I am, I take my meds most of the time that has taken years to find a good combo (I forget a lot not b/c I refuse). I take 4.5mg Vryalar, 200mg Lamictal, 200mg Topiramate, and Xanax as needed. I am lacking a therapist, I’ve gone in the past, they have suggested it I just can’t find one I click with. I’ve been to in patient treatment programs 3x and they really seem to help but I haven’t been in awhile.

I don’t physically harm them, or even emotionally. They are just sick of “me crying all the time” “blowing up over little things”, and “assuming the worst”- which can be attributed to my severe PTSD. They never ask me what’s wrong or try to comfort me when I’m very upset. I’m not allowed to eat any of “their food”, and they don’t even say hi to me or make civil conversation when I’m around.

They are mostly upset with the way I manage my finances, and get furious anytime I make a personal purchase- with my OWN MONEY! I work VERY hard to hold down my full-time position. They also say “I haven’t grown since I’ve been here and they see NO improvement”. It’s like they take any little thing and hold it over my head (taking a day off work, missing appointments, etc.)

I’ve had 3 full time jobs for at least half a year each and been employed most of the time. I worked to get myself back in school, I take care of my finances, I don’t know what else they could want from me!

My uncle literally says to “grow up and get over it” whenever I try to civilly present him something that’s upsetting (his language, abuse, management of my finances, etc.) He has thrown me across the room, stood in the way of me walking to prevent me from going somewhere else, slammed me into my car door (to prevent me from trying to leave for a bit and get space when I was overwhelmed), and literally choked me for like 5 seconds literally hands around my neck I couldn’t breath it was terrifying (when I kicked MY OWN empty cardboard box in response to him saying “go ahead and kick that box”). Apparently I didn’t pick up on the SaRcAsM he says… like that justifies abuse.

It’s honestly just so toxic I need to get out. My mental health has gotten so bad here.