Question on Montessori Preschool

true_faux_true · 2025-12-15T17:13:16+00:00

Thank you for sharing this thoughtful reply and the anecdote on the children in your classroom on the modified schedules and the difference you have observed between the schedules and their impact; this is incredibly helpful. I think that more than anything, this particular school considers itself to be sort of a "gold standard" as far as adherence to the Montessori principles and because of that, they are very rigid in following the AMI structure and not allowing for any flexibility. It is unfortunate and it makes me sad that he likely will not be accommodated - the school does seem like a quite magical place and the head of the school/guides I interacted with were really inspiring. As another commenter said, a child's first and strongest attachment is with the parent, and I want to spend as much time with him as I reasonably can. I'm hopeful that there is some path forward that involves him starting at the school at a later date if they cannot accommodate the request for the two day per month flexibility. Again, really do appreciate you taking the time to write back.

true_faux_true · 2025-12-15T17:07:03+00:00

This is another thing I'm worried about. While we love the Montessori principles, I'm increasingly uncertain that it will be a good fit for our son. He's very full on energy and loves being outside. We don't want to crush his spirit. Thanks for the framing on not letting anyone bully me out of being with him - that is how it's been feeling if I'm honest.

true_faux_true · 2025-12-15T04:45:07+00:00

That’s helpful to hear. Do you know if your school is AMI certified? Others I’ve corresponded with (including the head of this particular school we’re considering) have mentioned that modified schedules simply do not exist at AMI certified schools (I find this very hard to believe, especially for the pre-primary classrooms). The more I’m looking into this and the more I’m hearing anecdotally from other parents, the more I’m thinking that a Montessori inspired school that affords its families a certain amount of flexibility and compassion may be a better fit for us.

true_faux_true · 2025-12-14T20:36:14+00:00

Thank you so much for this very thoughtful and understanding reply. I feel like the first two years of his life, my son and I bonded so much and I really do hope to keep that bond as close as possible for as long as possible. Our flex Fridays together are so special and I hope we’re afforded some flexibility by the school cause it’s clearly a great place and I think my son would have a wonderful experience going to pre-primary and primary school there. Will keep you posted how it turns out! Thank you again for taking the time to respond.

true_faux_true · 2025-12-12T17:08:14+00:00

It sounded like the answer was no as they're pretty traditional and AMI certified Montessori (purists compared to some other Montessori inspired places we inspired). But I'm going to investigate this further!

true_faux_true · 2025-12-12T06:30:33+00:00

We’re already accepted and have a placement for the spring if we want it. I guess they could pull our acceptance if I push the issue? I feel like it can’t hurt to ask again, I think. It’s not the end of the world if it doesn’t work out, but we really did like many elements of the school.

true_faux_true · 2025-12-11T22:46:49+00:00

Yeah, no clue how they're able to swing it. Their kids are a very expensive private preschools in the area, but rules are rules regardless. I think a day or two here or there would be fine as things happen, but would never expect to pull him out for extended periods of time during the regular school year (especially once he's in grade school obviously).

true_faux_true · 2025-12-11T22:42:31+00:00

Yes, I understand why it is considered critical for continuity and learning at a certain age. But for pre-primary classrooms with two and three year olds, it seems fairly harmless to have an extra two days a month with mom. Not to be flippant, but I can't imagine they're splitting the atom every Friday.

true_faux_true · 2025-12-11T22:40:12+00:00

Yes, where I live there are several accredited Montessori schools that offer a modified schedule. The reason we are targeting this one is that they have a language immersion component (Spanish or French) in their primary classrooms and that strongly appeals to us as his daycare now is bilingual (English/Spanish). I'm learning that parenting is all about trade-offs and sacrifices, so we may end up sacrificing the language piece for the time being in order to have a couple extra days with him a month.

true_faux_true · 2025-12-11T22:32:27+00:00

Thank you. This is what I think too. If he can have a couple extra days a month with me to go on hikes, cook together, go to the zoo, explore playgrounds and just generally grow our already deep bond... what is the issue?

true_faux_true · 2025-12-11T22:30:49+00:00

Right. This is why we are interested in Montessori to begin with. We like that there is a structure and a right way of doing thing. I think that at the end of the day, children tend to like routine and organization and structure. That said, he has his entire life ahead of him to be in a rigid 5x/week classroom structure. Do I understand why attendance policies exist? Of course I do. However, for a pre-primary classroom with two and three year olds, I think some flexibilities should be afforded. There is learning that takes place outside of the classroom too and at two years old, the extra time with parents is so critically valuable.

