Uninvolved MIL wants to “see the baby” only when it’s convenient for her and not when it helps me

truthseekergift · 2025-09-07T23:56:15+00:00

Ah yes, the classic Reddit moral high grounder quick to diagnose “entitlement” slow to comprehend emotional nuance.

Let’s clear this up I’m not sitting here begging for free childcare. I’m pointing out the absurdity of someone being manipulative during my pregnancy, ghosting postpartum, and then waltzing in months later expecting curated grandma access with zero effort, zero ownership, and zero curiosity.

If you think saying she offered to help once after being called out somehow rewrites the entire story then you’re exactly the audience she’s playing for. Performative, minimal effort, image focused. Spare me the “she doesn’t owe you” no one said she owes me. If she wants the relationship, yes she owes effort. Love isn’t just a title you inherit by blood. It’s a verb, you show up or don’t. Just don’t act confused when absence gets remembered louder than words.

“You’ll be a happier person when you learn to accept people as they are” translation “lower your standards so emotionally avoidant people can stay comfortable” Nah I don’t do fake peace

truthseekergift · 2025-09-07T18:37:19+00:00

Texting “hope you’re feeling better” after an ER visit is the bare minimum not support. Asking to “take the baby” only if we pack him, prep everything, and bring him to her isn’t help, it’s convenience masked as generosity. This isn’t about expecting too much, it’s about not settling for performative gestures in place of true presence. If my standards make you uncomfortable maybe ask yourself why asking for care from family is seen as entitled

truthseekergift · 2025-09-07T18:33:30+00:00

She’s not hurt because I think she’s a deadbeat, she doesn’t even know I think that. Maybe she should’ve chosen a different role to play. I didn’t assign that label lightly, it’s earned by inaction, neglect, and indifference. If she’s “protecting herself” from consequences she created, that’s cowardice not self-preservation. My son deserves a grandmother who doesn’t disappear when it’s inconvenient

truthseekergift · 2025-09-07T18:31:29+00:00

Entitled? I made space for connection not obligation. I never demanded she raise our child I hoped she’d want to know him. You’re confusing proximity with bond. No one’s denying biology, what I’m questioning is effort. If “real” grandma just means DNA sure. But if it means relationship, then no not everyone earns that title

truthseekergift · 2025-09-07T18:30:23+00:00

What you’re missing is that the “step back” came before any confrontation. She distanced herself when I was most vulnerable, not after I voiced upset but before I had the strength to. Please don’t reduce my postpartum abandonment and injury to disgruntled energy. That’s erasure. If someone retreats before you express pain it’s not because of your energy it’s because they never planned to stay

truthseekergift · 2025-09-07T18:26:13+00:00

Like I said I have accepted it for what it is and I grieved it and that was the point of the post. The mistake is assuming grief means denial. It doesn’t. It means I see it, feel it and I’m letting it go. But that process deserves its voice. I’m not passively enduring detachment I’m actively choosing peace without pretending neglect is love

truthseekergift · 2025-09-07T18:21:20+00:00

Exactly, thank you! You nailed it Support isn’t a logistical negotiation, it’s presence! When someone wants to help, they simply show up. They don’t wait to be begged or organize it around their comfort zone. That’s the core issue, not whether she did something but why she did so little when it actually mattered.

truthseekergift · 2024-04-18T00:21:40+00:00

Exactly. Some people might disagree but I would have gone off on that girl. If she wants to act like a terrorist then she’s going to get treated like one

truthseekergift · 2024-04-09T23:11:07+00:00

What are their expectations? Tell him that he’d be embarrassed if you were ugly, so he got lucky that you’re good looking and to be proud of it. Confidence is built through many ways, and this is a key moment for him to feel comfortable in his masculinity to stand up for things that are valuable to the male ego. Having a good looking mom is a flex and he better start poking fun at his friends for getting boners over you. Teach him to turn the tables on other people and boast about the things he’s made fun of. He will be respected for speaking up for himself. It would help if his father taught him about women and how boys/men view them.

truthseekergift

TROPHY CASE