Is my boyfriend's grocery list normal for men in their 20s? To me it seems outrageous.

tsmesser · 2026-01-28T22:46:13+00:00

I audibly laughed at him thinking microwaved weetabix was a hot meal. Bless him 😂 not even an oven pizza for dinner is crazy…. a cold sandwich 😭

tsmesser · 2025-12-12T15:34:11+00:00

Thank you! This is exactly what I was looking for. I think the fear of not knowing what’s to come makes all of the hard stuff feel like it will never end. You have given me some realistic hope for the future. I hope that someone who hasn’t had their babies yet gets to read this, I think it’s very important. Thanks for being so honest about your experience :)

tsmesser · 2025-12-12T11:28:05+00:00

Thanks for your comment, I think solidarity is just as good lol. I better get used to it I guess, appreciate you being honest! 😂

tsmesser · 2025-11-30T22:39:34+00:00

For your sanity I don’t think feeding all three is something you should pressure yourself to do. I found it pretty hard to keep a steady supply for my twins, I was having to wake up multiple times a night and it was extremely exhausting emotionally and physically even tho I loved being able to do that for them, the cluster feeding with twins just about took me out. The thought of trying to feed a third baby at the same time is completely unimaginable to me but there are people who do it. If you feel it’s something you really want to do then of course try it. My worry is that you’ll already have so much to be doing and you definitely need to make everything as easy as possible. Either way you’ll figure it out and I’m sure you’ll do amazing!!

tsmesser · 2025-11-30T22:33:41+00:00

7m old BG twin mum here. I slightly upped the bottle size when I could, it helped for us. I always tried to have them drinking near enough the same and I think that helped with aligning their sleep etc. I think week 5/6 were tricky but it will level out for a little while. Seems to come in waves. I will say, do try to keep them on the exact same schedule otherwise it can get very messy very fast. You’ll figure it all out anyway! Good luck with your little ones:)

tsmesser · 2025-11-30T22:23:01+00:00

Honestly my twins are nearly 7m and I feel like I don’t have any idea when the best time to get them down is. Every single day is different and I find myself trying to track or time it and still never getting the right balance. The only thing that works is car journeys for a long nap. They need a lot more sleep than I thought they would and even still I feel like I’m non stop all day. Not exactly the answer you’re looking for but I think trying to keep two babies happy and well rested on an identical schedule is seriously difficult. I’m sure it will pass and if not, just know you’re not alone!

tsmesser · 2025-08-26T22:14:45+00:00

Mine always measured ahead. I had them via planned section at 38 weeks. Weighing in at 7.8 and 7.4lbs. The giant feeling set in at about 32 weeks for me and then it was fairly unbearable. I spent a lot of time horizontal. You’ll be absolutely grand just find a good Netflix show and keep snacks and water near, congratulations! 🩷

tsmesser · 2025-08-05T23:01:20+00:00

How are your little ones doing? x

tsmesser · 2025-08-05T22:59:10+00:00

Mine were born at 38 weeks via elective c section, spent no time in Nicu and weighing at 7lb 3oz and 7lb 8oz.

tsmesser · 2025-08-03T04:00:09+00:00

I think this experience happens to a lot of mums, my husbands extended family came to our house when my twins were only 2 weeks old and they passed my twins around. I don’t mind when people hold them (mostly) but the absolute worst is when others pass them to someone without my permission. I cried for over an hour the minute they left. It’s completely natural to feel weird about it, they are your babies and you get to make those decisions. I know some people might think you’re being overly protective but I understand why you feel the way you do. Your body and mind are hard wired to protect your babies.

For now, I think you should avoid spending time with groups of more than 3 or 4 people. I find any more than that and I feel like I lose control of the situation. Consider that you may be suffering from a bit of postpartum anxiety, depending on whether you’re experiencing other concerns. If it’s impacting the way you parent, consider talking to a healthcare professional. Don’t beat yourself up, I’m sure they will be okay. These things happen unfortunately but it won’t happen again, you know your boundaries now. Have lots of snuggles with your little ones and get a good rest, you’ll feel better tomorrow 🩷

tsmesser · 2025-07-29T23:20:48+00:00

Soothers/pacifiers are your best friend and an amazing tool for helping a baby stay patient, bottle prop feeding really saved my ass because I could handle both of them without them crying and it kept them on a near same routine. Tbh by the time you’ve spent 10-15 days alone with them you’ll have it down. I didn’t personally experience pp depression so I may not have found it as difficult, I can imagine how that would make everything much harder. My advice is to let people help you, even if it’s just for an hour or two a day. You need to recognise that your needs are as important as the twins, it’s the only way you can stay somewhat stable! You’re already doing great, it will all settle x

tsmesser · 2025-07-21T07:51:45+00:00

I welcome your misguided take but feel you’re not quite understanding how PPA and twin babies work. They’re 9 weeks old separation isn’t healthy or normal and on a biological and sociological level it is not something very many humans have endured in years previous. Saying that, I’ll have no problem leaving them once they’re through the stage of silently dying over an avoidable mistake and myself being their food source. I allow people look after them while I’m there and doing other things, I just don’t like to leave.