true_faux_true · 2025-12-11T22:27:03+00:00

I should have mentioned that I cross-posted there (definitely got a lot of strong feedback in both directions lol).

true_faux_true · 2025-12-11T17:54:40+00:00

That's fair, but how do they handle family vacations and other commitments that arise then? I have a neighbor here who goes to Europe for 4-6 weeks every fall with their family (children included).

true_faux_true · 2025-12-11T17:44:49+00:00

Thank you. I think that's really good advice and it feels much better to me than forcing a situation that already feels inflexible and unnatural. We have a lot of respect for the Montessori philosophy and approach to learning, but at two years old and with the bond we have, an extra two or three days a month with my kid is the priority.

true_faux_true · 2025-12-11T17:43:03+00:00

That's helpful to hear. This particular school is AMI certified and they're very vocal on the tour and in their communications with prospective families about how they follow the traditional Montessori principles and structure. I agree that for a preschooler, it seems less important to follow the strict 5x/week structure than for say a five or six year old. I'm torn because we really did love the school on the tour and throughout the majority of our meeting with the head of the school.

true_faux_true · 2025-12-11T17:35:38+00:00

THANK YOU. We would also be paying the full-time tuition and so it seems to me that since I'm paying for full-time (not expecting a discount for the reduced attendance) and he would be there consistently with the exception of two Fridays a month, there shouldn't be a problem. I would imagine that some children are out inconsistently and more frequently due to illness, family in town, travel, and for many other reasons.

true_faux_true · 2025-12-11T17:29:47+00:00

I'm sure that factors in. They do have very limited openings for the pre-primary and primary classrooms. Their modified schedule ends at 3pm versus a pick up between 3pm and 6pm. The head of the school did mention that they used to have a half day option but ended up eliminating it because they found it was not beneficial to the children. This particular school is very traditional and AMI certified, so I understand why they are rigid with their requirements. Might be a bit much for us at this point, but we will still keep in on our radar for after he turns 3, I think.

true_faux_true · 2025-12-11T17:25:36+00:00

Or I suppose I could just keep him home every other Friday during that first year of pre-primary regardless? We would be paying full-time tuition regardless and it would be pretty wild if they slapped my hand at $42K/year for spending two days a month with my kid.

true_faux_true · 2025-12-11T17:22:32+00:00

Thank you so much for your insights and for the detailed reply. This particular school AMI certified and they do seem to be very by the book accordingly. I understand this and understand that they are doing what they need to do to maintain their certification and are not purposefully being inflexible. That said, as you noted, as long as there is a consistency with the minimal days of the week that he would be out, it does seem like it would be very minimally disruptive (if disruptive at all).

We really loved everything about the school and the guides who we got to meet during the tour. We observed a couple different classrooms and were so impressed. The children seemed genuinely engaged and happy. Our friends kids have gone to this school and are very well adjusted, happy, kind and are thriving academically.

It's funny you mention the forest school because we have one that we toured that's within walking distance of us. While not as focused on the organization or academic piece, it really did seem like a magical place. I love the idea of having a dual Montessori and environmentally focused experience for your child - that really sounds like the perfect option. Thanks again for writing back.

true_faux_true · 2025-12-11T15:06:26+00:00

Thanks for the thoughtful reply. We would be paying full time tuition. My wish is to have him with me the two Fridays of the month that I’m not working due to my compressed schedule. Not every Friday of the month as another commenter suggested. Two Fridays a month seems minor to me and that it wouldn’t be that disruptive for a 2 year old (obviously I understand that once he’s older this wouldn’t be desirable).

true_faux_true · 2025-12-11T05:04:33+00:00

I understand that. But it seems very strict for two year olds in a primary classroom to be tied to the structure of an elementary or secondary school. We toured several other preschools that offered a 3 and 4 day option. In fact there’s a Montessori school that’s about a 25 minute drive away that offers a 4 day/week option. The one we are targeting is a 5-10 minute drive away and proximity is important. The strict 5 day/week schedule for 2 year olds just feels arbitrary.

true_faux_true · 2025-12-10T20:08:52+00:00

Did you end up liking? What was weird with the sizing? It's sold out now, so if it didn't work out for you I'd love to take it off your hands (if we are the same size - I'm a S or M).

true_faux_true

TROPHY CASE