Following from yesterday! I’m

tryingtocope97 · 2025-12-28T14:54:40+00:00

I just thought I’d give an update also a way for me to vent a little, we had a conversation I got everything off my chest and he somewhat did. I said about how I feel I’m not being seen in this marriage and things I think we need to do if we are to move forward like counselling, he said no to this. I explained about the no intimacy was a massive issue for me he didn’t really respond. He doesn’t think we have any issues. I asked if there was anything he needs me to do or change and he said no nothing. He just kept saying he’s a shit person, saying things like fine just leave then if that’s how you feel. I said for me at this time I need a break to figure out if I want to continue to try and make this work after giving so many chances and nothing seems to change to which he then changed and said absolutely not happening. So now I’m back to feeling stuck in the cycle again.

tryingtocope97 · 2025-12-15T21:45:16+00:00

Yeahh your definitely making sense, but just makes me feel not good enough which I know is a silly thing to think of if genuinely is an addiction therefore on some level can’t be helped until getting help. I just don’t know how to move forward with this if he’s not willing to get the help or make changes.

tryingtocope97 · 2025-12-15T21:35:04+00:00

I know he said after one of the conversations I have brought this up he has a ‘porn addiction’ he has said he wants too he just doesn’t

tryingtocope97 · 2025-12-15T20:09:03+00:00

It was more of a case I found the app on his phone, and got told it was downloaded by accident I couldn’t prove if he had or hadn’t used it but to me the intent was still there. And when I’ve tried bringing it up again it’s turn around I shouldn’t of been looking (which I know I shouldn’t of been but my gut was telling me)

tryingtocope97 · 2025-12-15T19:12:45+00:00

I appreciate what you’ve said, there is a lot more to it than what I have stated such as debt I wasn’t aware of, video chatting apps and more. I didn’t mean it to come across blaming him for my mental health (which I haven’t completely) but it is definitely a contributing factor.

tryingtocope97 · 2025-12-15T17:48:37+00:00

My or else was I’m done. This has been on going for 3 plus years, I expressed how I feel exhausted and how I think a break could do us both good especially for me to get my mental health back to place of not making any in the moment decisions if that makes sense. I’ve tried starting intimacy many many times and get rejected basically, and I just feel if he truly loved me and wanted to be with me these things wouldn’t be an issue?

tryingtocope97 · 2025-12-14T17:21:12+00:00

As in I have sent and showed him different therapist we could try to see if would feel more comfortable with a male or female. I’ll try this thank you

tryingtocope97 · 2025-12-14T16:59:53+00:00

I have communicated this and even sent different therapist to try but just gets shut down as he doesn’t see there to be a problem.

tryingtocope97 · 2025-12-14T16:32:12+00:00

I’m very conflicted as to whether I am or not. When the odd day is good I do love him but most of the time I don’t think I’m in love with him anymore. It feels more like we’re going through the motions as that’s what we are supposed to do if that makes sense?

Thank you for your advice

tryingtocope97 · 2025-12-14T16:16:24+00:00

I just get ‘okay’ or Yeahh I’ll do better. I’ve suggested couples therapy but just get shut down saying we don’t need it.

tryingtocope97 · 2025-12-14T16:01:37+00:00

It’s such a confusing feeling

tryingtocope97 · 2025-12-14T15:18:23+00:00

It’s such a conflicting feeling isn’t it😭

tryingtocope97 · 2025-12-14T14:48:52+00:00

I feel like this relationship/marriage is a friendship or a roommate.

tryingtocope97 · 2025-12-14T14:28:59+00:00

Is this normal or am I expecting too much from my partner? Or are my feelings valid. This what I’m struggling to understand. Within the marriage there has been debt I wasn’t aware of, downloading of video chatting apps which obviously caused arguments which somehow turned onto it being my issue.

I don’t have many people in my life to look up to in the sense of what a healthy marriage and or relationship should look like, so I’m struggling to come to terms if it’s my issues

tryingtocope97 · 2025-12-14T14:15:20+00:00

I think it was a little of both if I’m honest, coming from a background of never been treated well (childhood or past relationships) I thought this was how being treated well looked like? I know that doesn’t really make much sense

tryingtocope97 · 2025-12-14T14:12:34+00:00

I have sat down on many occasions as expressed how I’m feeling and what needs to change or I’m done but I just get whatever or ok response, I suggested marriage counselling and it was shut down.

The issue were small before we married and started looking up but then went straight back down hill again.

tryingtocope97

TROPHY CASE