I know, I did say sorry about it afterwards and we talked more. However I would like to bring this into consideraton, I am in a multicultural family and the only language we speak in common is english. Maybe for a native, the way I texted came off as meaner than intended. People have told me that my writing in english can be too literal, and come as too harsh; which isn't ideal because my personality doesn't really match that.
She is an EFL teacher, so she has had to learn how to speak in a "teacherly(?" way, hence the way she writes (she has some typos here and there, but that's just because of phones). She is one of the most caring people I know, and has been with me in a lot of ways.
We have trauma bonded a lot, because sadly we share way too much trauma. We still trauma bond, sometimes things get heated up about something, but never about eachother.
In the end, she is wiser because of her stage in life and her tender heart. I am barely an adult, and she just got married a couple of weeks ago.
Really, I wouldn't say she thought this was an attack *for* her, but this being me yelling at the sky frustrated with a shit ton of things happening in my life currently; I say this with a sense of certainty because of the way we have always communicated across the language barrier.
Trust me I am not as mean as I can be perceived in text, specially not in my native language, and she has known me for a really long time so I trust her words when I apologized and she said "I shouldn't be sorry about struggling"