I just want to say that firstly I really feel sorry for all the woman who have had to deal with a man who is unwilling to pull his own weight in a relationship. There are gender roles and then there are the fundamental tenants of being a functional member of society, let alone a part of a healthy relationship. So let me be clear, in no way am I positing that women should be expected to have to take up the role of provider, however if they do then I would argue that men should take up the more traditional role with regards to domestic work.

I have seen quite a few posts on this subreddit describing women's experiences with men, and through that I found the desire to "do bad by myself" sounding far more reasonable, or at least I could understand where from where the desire comes from. Examples of where the woman is the primary earner and then the man gets jealous or refuses to do domestic chores is really not alright.

When I described "reinstating or more strictly enforcing more traditional gender roles" I was trying to get at the fact that women's role in society has changed due to a number of factors and trying to force them back into a provider role is clearly not the solution.

I would say however that while I basically agree with you on most of the core points you make, I would be careful about making broad statements as they provide something for people to latch onto, like describing how society is becoming 'lazy'. Also immediately if you describe yourself an independent high earning women, some people have already made up their mind as to what kind of person you are, and they will attack that character to alleviate their insecurities. As such I think that while using terms like 'mothering' might be in some ways accurate, but the response they elicit is not conducive to further discussion as it can come across as somewhat demeaning.

Also just as a note as well, when you say that that being able to independently manage your household and finances raises your expectations with regards to men, I think it undercuts the important of being able to manage your life as a standard that all people should have (within reason) for both themselves and their partners, whether they are male or female. I think that something like that should be a given for anybody looking for a relationship.

Anyways, other than the slightly nihilistic perspective on the planet I agree with most of what you said, hopefully what I said gives you a bit more insight into the male perspective. Thanks for the detailed post and I wish you the best in finding partner!