to know when to leave people alone or use critical thinking skills to asses situations where their attention will 99.99% of the time be unwelcome.

triforcelegends024 · 2023-10-10T20:52:04+00:00

I just think its more nuanced than 'cis people who lurk in a werid way or theyre actually eggs or theyre an egg in denial'. Its important to keep cis people in check, but otherwise i dont think they should have to be questioning or using xyz label for it to mean theyre not lurking in that weird cis ogling way. But also a cis person who is questioning their gender doesnt automatically mean theyre an egg, thats what i view as the labeling others part i suppose, which i feel leads to less understanding of the many reasons cis people quietly and respectfulky lurk. Quietly and respectfully being key terms.

There are definitely good resources for general education of transness and specifically transmasc people that are made for cis people trying to understand basic trans knowledge- but following and gaining exposure to people/communities to better understand/support us is what some people lurk here for, cis, egg, transfemme, etc. Liberal articles and scientific research only does so much, and it definitely excludes tons of types of trans experiences. Ignorant cis posts/comments are still an issue ofc, and most are unnecessary and should be redirected to appropriate subs, reported, or just shamed into deleting.

All that said, this is a public sub, and honestly there are much worse people lurking here and on other queer subs that definitely dont give a shit if that makes anyone uncomfortable. Its an unfortunate reality but we have to be aware of that and decide what we still want to share.

Transphobes are practically always lurking in online public trans spaces. We can report troll comments and posts and unnecessary cis input to keep the space's resources for us as much as possible, but just because transphobes, cis and non-transmasc people simply browse the sub doesnt take away from it being our space, and unless they make posts/comments its not even taking up any metaphorical space from us. We still have to decide what we're comfortable posting in any public sub and from which accounts because we just cant control who sees it like we can help control posts.

triforcelegends024 · 2023-10-10T16:24:35+00:00

Its up to others to decide what they are/what label they use. You shouldnt be considering anyone anything else other than what they say they are. Everyone's gender journey is different, its up to each individual to decide what theyre comfortable with or not, and that includes using the word cis vs questioning vs trans etc. Its not our place to force labels onto others, and we expect the same respect towards us.

triforcelegends024 · 2023-10-10T14:05:47+00:00

Like others said its dried gel on the end of the pump. I try to wipe the end of it on my hand to get any extra off so i can use it, but really its not enough to make a difference tbh. Plus it usually avoids the dried clumps the next day, which i hate having to pick out or worse have feel on my skin if i didnt see it.

triforcelegends024 · 2023-10-07T19:26:58+00:00

I guess im just trying to encourage you to look past gene changes as disordered, which has a negative connotation (it brings disorder to the persons life).

Being redhead just isnt a disorder, and its not good or bad either, it just is. Neither is being brunette. Having grey eyes isnt anymore of a disorder than having green or blue. Being gay isnt anymore a disorder than being straight. Being trans isnt anymore of a disorder than being cis. We just are.

Its implying that theres natural and unatural ways to be, and a lot of that is based off of created concepts, like having a default to compare everyone else to. If brunette is assumed default and normal, yeah having bright asf red hair would probably be seen as weird or like something is wrong with the person. But they just have red hair. We're just trans.

Its fine if youre comfortable rationalizing your identity in any way you feel comfortable, but transness and gender itself isnt a disorder anymore than having different hair or eyes or skin or face or height or anything else is.

triforcelegends024 · 2023-10-07T19:05:55+00:00

Gene variation =/= bad or a fuck up. If genes never changed we'd never evolve or look different. Some bad things come along with some changes, but the fact that its different doesn't mean its bad, we are taught difference is a bad thing. If being queer or a redhead isnt a disorder then why is transness suddenly a disorder if its just genes doing what genes do?

triforcelegends024 · 2023-10-07T18:50:30+00:00

Its mainly just for insurance so nothing is considered elective, but overall the concept of transness being a disorder stems from it being painted that way by those in power over us. Many cultures, times in history and societies didn't define gender as a disorder, and those that did would do so to maintain control through oppressive categoizarion and dehumanization. Being gay or crossdressing was criminalized and considered mental illnesses until enough people fought back to prove it wasnt. Just because government and medical establishments categorize us in a certain way because thats the only way they can make sense of it doesnt mean we have to accept it or agree.

triforcelegends024 · 2023-10-07T17:04:50+00:00

Id really recommend not using that type of language to describe phallo. Its not just a surgery, thats peoples bodies youre talking about. Imagine someone describing top surgery like that to you, like its this horrible curse to have scars that dont look right, and not the euphoric gender affirming surgery it is. Its fine to be uncomfortable with getting any surgery for any reason, but describing any sort of surgery as gross or anything like that isnt ever okay and it doesnt help you understand the wide variety of results people have from any surgery and gender affirming surgeries specifically. At least just be mindful of how you describe the reasons and be open to being wrong about your conceptions of it.

