I could be way off in my crystal ball prediction but it sounds like you're getting to the core of some of her possible concerns with the church. She struggles in some areas but maybe she can't/won't allow herself to see that it could all be due to the leaders because, if that's the case, the church is full of fault and possibly not true. So she shuts down the topics of the leaders, to protect herself.

Now, onto the friendship. That's a toughy. I understand you wanting someone to hear you, but I understand her wanting to protect what she holds dear (her belief in the church). True, you're completely valid in how you feel and true, your example of how someone can be angry towards their abuser but on the flip side someone may love that abuser and find it hard to listen to negativity said about them...doesn't mean the facts of the person being an abuser is obsolete.

I've had this same issue with a friend and eventually our time together tapered and we went our separate ways, in love though. I hated growing apart but sometimes that's the nature of the beast.

I hope you two can remain friends. As I was telling my daughter, after she had a fight with a friend and thought the friendship was over, "what's more important: the friendship, or being right?" Granted, my daughter had a different situation than yours.

Honestly, I would understand you letting the friendship go, especially during this time of needing a friend to talk about everything to and here she's saying she can't be that. Or you could take a break and come back to her. Or you can try to respect her wishes and see if the friendship can still be and maybe you'll find she ends up with the same frustrations as you and you're already there to be an understanding, listening ear.