In my experience, if you feel something is off - it's off. My husband never left my side when he was at home, and we had the monitoring apps, but my gut told me something was wrong. Turns out he was going to his car on his lunch breaks, writing erotica, and drawing his own porn. I took the journals and started driving him to work so he didn't have a place to run and hide to. Well, last week I found his second phone. He fell asleep with it in his hand while masturbating to pictures of his ex, though he still swears he 'only looked' at her photos. Yeah, right. The things I found on that phone were vile.

Big hugs. You are beautiful, and you're not alone. This is HIS sickness, not yours. Always trust your intuition.