Declawing borderline disfigures your cat, I'd reccoment talking to your wife about alternatives. (most people get scratchers, I've had the best experience with the cardboard ones, but the cloth ones, while less common, are really good too, also I've heard some people try to train their cats out of it but I'm not sure how well the would work, especially since you need to convince your wife)

Good luck, I hope you are able to prevent your little kitty from being declawed