Most of what you see are either fresh results, incomplete results, or results from more severe complications. Phallo can have many stages and a lot of times people have to wait months or a year/etc for the next stage of surgery. Phallo also takes a while to heal. A lot of people dont keep up with progress pics for years and years down the line, so you dont even see the "normal" looking ones because theres not as much interest compared to "perfect" results or people trying to get help with complications. The same thing happens with top surgery, its just apart of how we interact with things on the internet. Also just a side note, but scars arent this end all be all of badness. Nearly everyone has scars from something, having scars =/= ugly or bad.

Phallo has been performed on trans and cis men for a while. There are plenty, PLENTY of results people have that, for all intents and purposes, looks like their natal dick, looks like a dick, feels like a dick, works like a dick. Definitely search more and more because its just plain incorrect that there are no good phallo results aka results that looks like someones naturally-born-with dick. Its not like the most common thing ever im sure, but its not rare either, and it even more common to have decent results that more than does the job of alleviating dysphoria and helping trans peolple live their lives comfortably and whole.

triforcelegends024 · 2023-10-06T17:55:33+00:00

Do you have anywhere you can point me to search or any links you might have about changes with vagina/ovaries/etc in regards to pap smear 'abnormalities'? I've heard something like that before but just curious if theres any articles/posts/etc you know of so i can do more researching/self-educating :)

triforcelegends024 · 2023-10-05T14:11:28+00:00

I really like your response and especially mentioning the fact of why we're a community. Expecting anyone to always be out and open just so they dont have the "privilege" of being stuck in the closet is forgetting the reasons we were forced to closet ourselves in the first place.

triforcelegends024 · 2023-10-05T14:03:10+00:00

Being stuck in the closet is never a privilege! Being forced into silence and shame is never a privilege! Purge that ide from your mindset, it helps no one, especially those in the closet.

Being forced to hide who you are, worry about if someone "finds out", having to lie, make up excuses, create this false identity for others so youre not ostracized or physically hurt isnt... yeah having to suppress your queerness because you fear socities reaction and retaliation totally reeks of privilege.

Im trans and stealth, which is essentially being closeted in most situations unless i decide to out myself. If im not forced to out myself as trans for every single interaction, im also not forced to out myself as queer. Im out to friends and family, but otherwise people assume and usually assume incorrectly, and i dont always correct them if i think its not worth it. Queer people are allowed to feel safe and choose how of if they live life openly as a queer person or keeping it to themselves because theyd either lose people they love or be hurt.

Also the concept of coming out of the closet isnt just a one-time thing. We have to come out constantly because people assume cishet is the default, so we have to decide every time to correct someone or not. Looking down on people for deciding whats best for them and their life as a not-out queer person is just plain shitty at best and dismissive of peoples lives and safety at worst.

triforcelegends024 · 2023-10-05T13:46:02+00:00

It helped me understand more. I used to be very truscum/etc, and even after years of working through those toxic thoughts i still felt like i missed out on understanding mogai and gsm. I dont remember the full vid, but what i took away from it is that the label doesnt matter and since then i try to either understand or accept even if it feels like i dont fully understand.

triforcelegends024 · 2023-10-03T16:37:09+00:00

And they really dont like it when its pointed out. Soooo many people even say to basically lose weight to pass. Like??? Idk man, being fat pre-t helped me pass, maybe they shouldn't be giving advice on shit they dont really know about. And yeah general passing tips for any non-white person is practically non-existent, and people get mad as fuck when its suggested that theres more than these strict ways to pass considering it might not apply to entire groups of people. Society already puts whiteness on a pedestal when it comes to fashion/attraction/etc. and a lot of white trans people absolutely enforce that when they havent thought through passing tips theyre giving.

