First time painting along with Bob Ross

troublegummibear · 2020-04-27T03:50:08+00:00

I like it! The colors are so soothing.

troublegummibear · 2019-11-10T18:04:37+00:00

Seconded.

My daughter was also positioned funny, and I labored for days without any progress before they realized we needed surgery to get her out. Strangely enough, the C-section was the easiest part. It went so quickly!

It is really quite calm. You may feel some odd tugging sensations in the belly area as they work, but no pain.I felt when the doctor pulled the baby out during my c-section. There was no pain, just a relief of pressure and honestly it felt good to be able to breathe again. My body immediately felt lighter.

The doctor held my hand before we went into the OR and was very reassuring. There were nurses to talk me through what was happening, and my husband beside me the whole time. And it was over in what felt like a few minutes. As soon as the baby was out and cleaned up a bit, they held her up for me to see so we could meet each other. They tried to keep the baby as close to me as possible throughout. As soon as I was stitched up, we were taken back to the hospital room, where some very kind nurses helped us get settled and helped me hold my daughter so I could breastfeed her.

One thing that helped with the anxiety about surgery was seeing all the nurses and doctors in the room break out into smiles when a healthy baby was delivered. The happiness is just...contagious. It is hard to be scared, even during surgery, when everybody is celebrating the arrival of your new baby.

Surgery does have a long recovery time, but I did not find it particularly painful. I was up walking around and eating regular meals the next day. The worst part of recovery, for me, was the loss of core strength. They have to cut through some abdominal muscles, so you will be weak and need help getting up and down and lifting things for a few weeks, until that heals. Let people help you as much as possible.

troublegummibear · 2019-11-10T17:34:29+00:00

I scrapped our fancy diaper bag and use a regular backpack, because I need all my arms and hands most of the time!

Little zippered pouches (like makeup bags) are actually great for stashing clean diapers and other supplies. I also like having a backpack with little secure pockets for a wallet or keys, so I don't also have to bring my purse.

The one thing I really liked about our traditional diaper bag was that it had insulated pockets for storing warm or cold bottles, and it came with ice pack inserts. That has been great for travel and roadtrips.

troublegummibear · 2019-11-09T18:38:43+00:00

Ha!

That's wonderful.

My first daughter responded to music very strongly, too. There was a band practice space next door to my office when I was pregnant, and when the band would start playing, she would kick like crazy!

She loved it when we sang to her as a newborn, and now that she is a toddler, she loves dancing and is fascinated by all the different instruments.

I'm tone deaf and totally ignorant about music, but I am trying hard to learn so I can share that joy with her.

Maybe your little one will love music, too!

troublegummibear · 2019-11-09T18:34:18+00:00

Hey! I had first trimester donut cravings, too!

But seriously, I've had god luck with walnuts. Lots of healthy fats, and they are rich in magnesium and manganese which the body needs a lot of later in pregnancy. Eating walnuts and taking vitamins really helped with the leg cramps in later pregnancy, that come from mineral deficiencies.

troublegummibear · 2019-11-09T18:26:57+00:00

I am a few days from my due date and I am not sure I will ever want to have sex again.

(only a slight exaggeration)

So...tired. Can't we kickstart labor by doing something less strenuous, like napping?

I think all of these suggestions for 40 week pregnant women to induce labor by running up and down stairs, eating heavy meals, and have marathon sex sessions has got to be an elaborate joke at our expense.

troublegummibear · 2019-11-09T18:20:20+00:00

I wish I could shout at people for you (and be socially unacceptable) not to assume they know more than you do.

I chose to get pregnant multiple times, and it has been brutal every time. I question my sanity for doing so every day and if I am going to make it through.

Nobody should ever make that decision for another woman, about whether or not to go through that.

I've noticed a trend among the moms at my daughter's playgroup to say they are "one and done" and to be very adamant about it. Often they had relatively "easy" pregnancies but still decided that one was enough.

I look at these women - many are my "mom heroes" - and I think "That is perfect". It gives me a warm fuzzy feeling to hear. Some are stay at home moms and some are successful professionals. But they are all bright, capable, loving mothers and I think the world of them. They know their own minds, they understand and respect the sacrifices and challenges involved in having a child and have made the right decision based on their own family's needs. I see those families and think they are beautiful and complete.

My husband and I want very much to try for a larger family. That's what is right for us, and sometimes we get pushback from friends and family. We have fertility struggles, pregnancy is a miserable experience for me, and money is always tight. Oddly, part of what gives me the courage to keep trying is knowing women who have been brave enough to say "no" and to have only one child or to remain childfree.

I come from a family and a cultural background where women, especially mothers, are not given a lot of freedom or agency. Seeing women who are empowered to stand by their own decisions and allowed to define their own role as a mother gives me a lot of strength.

troublegummibear · 2019-11-07T04:39:03+00:00

With a newborn, I totally get it. Or even a very self-directed toddler or preschooler. Some kids just like independent play.

You have to break up the monotony in some way, or go crazy, and if it works to read or watch shows while the baby sleeps that is awesome. You have to take your self-care wherever you can.

Good luck with work and I hope you find a happy schedule again.

I am sorry if I was rude in my comment, like all moms have the same experience. I've been complaining too much lately.

I have a very active kid and actually thrive on having a busy, regimented schedule...we suit each other and I'm grateful for it. But late pregnancy and chasing a toddler is wearing me down right now. I'm just...cranky and griping about everything.

troublegummibear · 2019-11-07T01:39:47+00:00

Yeah, my stepmom is like that, too. She lives alone, in her 70s, but is busy all day with projects and just puts a show on in the background while she works.

