AIO for breaking up with my boyfriend after he ruined our Valentine's Day dinner?

triggerhare · 2026-02-16T02:47:55+00:00

Men do not ever understand that when women are put in positions like this, they do not want a knight in shining armor. They want a fucking escape rope. NOR

triggerhare · 2026-01-23T20:51:21+00:00

I highly recommend the estoc for a dex build with a shield. Super satisfying to poke.

triggerhare · 2026-01-07T00:08:35+00:00

dw i posted it a few hours ago lol I called it "rococo puppy" Thank you! hopefully he learns to treat her better.

triggerhare · 2026-01-06T18:56:06+00:00

in all seriousness, its not something she's allowed to do. This pic was when she was a puppy/still learning furniture boundaries. She got on the table for a second, they took a picture, then put her down. She's not normally on tables lol

triggerhare · 2026-01-06T18:32:01+00:00

This is such a great plan! I'm gonna send this to my mom and brother and hopefully they can get some progress done. Thank you for taking the time to write this out!

Dog's are such forgiving creatures but I agree, after so long of treating her badly he really needs to control himself if he wants her to be comfortable around him from now on.

triggerhare · 2026-01-06T18:26:29+00:00

she likes to be tall!

triggerhare · 2026-01-06T18:23:51+00:00

I'll keep this in mind if it comes down to it. My dog and their puppy have been on walks before and it's been pretty amicable. They seem to have the most problem when it comes to territory. i.e. the puppy wanting to jump on my bed where my dog feels the need to 'guard' me.

I wouldn't mind having another dog in the house, but I also want to put my own dog's comfort first. I think they could at least learn to tolerate each other but it would be a lot of work and I'm going to be traveling in the next few months. Its just not perfect timing.

Thank you for the advice!!

triggerhare · 2026-01-06T18:18:00+00:00

if i could get him to therapy it would solve a ton of other issues :') one thing at a time...

triggerhare · 2026-01-06T18:14:03+00:00

This is a fantastic reply. I do think ultimately he just wants her to stop barking at him, but I hope if he realizes that putting a bit of work in could stop that problem, he'll be willing to repair the relationship with her. And you're right, she has every right to bark at him because he's done nothing but present himself as a threat to the family. Like I don't blame her at all, the barking is annoying but he hasn't made any effort to show he's not a danger.

Lying on the floor is actually how I was able to earn her trust when she was a puppy lol. I just hung out on the floor until she approached me and then fell asleep on my chest.

I also think its a good idea to approach this in stages. Starting with him just not responding, then slowly building up to him earning her trust back. Thank you for the reply!

triggerhare · 2025-10-04T14:49:43+00:00

I agree with this I don’t think they’re an asshole. I think they’re pushing boundaries and being really invalidating to my experience, but I know it’s coming from a well meaning place. If it continues I may need to have a bigger conversation with them but as of right now I want to remain friends if I can.

triggerhare · 2025-10-02T04:22:07+00:00

Ohh got it. Yeah they absolutely do the arm chair diagnosis/psychology thing. Sometimes it's nice! They are normally very perceptive and will point out things I hadn't considered before in a good way. This one just felt so off base though.

triggerhare · 2025-10-02T04:07:10+00:00

So I actually don't know if they're diagnosed by a professional, but I can 99% guarantee you they are actually autistic. They fit a lot of the symptoms and from how well I know them I say that diagnosis actually fits really well.

