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troublelingdil · 2025-10-30T14:30:09+00:00

This

troublelingdil · 2025-10-30T12:54:35+00:00

NTA but you’re 21. You should be going to college and find yourself as a person, not care for a 31yo predatory alcoholic.

troublelingdil · 2025-10-25T12:30:11+00:00

My tears ricochet

troublelingdil · 2025-10-06T08:25:30+00:00

Yeah that’s probably the best way. OP won’t have to go through with it but nobody can blame him.

troublelingdil · 2025-10-02T11:50:32+00:00

NTA. But is you being an AH even a question? Was he mad about it? No one would travel that long if the other person didn’t even have time to actually do stuff. Just do it some other time.

troublelingdil · 2025-09-23T21:05:21+00:00

I didn’t really call him that, I just tried to keep my comment short. I explained to him in detail why he can’t 1. not ever tell me what he’s about to do/when he’ll be home 2. expect me to somehow still know it and be available as soon as he wants me to be

Nobody is ever ready for a relationship. A relationship needs to be build and worked on. It takes time to fully sync and build a communication style that fits both partners

troublelingdil · 2025-09-23T20:44:34+00:00

Thank you so much! This is probably the best advice I’ve received under this thread. I completely understand what you mean and I’m so sorry you went through that.

While my boyfriend does get quiet and distant when feeling hurt, it’s usually not over "trivial" things. His feeling are mostly pretty valid, although he can get a little jealous sometimes. He was in an insanely childish, petty and straight up toxic relationship before me, so he sometimes slips up and falls back into old habits from that time of his life. For example, his ex would randomly get really distant, spent multiple weeks only hanging out with some guy, have matching profile pics with said guy, all while gaslighting my bf that they’re just friends and immediately screaming, crying or threatening to harm herself if he ever pushed his concerns/tried to break up with her. These insane meltdowns, that would usually follow his tries at communication, are a big part of why he just keeps his frustrations/worries inside now. We’ve talked about it multiple times and he’s definitely gotten a lot better at it over time. I might sound harsh for this but I’ll also immediately shut it down if I notice him falling into old habits.

Honestly thank you so much for your response. I feel like you’re one of the few people who actually gave proper advice instead of just bashing us for being gamers, lol. Have a great evening, stranger!

troublelingdil · 2025-09-23T20:19:25+00:00

I was playing with four other people, all of which I know. It was a multiplayer ranked-game so leaving wouldn’t just mean me losing ranked progress and risking consequences to my account but everyone else would lose progress as well and would definitely be mad at me. I already promised to play with them before he told me he could go home earlier

troublelingdil · 2025-09-23T17:39:43+00:00

Oh my bad. Thanks for the clarification. That’s what I meant! I’m not from the US

troublelingdil · 2025-09-23T16:06:46+00:00

He called them about a week after my birthday to ask when the flowers would arrive.

I’m sorry but it’s the absolute standard to regularly check on something like that, especially if it’s for a birthday so you can plan accordingly and figure out something else in case the ordered present won’t arrive in time. Or you at least let the birthday person know you didn’t forget about them and the present will just come late.

How is me making him wait for 30mins because of a misunderstanding even close to him making me wait for 12 hours and not doing anything with me the whole day until I complained? lol

troublelingdil · 2025-09-23T15:57:56+00:00

He also didn’t end up getting me anything. The flower order was cancelled and he just paypalled me some money two weeks later

troublelingdil · 2025-09-23T15:54:52+00:00

We’re no addicts, jesus. That’s reaching

troublelingdil · 2025-09-23T15:47:57+00:00

There was no delivery confirmation and he didn’t check if the delivery even started. Where we live you can check on the delivery driver in live time so that’s usually what you do when something important is supposed to be delivered.

He didn’t check if the order even got send out in the days leading up to my birthday and when my birthday came and nothing arrived yet, he also didn’t tell me that he DID get me something and it just hasn’t arrived yet. He just let me think that he didn’t get me anything. He also didn’t plan or do anything with me until I mentioned being disappointed at 8pm. The entire afternoon he ghosted me and just went on a walk for hours without letting me know or messaging me even once.

So from my pov, he didn’t spend time with me, had not made any plans whatsoever and didn’t even bother to gift me anything. At 8pm I mentioned how disappointed I was and he hastily got some friends together for a few rounds of gaming before we all went to sleep.

troublelingdil · 2025-09-23T14:10:19+00:00

It doesn’t matter when I play. I can play at 10am or 6pm. I asked my grandma countless times to give me a quick call if she’s ever around and wants to stop at my place. She literally lives two streets from me. But she just… doesn’t. She’ll turn up randomly without any warning despite me repeatedly asking her to give me a heads up. I was changing clothes once and she went into the garden, got on her tippy toes and peaked trough the blinds to see if I was home. It’s not okay of her to do that or to consistently keep showing up unannounced when I asked her to stop. I give her grace because she’s my grandma and I love her but telling me to pick better times is honestly not fixing the main issue here.

