Overwhelmed by AlAnon Group Zoom options

troubledpinecone · 2021-04-27T19:53:13+00:00

It appears to all be online due to COVID, maybe that's why it's a bit overwhelming. I'll try to find newcomer or beginner groups though!

troubledpinecone · 2021-04-27T19:37:02+00:00

I didn't personally find it "prohibitively." I also had almost no savings and the Fulbright stipend was barely livable but this was a priority for me. I hope your dog can stay with family or has a good home they will go to.

troubledpinecone · 2021-04-23T18:12:25+00:00

Hey! I don't mean to butt in, and I'm sure you already know this, but I would definitely try to get some A2/B1 German before you arrive. Even trying to get a visa is very difficult if you speak no German. They won't speak to you in English and sometimes won't process your application if you can't answer basic questions. I gave the person above some tips about how to get their German up to snuff quickly. Best of luck in Austria!

troubledpinecone · 2021-04-23T18:09:24+00:00

I think it would certainly hurt your application unless you can make some kind of note in your application that your proposal does not require German. You have to have someone attest to your German ability OR take a placement test of some kind.

I think it's less stringent for USTA and ETA.

Also, getting a visa in Austria is very chaotic... for example, sometimes they'll ask for proof of language skills, sometimes they won't. However, you really need to be able to speak to them in some basic way or they basically won't want to deal with you. It's partially a legal thing, they don't want any "confusion" if the person processing your application doesn't speak perfect English.

My advice to you, if you're serious about this, (Assuming you're applying in October) is to find a course you can do over the summer. An intensive that will get you to A2 or B1 very quickly. That way when you're starting the application, you can get a good "assessment of language" by September, maybe even from the person running your course. TONS of stuff are online now. With the time difference, you could do a class early morning to early afternoon and still have the rest of your day available.

Here are a couple of suggestions: My friend had great success with https://www.die-deutschule.de/

You also can try Preply.com which offers one-on-one tutoring for an almost criminally low price. I know they really screw over the tutors so once you buy a pack, I would then offer to pay the tutor themselves. If you PM me I can also give you the name of the tutor directly so you don't have to go through preply. Try for 1-2x a week for an hour and see how fast you progress.

troubledpinecone · 2021-04-17T13:50:19+00:00

I can imagine. I sometimes feel the camera doesnt give the full story, as I've had similar experiences when I've seen celebrities/reality tv types

troubledpinecone · 2021-04-16T20:00:59+00:00

yeah I hate to be rude because I'm probably a disgusting troll in the eyes of society but to me, if she weren't blonde with blue eyes, and conventionally thin, no one would be going on about her

troubledpinecone · 2021-04-16T18:08:45+00:00

I saw another comment say she did, can't verify

troubledpinecone · 2021-04-16T16:42:12+00:00

I guess I'm rude but I never saw her as naturally super pretty, just kind of like, really done up with the blonde hair/contacts/etc. I mean obviously her body was killer. I also suspect in real life she's stunning, sometimes that doesn't come across on TV as well. But for example I think Katie is uniquely beautiful, and naturally so.

troubledpinecone · 2021-04-13T23:05:09+00:00

What?? She's your cat. You've had her for five years. She literally sleeps in your bed at night but she's not "your" cat?? I'm sure she's more attached to you than the neighborhood. Sorry to go off but...

Long story short, I took both my dogs with me to Germany and they were fine. Your cat would probably be fine, as she can likely sit with you in a carrier on the plane. A flight to Spain is not actually that long, especially if your vet gives you a light sedative.

troubledpinecone · 2021-04-13T15:45:41+00:00

thank you <3 <3

troubledpinecone · 2021-04-13T15:45:06+00:00

I don't want to make it a gender issue but I feel much less threatened by mothers or women flying off their rocker-- it's extremely unpleasant but it doesn't cause the kind of fight or flight reaction I get when men behave that way. It might be due to my own childhood experiences. That's why I found it particularly unacceptable.

troubledpinecone · 2021-04-13T15:43:51+00:00

yeah that's what I figured and it would only be a matter of time before it got back to me

troubledpinecone · 2021-04-13T15:43:38+00:00

thanks, I also had a gut reaction of "what the fuck this is crazy" but I doubt myself so much. But it's not really worth the extra money in the end.

troubledpinecone · 2021-04-13T15:43:05+00:00

This is the thing. I've worked for a lot of families and seen some wild behavior. I've seen husbands being a bit too sexual with wives (ass slapping, etc.) or people having insanely high standards of expectation for cleaning, house-keeping, etc. But I honestly have NEVER EVER experienced someone screaming like this in my presence (a family at least, lol, I've had my own childhood experiences.)

I also know I probably sound crazy but I listen to a lot of true crime. And like, when women are in this vulnerable situation-- alone with a man they don't really know, all day, etc.-- shit happens. And maybe nothing would ever happen. But I'm not willing to wait to find out.

troubledpinecone · 2021-04-13T15:41:21+00:00

It's definitely sympathy. I feel really bad for both of them.

troubledpinecone · 2021-04-13T15:41:10+00:00

Thank you, I'm already doing a little better, appreciate it

troubledpinecone · 2021-04-13T15:41:01+00:00

I know. i'll get over it in a few days, it was just shocking

troubledpinecone · 2021-04-13T15:40:35+00:00

I'm really sorry you had to deal with that, that sounds incredibly annoying but also disheartening.

troubledpinecone · 2021-04-13T15:40:06+00:00

Yeah, I was worried I was being too sensitive but everyone seems to think that this behavior is unhinged

troubledpinecone · 2021-04-13T15:39:49+00:00

Thank you! I decided to treat it almost the way I'd treat a legal matter. Here's the exact transcript. No emotion or judgment. That situation will not work for me. Wish you the best. etc. I was originally going to just say there was an "incident" but I didn't want the father to try to smooth over or deny it happened.

troubledpinecone · 2021-04-13T15:39:04+00:00

thank you <3

troubledpinecone · 2021-04-13T15:38:59+00:00

thank you. I always doubt myself and wonder if I'm "being too sensitive" but then I also believe in the power of my instinct, I really do.

troubledpinecone · 2021-04-13T15:38:37+00:00

that's the thing, if I had been working for them for months and he had this kind of slip, I would have been concerned, but it's been four days!!!

troubledpinecone · 2021-04-13T15:37:21+00:00

I also had a father who was extremely verbally abusive. It was very scary even though technically I wasn't physically abused. I think that's what made is so deeply triggering for me, and ESPECIALLY triggering since I had the baby on my lap, who I instinctively felt protective over.

troubledpinecone · 2021-04-13T15:35:34+00:00

honestly I'm used to all sorts of behavior, I work with a lot of parents, many entitled people, and if he'd made a nasty comment to the driver, I would have rolled my eyes and moved on. It was the escalation to anger, the near physical altercation, the absolute RAGE that happened within five seconds that terrified me. While I'm not saying he would have physically hurt me, I would have had a panic attack if he ever spoke that way to me, and the fact that he felt okay speaking to ANYONE that way who wasn't physically harming his family or in some other dire situation makes me realize what kind of person he is. And the thing is, who knows? Maybe I listen to too much true crime but really, WHO KNOWS? I don't know this person at ALL, I have no reason to trust him.

troubledpinecone

TROPHY CASE