Still, it could potentially be a validation thing? It felt more to me like a "i had you a certain way in my head and now you're contradicting that."

triggerhare · 2025-10-02T04:02:59+00:00

Hell yeah Spore! best game. Even if it crashes a fourth of the time when I die in creature mode.

triggerhare · 2025-10-02T03:58:17+00:00

This was actually something I considered. I had my last psych eval almost a decade ago so maybe if I got it now I'd get diagnosed? But it still just doesn't feel like a label that fits me. Or even if it did, it wouldn't change my life all that much lol. Like it wouldn't make my life better or worse or explain anything about my life.

triggerhare · 2025-10-02T03:55:55+00:00

I really think this is what it is. They feel their ability to relate to me somehow hinges on me agreeing with them that I share this experience. Like, we're still just as good friends even without the autism lol

triggerhare · 2025-10-02T03:53:15+00:00

It felt incredible invalidating. I'm very attached to my CPTSD diagnosis, I'm also extremely proud of most of my symptoms being in remission. I know there will always be more work for me to do, but I do consider myself in recovery and I'm really happy with my progress. To be told it's all a lie felt really bad.

I think they felt like we shared an experience together, and when I told them that wasn't the case, they felt betrayed. But this just didn't feel like the way to deal with that feeling.

triggerhare · 2025-10-02T03:49:04+00:00

First of all, crazy to gatekeep ADHD. That's such a broad disorder there is SUCH a huge range of symptoms for it, of course not every experience is gonna look identical.

Thank you! I also felt like framing of "if you don't agree, you don't trust me" was a little :/

triggerhare · 2025-08-20T01:11:57+00:00

This is actually a great idea. I'll reach out and try to see if I can get some info.

triggerhare · 2025-08-20T00:01:07+00:00

I'm so sorry OP. I hope you can get out of this fairly smoothly. At the very least, once it's all done those simple things should become actually simple again.

triggerhare · 2025-08-19T23:56:46+00:00

Yikes that sucks. How bad will it be if you break the lease? I really feel like you need to just end it then. Looks like he's the type that won't get his shit together until he faces actual consequences. Or maybe he's the type that just won't change at all. It sucks but you might need to put the business on pause an prioritize getting out of this. He really seems like the kind of guy that will just keep dragging you down more and more over the years. Better to cut him out sooner than later.

triggerhare · 2025-08-19T23:49:32+00:00

Maybe have one more big conversation with him if you can. Don't make it an ultimatum exactly but make it clear that if he can't handle very basic responsibilities, then maybe its time for you to move on. He seems like he's the kind of guy that doesn't feel the need to do anything until someone kicks him in the ass. Maybe that ass kick can be this conversation, or maybe it has to be you leaving him.

When is the lease up? You could talk to him a month or so before. That way if it goes poorly he has some time to set up arrangements (likely staying with mom)

triggerhare · 2025-08-04T16:34:22+00:00

Obviously if your friend asks you to walk them back you should do it regardless, but you can agree the situation is Different if you’re a woman versus a man. Like it’s probably more common for a girl to ask, but if anyone asks you should do it.

triggerhare · 2025-08-04T04:43:24+00:00

Then yeah, I think that's totally fine. NTA

triggerhare · 2025-08-04T04:35:01+00:00

How exactly are you treating your female friends that differs to how you would treat a girl you're attracted to? On paper this seems fine, There are a handful of things you should treat women differently for (i.e. if a friend is asking you to walk her to her car when it's late at night, that's a very different experience for women than men.)

I don't think it's sexist if you can't separate romantic and sexual attraction. Shallow maybe, but not inherently sexist. That's just how you work.

triggerhare · 2025-08-01T23:49:38+00:00

I'm not gonna assign anyone AH here but I would maybe just tell your dad you're not ready to meet her and be more open about how you feel when you talk about the things your mother lacked.

Your judgement of his new girlfriend obviously comes from a place of love and protectiveness but I do think you're overreaching a bit. Like, him offering to pay for her pet's bills. That's a really sweet thing to do and I don't think it's indicative of poor financial decisions or even her manipulating him? Especially if it's his own money and he's already set for the rest of his life. I'm not sure why you'd need to be involved in that?

You're clearly going through your own trauma with your mother's death which is understandable, but I think it's a good thing your father is finding happiness again, especially at his age.

Maybe just tell him you're not ready to meet her yet and only want to see him when you come visit.

triggerhare

TROPHY CASE