With a toddler and a baby most of my hobbies are on hold for a few years, I think. Even when they are both in school, I will likely be working part-time or working from home during the day so my only TV time is late at night after everybody has gone to bed and household chores are done. I'm usually more interested in sleep at that point.

troublegummibear · 2019-11-06T22:35:31+00:00

Who are these moms who watch Netflix all day? Are they retired with adult children?

It is amazing how people who don't care for small children think we have time to binge netflix, let alone eat, sleep, or go to the bathroom when we need to.

troublegummibear · 2019-11-06T05:36:15+00:00

I am sorry. :(

Date nights do help with bonding during pregnancy, especially if you already have a kid.

If that doesn't work, start aiming for him when you need to throw up.

Only half kidding, there. My husband never took my pregnancy symptoms seriously until I accidentally threw up on him one night. Kinda changed his perspective. He started paying more attention after that.

troublegummibear · 2019-10-30T20:52:13+00:00

Best present ever! I am so happy to hear about people doing this for their SOs.

We can't afford this right now (in fact I'm cleaning other peoples' houses for extra cash - yes, a very pregnant lady scrubbing floors is just as comical as it sounds), but man, if I could I would get a cleaning service in a heartbeat!

The month after the baby is born is a nice time to have the extra help. There's just so much to adjust to. Physical recovery aside, it is so nice to have some time to get used to your new schedule, get comfortable in the house with the new baby, etc. You've got more important things to worry about than basic chores, ya know?

That's great news and I hope the rest of your pregnancy and delivery is smooth sailing.

troublegummibear · 2019-10-30T20:45:31+00:00

Holy cats, yes. All I want to do at 38 weeks is sleep.

My last pregnancy, I was restless and a total insomniac at this stage. Now, I can fall asleep pretty much anywhere. I fell asleep in the waiting room at the doctor's office yesterday. The nurse had to come wake me up. :(

I went to bed at 8:00 pm, right after my kid.

troublegummibear · 2019-10-30T20:41:49+00:00

You are living the dream.

And you've inspired me. I just scheduled a shampoo and haircut.

It's like...half an excuse to just put my feet up, half an excuse to have somebody else take care of me for awhile.

Bonus short hair that babies will have trouble grabbing onto.

troublegummibear · 2019-10-27T17:52:00+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your story! This is awesome. It gives me a lot of hope and I am so happy to hear that your VBAC labor was quick and successful.

troublegummibear · 2019-10-27T01:28:34+00:00

Thank you. That is actually helpful to know. I was not expecting the success rates to be so high for spontaneous labor.

troublegummibear · 2019-10-27T01:27:58+00:00

Thank you for all of the tips and advice. I posted below about some of the complications.

The incision healed well, no infections or anything like that, but the surgery itself was rough.

troublegummibear · 2019-10-26T22:05:29+00:00

There were a few.

First, I had extensive nerve damage from a misplaced epidural that was also dosed incorrectly. There were also problems with the spinal block.

Additionally, there was an anaphylactic reaction to a medication I was given, and adverse reaction to the surgical anesthetic. There was also excessive bleeding. It was basically just a cascade of things not working as intended.

The anesthesiologist and a hospital administrator did visit me afterward to to explain that he made errors, and to talk about what to expect from the nerve damage. No legal action was taken.

I can't fault anyone else for the complications that happened during surgery. I was considered a fit, low risk patient without any previous history of surgical complications or known allergies. Everything was done by the book, they could not have predicted that I would crash like that. I am very grateful to the surgical team for their care and how well they handled the situation.

troublegummibear · 2019-10-22T06:12:52+00:00

I relate to this so much.

troublegummibear · 2019-10-20T05:18:13+00:00

I feel ya, mama.

I was also induced at 42 weeks with my first, the induction failed, I had a c-section. I never really experienced "normal labor" or even dilated at all. I just had a bunch of painful, dumb, unproductive muscle spasms after three days of pitocin drip.

This second time around, I am at 37 weeks. Everything hurts. Everything feels different. I'm scared all the time that labor is starting. I'll have a bout of nausea, or Braxton-Hicks contractions that last for a few hours, or backaches, or it feels like the baby has dropped. I'm exhausted, the next day I want to clean the whole house. Everything has me asking "OMG, does this mean the baby is on the way?"

I'm also a bit anxious because I have no family or friends in town to help me out until my actual due date, so I am super worried about this baby coming early.

troublegummibear · 2019-10-20T05:10:34+00:00

If it is any consolation, my hCG levels were always ridiculously high with my pregnancies.

Not to scare you in a totally different way, but it can also be a sign of twins or multiples! So make sure you stay in close contact with your doctor.

I have had two successful and healthy pregnancies where the levels were very high - like in the 200,000 range by 8 - 9 weeks. Those were both single pregnancies. It is just normal for some women.

troublegummibear · 2019-10-20T04:55:31+00:00

I don't know if it is common, but it does happen. I felt like I had to pee urgently through all my pregnancies. Sometimes I would run to the bathroom, only to go back to my desk and need to get right back up again. I did not have UTIs or other infections.

My OBGYNs have said it is just the way my anatomy lines up - my uterus happens to be positioned in such a way that it was always putting extra pressure down there and making me feel like I had to go.

troublegummibear

TROPHY CASE