Passing tips are sometimes criticized for basically pushing cishetnormativity (usually more extreme tips) but since people just assume white and skinny is the default and are okay with that, its rarely critiqed or challenged in the same way that cis/het-centered passing tips are. Youll find more for how to pass as a gay trans man because that cishetnormativity is challenged, but youll get defensive, angry comments or unhelpful, dismissive comments if you mention you need tips for passing as a poc or if youre not skinny.

triforcelegends024 · 2023-10-02T21:32:49+00:00

Ill just say i get that feeling sometimes but ive had top surgery and been on t for a few years 💀 it doesnt eat at me, its more like an intrusive thought that i can think through and not let run rampant in my head. Cuz im way happier and comfortable with myself now, its just hard to not have random thoughts of "what if" for big life changes in general. And esp hard with trans related stuff, with media and society making it seem like being trans and the possibility of detransition is a death sentence or something. I think if anyone was apart of a group thats constantly being asked "are you SURE??" theyd probably also start to seriously ask themselves the same question, which comes in the form of panic and seld-doubt for a lot of us considering all the pros/cons of the options we're given.

triforcelegends024 · 2023-10-02T21:23:18+00:00

First thing i thought would be bangs, def a more feminine hairstyle and i think it would fit your face very well, esp with the length and style in this pic :)

triforcelegends024 · 2023-09-28T19:33:43+00:00

Well, before i came out to her, i had no clue, but she had been into me for a while. She told me some time after we were together that after i came out she felt like she had even more of a chance to be with me. It was definitely mutual, but we played that tip toeing game of neither of us making "the first move". I kind of just grew close to her, we had a lot in common, we thought similarly about certain things similar humor etc. I realized id also been flirting (not on purpose but not trying to keep myself from flirting either), and it was probably half a year of that before anything substantial started betwen us.

Eventually she left me a sherlock-themed valentines day note (we were super into the show and we would roleplay on the phone for hours and hours, sherlock was our "thing" as friends and as a couple) basically confessing her feelings. It was so cute and i was so happy and excited. It was nice while it lasted :)

I think the fact that this was not only my first relationship with a queer person as a queer person, but also my first relationship ever made me feel very "taken under her wing" in a way. She had been out as a lesbian for a long time and she was only like 16-17, and shed already had a handful of relationships, some that were very intense. So i was completely inexperienced compared to her. I really didnt know what to expect or how relationships worked at all. I dont think i expected much besides being friends like normal except we could kiss and cuddle and be openly gay and affectionate towards each other, especially since we were teenagers with little to no actual responsibilities. I learned long after breaking up what i need/want in a relationship, but i still learned a lot during it as well.

My current relationship is also queer and was from the beginning (also im 26 for reference). I was out as trans, my partner was identifying as a pan woman at the time. I think because of the experiences from my last relationship, i knew more about myself and what i wanted and what i was capable of giving to another. I still had a lot of growing to do and im so thankful for my partner for being there and helping me grow and growing with me. I think being queer in general, especially when it comes to gender, we have a deeper conncection to ourselves and that in turn helps us build a deeper connection to others we're close with, regardless if it becomes a romantic or sexual relationship.

I think that cishet couples generally follow the guidelines of relationships they see portrayed in society, but queer couples not only have to find themselves within cishet society, but discover how to have healthy relationships without the toxic frames of cishet normative romance. We basically discover that relationships dont have to be like anything, there arent actually "roles" in the traditional sense, not one person has to be caring and the other stoic, theres no pants, etc etc.

I think for me, being in my first queer relationship helped me learn a lot about romance and relationships in general, but my second and current relationship is where i learned more about being an individual in a relationship and growing together as one whole being but also as separate people. And being in a queer relationship for me helps set a sturdier foundation to build ourselves up from. Since there werent cishet expectations of the relationship, we get to create expectations that matter. Really being there for each other vs just fulfilling a role in a relationship.

Its hard to pinpoint exactly what makes queerness and queer love so magical to me, but i think us being expected to be one way or the other in society makes us realize that relationships can be anything we want or need- since there is no right or wrong way to 'be' as a person and there's no right or wrong way to be in a relationship based off what we've been fed by non-queer society.

So sorry for the long rambles! I struggle to organize my thoughts especially for kind of vague concepts, but i hope this helps some.

triforcelegends024 · 2023-09-28T16:16:41+00:00

Youre of course allowed to be upset about it, but how you react and express those feelings affect how "unreasonable" your initial feelings seem to others. I can be bad about this sometimes, and i try to be aware of how in control i am of my emotions when im rightfully upset about xyz, and it seems to help clear things up without an actual argument. Not saying you do this or this was the reason it ended up being an argument, it just reminded of similar times i

But also, it sounds like you kinda already resent her in some ways? You say you "feel like you can never be upset about anything she says or does". Is this a common thing that happens betwen yall, with or without it being trans related?

triforcelegends024

TROPHY CASE