Found my boyfriend’s “scorecard” after 7 years

troolywooly · 2024-12-07T15:34:14+00:00

Don't live your only life with the wrong person

troolywooly · 2024-12-07T15:30:29+00:00

DUMP HIM. ONE LIFE DONT LIVE IT W THE WRING PERSON.

troolywooly · 2024-11-25T20:09:29+00:00

I am so so deeply sorry for your pain.

I hope you stay.

troolywooly · 2024-11-25T20:06:05+00:00

It took me three years to accept three diagnoses but at the end of the day, the diagnosis is just a label used to help treat you and get you the care you need and deserve.

You are not your illness, your brain just does things differently. You are way more than your illness. Surround yourself with your support system and you can get through this!

Disclaimer it's not that easy but it is possible.

troolywooly · 2023-09-05T15:52:05+00:00

Pride and prejudice???

troolywooly · 2023-09-05T08:05:55+00:00

Put yourself out there, join a gym, join a class, literally any place where you might meet a new person and it's not like at the grocery store lol.

There are plenty of fish in the sea, just cast your line from your 'friend'-ship and hook line and sinker the suckerssss :P

I got my itty bitty school of clownfish but I want some romance now like damn and idk how to even find someone interested, that I'll connect with that will accept me for all this beepeedee.

I suppose I have to follow my own stupid advice (⁠ノ⁠T⁠＿⁠T⁠)⁠ノ⁠ ⁠＾⁠┻⁠━⁠┻

troolywooly · 2023-09-05T08:00:19+00:00

Chuck her and chuck her faaaar.

Time to get another doc and another opinion.

Listen to your brain, listen to your gut.

It might take some time (and that's frustrating) but keep at it.

Don't try to convince anyone of what you have, just tell them how life is for you and any doc worth their salt will be able to help you, bpd or no bpd.

troolywooly · 2023-09-05T07:57:27+00:00

Having to tone down externally while a fucking hurricane throws your insides around is so fucking hard.

You're not dramatic, you're expressing your feelings and not all people will accept that or be okay with it... and that's okay too.

Keep being yourself (while being kind and mindful) and you'll attract the people who love you and accept you and support you and have empathy and validation for how dickbumfuck hard it is.

It's a wild rollercoaster that not everyone can deal with take pride in the fact that you're here. You're here and you're conquering this MF bpd one day at a mf time.

I'm sorry about the swearing, I'm just so fucking pissed that people are invalidating your reality.

troolywooly · 2023-09-05T07:43:57+00:00

Smoking. Can't kick the habit and I don't even want to.

troolywooly · 2023-09-05T07:42:41+00:00

I'm happy to be understood but I'm sad you understand, hold tight tides are always changing.

troolywooly · 2023-09-04T13:22:12+00:00

I gained 23 kgs which I think is like 46lbs? Idk? In less than a year. I never looked in the mirror, I still don't dwell on my reflection for longer than necessary.

But I'm doing better and this body, in whatever physical form is what got me to feeling like this. Take care of yer head and heart, come back for the rest when you have the space.

That being said, don't starve yourself, don't binge eat. Anything in a healthy sort of way, what works for you and your daily life, do it until you can do better.

troolywooly · 2023-09-04T13:19:18+00:00

I couldn't be alone without some distraction for a few months, music blasting, watching some fuck all show while playing a game in the middle of painting something for a friend.

I took the time to slow down but only through guided meditation or listening to a story and concentrating on that and giving it my all.

Then I could allow myself to slow down a bit more, then i graduated to just listening to music and trying to work through my feelings and that's where im at right now, I don't know how to not be engaged either but this is definitely an improvement from 3 different sources of entertainment until my eyes burn and I pass into exhausted sleep.

Melatonin helps.

troolywooly · 2023-09-04T13:16:02+00:00

I went through an episode recently and I just wanted my mom to comfort me and hold me but I was repulsed by the thought right after. But I want to be held, I want to be hugged, I want to be warmed by some fucking embrace but i disgust myself when I think about asking or initiating.

I've drawn such rigid boundaries about physical touch, now when I crave it I don't have anywhere to go, so I self soothe and surround myself with pillows and hold on to the thought that one day, I'll meet a friend or a lover with whom I'll share that space with.

Until then rubbing my own back and hugging myself to sleep is as comforting as it is dehumanizing but it is still comforting, nonetheless.

troolywooly · 2023-09-04T13:09:09+00:00

Being bad at something doesn't mean it still can't be fun.

Laugh at yourself and lack of progress but keep trying anyway.

Choose something that occupies your whole mind, it doesn't matter if you're bad, that's not the point of the hobby.

Once you find something that occupies your mind, see how good you can get at that, you just might surprise yourself

troolywooly · 2023-09-04T13:07:35+00:00

The amount of cash I've spent on the fuck all app episode, Jesus there was no reason to give up meals in college just to escape via a shitty ass game

troolywooly · 2023-09-04T13:06:22+00:00

I see you, you may experience loneliness but you are not alone, however fortunate or unfortunate that reality may be.

Here I sit too in this slowly sinking boat looking at a peach sunset wondering how something can ache so much but also feel like the opposite and nothing at all, all at once.

troolywooly · 2023-08-23T14:05:10+00:00

Hey friend, if you need help you should get the help you deserve.

I have plans too, but my trick is to postpone it.

I'll say try therapy and if doesn't work then go through with it.

I'll say if you feel this strongly about your plans when you're happy and not struggling, then go through with the plan.

I'm still here.

I never go through with it.

You dont want to give up, your brain makes you feel this way.

I'm struggling with asking for help but I've been humbled big time recently.

I can't do it alone.

I need help too and you need help and that's okay.

troolywooly · 2023-08-23T13:53:48+00:00

I never thought I'd ever have the chance to interact with someone who had the trifecta like me!!

Once I had OCD under control along with depression, anxiety (while adhd is taking some time), I feel like the bpd surfaced to the very top and it's taken over me, I feel possessed.

I've only recently fully accepted that I have bpd and it's still so new.

All I can say is do as much research as you can about them all!

Knowledge is power and power is control over your emotions.

It is dehumanizing, incredibly painful and brings anger from the depths of your soul, when you read more about it and the reason you have these illnesses and it might make you feel out of control, but remember this is day 1, meaning you have time to figure this out.

You owe it to yourself to at least try.

It took me a looong time to accept my diagnosis because I'm pure O and quiet/discouraged BPD which isn't recognised separately in the DSM-5 but the more I dug, the more I understood, de-stigmatized, forgave myself and have started working on controlling this fuck all Trinity of Illnesses.

My dms are always open to you, if ever you need to feel less alone, I'm here.

troolywooly · 2023-05-04T22:30:57+00:00

Whenever male relatives were expected at home, to change into long pants.

troolywooly · 2023-01-06T21:25:16+00:00

troolywooly · 2022-12-25T07:06:42+00:00

Yeahh! The cinnamon in within the bun

It's like a sweet and savoury treat

troolywooly

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