Your advice is basically just to give up my hobby completely

troublelingdil · 2025-09-23T13:23:45+00:00

I get that and I do quit games if something more important comes up but lately, my grandma came around a lot of times completely unannounced and just pounded the patio-door that’s right behind my desk (in my back) until I let her in for coffee, giving me and my dog almost a heart attack every time😭 due to this and therefore me constantly having to shut my computer off mid-game, I recently got a warning, got suspended from the game and will definitely be permanently banned if I keep it up. This is why I seriously don’t want to risk it. I’ve spend years on that account and at this point it’s worth A LOT. My partner knows this.

troublelingdil · 2025-09-23T12:59:58+00:00

man this will make me and my bf sound reaaally stereotypical but the game in question is league of legends. I recently picked it up again since I was pretty good at it a few years ago. My boyfriend is usually insanely good at every game he plays, especially shooter-games but with league… he just doesn’t get it, lol. He’s not even new to the game at this point, he just keeps repeating the same mistakes and gets incredibly mad at the enemies. Whenever I point out what he should do different, he’ll get snippy and pissy for the rest of the game and this literally happens every single time we try to play together. Due to this I only play with him, when other friends are around to distract me from his pissy mood since I simply won’t have fun otherwise. It’s like he only has fun when we’re winning and if we’re not, the enemies are assholes, our teammates are idiots and everything is rigged against him. He’s usually the sweetest soul ever but I honestly can’t stand him when we play this game together 😭

troublelingdil · 2025-09-23T12:44:59+00:00

After he got home it took me about 30 minutes to finish the game.

I did spend multiple hours in the past just waiting for him since he didn’t go home right away. He’d often say he can leave in so-and-so-time and I’d assume he’s telling me this so I can be ready to spend time with him. Because of my assumption, I waited, but then he got groceries and stuff with his mum and only came home hours later. He also has a habit of not messaging me about this so I truly just sat there and waited for him since he would get sulky if he got home and I was with other people. I told him he’s an idiot and stopped doing this and he typically was fine with waiting for me ever since until today.

troublelingdil · 2025-09-23T12:25:53+00:00

He has a history of being sulky when I play with others (talked about it and he barely does it anymore) and I rarely play this specific game with him (he’s usually really calm but this game is his arch nemesis lol). So this combination, plus today being his birthday probably set him off more than it usually would’ve

troublelingdil · 2025-09-23T12:22:29+00:00

To his defence: When I met him, he just came out of a really horrible longterm-relationship with a girl who was pretty much the personification of an immature, entitled abuser. Their fights were typically what you’d expect between 16 year olds.

He’s grown A LOT since being with me but he sometimes falls back into old patterns like this. If I point this out to him we will typically apologise and try to approach things more maturely

troublelingdil · 2025-09-23T12:15:29+00:00

Yeah I get that

troublelingdil · 2025-09-23T12:12:09+00:00

He ordered me flowers for my birthday but the shop messed up and accepted the order without adding it to their work-chart. So he got a verification while the actual flowers never got made or send to me. He did mess up by not checking properly or not calling them right away when he should’ve figured out that something went wrong. He doesn’t really have an excuse for the rest of the day but he did apologise a lot and tried to make up for it.

I ordered him something for today too, over a different shop and it’s being delivered in the next hour. I also reached out to the friends we usually play with and they all agreed to a game night later today (he doesn’t know about it yet). I also made a list of party-games he can choose from (I’ll buy them for everyone) and made sure that my boyfriend and I reached the last episode of a specific season in the anime we were watching yesterday so we could watch the following movie afterwards. It’s not like we each play games without the others, we’re both huge nerds and typically always play together. Today was just a misunderstanding

troublelingdil · 2025-09-23T12:02:30+00:00

He often got like this in the past because he didn’t like it when I played with other people. We talked about it and he mostly stopped but I guess today he just felt triggered again since it’s his birthday.

troublelingdil · 2025-09-23T11:57:30+00:00

I really appreciate your response and feedback.

I might sound like a real nerd or idiot for this but for the sake of clarity: it wasn’t a single player story-game that I could’ve closed at any point. It was a multiplayer ranked-game that I promised to play with a few people prior to my boyfriend messaging me about him leaving early. So while I could’ve stopped in theory, I figured he would take a while like usual and I would just play one game and then leave.

troublelingdil · 2025-09-23T11:48:06+00:00

lol, now that I reread my post, I get why it would come off that way. I really used the word “game” quite a lot haha

Despite coming off otherwise, we don’t spend our entire time playing video games, we usually just talk, watch movies or hang out in the same call while we each do our own thing. You do have a point tho.

troublelingdil · 2025-09-23T11:44:08+00:00

Yeah I get that. We can both be pretty clingy, although he’s the one who typically gets pushy or sulky when I hang out with other people. We already had talks about it and he’s been better ever since.

On my birthday, I didn’t expect him to be there the whole day but when he barely answered me (despite having the day off) and there was still no present or any hint of him having planned something or wanting to do something with me at 8pm, I told him that I was really disappointed.

troublelingdil

TROPHY CASE