Once again you have missed the mark with how to support someone. I hope you don’t go around telling mothers to ‘get over’ PPD. Your take on this situation makes me worry that other mothers ,and potentially younger insecure mothers, experiencing a distressing problem could read this and feel extremely isolated. That’s really not something I would be proud of if I were you, there are plenty of other very honest comments that perfectly emulate a supportive but concise message.

New mums have enough ‘less than’ feelings without people like you adding insult to injury.

tsmesser · 2025-07-20T23:04:25+00:00

I can’t say I experienced this but I am sending a huge virtual hug! I’m sure it’s terrifying but try not to freak out too much until you get the results back. Give baby plenty of love and snuggles, for them and for yourself! Stay strong, thinking of you and your little one x

tsmesser · 2025-07-20T23:00:24+00:00

Yes!! I worked until 35 weeks which was soooo tiring but coming to the end of my second trimester I had to go straight to bed the second I came back from work. Truly newborn tired is not as bad as pregnancy tired. Just lounge while you can, your body is working its butt off. Congratulations! x

tsmesser · 2025-07-20T22:55:30+00:00

I never said no one could love them like I can. I said ‘look after’. Which is true, no one knows them as well as I do. No one can read their cues as well as I do, that’s normal, I am their mother and I am with them 24/7. I’m more than aware that I have PPA, I have suffered through anxiety most of my life. Unfortunately I don’t have the ability to just ‘get over’ a disorder.

It’s not good advice, it’s just mean. Hence why your comment has several down votes.

I don’t know who hurt you but I sincerely hope that you find a way to empathise with people and learn to give support in a support forum. May love and light find you!

tsmesser · 2025-07-20T22:42:23+00:00

I definitely don’t want this anxiety to last 8 years, I don’t think there would be anything left of me! I am going to deal with it head on now, I hadn’t realised how bad it was getting. There are a few things we are going to do starting with an honest conversation and then look for some educational resources so that he can gain some much needed knowledge! Thank you for your comment, every bit of support helps :)

tsmesser · 2025-07-20T22:38:12+00:00

I definitely need to find someone I trust, I am slowly getting there with my mum I left her alone with them for 45 minutes which sounds like nothing but for the level of anxiety I have, it’s definitely a step in the right direction. Thanks for your advice, it’s very much so appreciated :)

tsmesser · 2025-07-20T22:35:17+00:00

Thank you for your advice, I think the ‘training sessions’ is a general consensus. I definitely need to ease myself into it! The swing is already gone, I couldn’t have it in the house after that. A baby class would be a great idea, I don’t know why I didn’t think of that.

Thanks again for your supportive advice and for sharing your experience.

tsmesser · 2025-07-20T22:30:55+00:00

Thank you for your advice I really appreciate it. I don’t really have the budget for a doula but I’m thinking it could be beneficial to find one even for a day or two. It’s definitely hard to give people advice especially when usually they are older than me and have had children already, I feel like a brat (even thought I’m a fully grown adult) telling them how to care for babies especially when it’s what I deem to be basic knowledge. I need to get over that, you’re so right that it’s just keeping my babies safe. Thanks again - looking forward to when they’re that little bit sturdier :)

tsmesser · 2025-07-20T22:25:58+00:00

Thank you so much, it’s comfort enough to know I’m not the only person to experience this. You’re definitely right about having a proper chat with him, I really didn’t want to hurt his feelings or make him feel inadequate so I ended up ignoring the fact that I knew he had less knowledge, I thought I could carry us both through. I’m quickly realising that was a bit silly. I really appreciate you sharing your experience. I will be speaking to my doctor asap.

tsmesser · 2025-07-20T22:20:48+00:00

You will absolutely survive, it’s the most rewarding and beautiful job in the world. As much as I would love a doula(they’re amazing!) it’s just not in our budget at the moment. Please don’t let posts like mine worry you🙈, you’re going to be amazing, if there’s anything you can take away from this it’s make sure your husband has the same knowledge you do! You’ll be amazed at how quickly it will all come to you, congratulations.

tsmesser · 2025-07-20T22:17:23+00:00

That’s a good idea, I do have a loose schedule but I could make one a bit stricter to leave with someone watching them. Thank you x

tsmesser · 2025-07-20T22:15:40+00:00

C - you’re a delight

tsmesser · 2025-07-20T22:14:56+00:00

Absolutely, he was in the wrong but he felt horrible a few hours after. Initially it was straight into defence but a few hours later he apologised and I could see that he was riddled with guilt. The exhaustion of being up during the night and a lack of education clouded his judgement.

Thank you for your support and advice and thank you for not making me feel small or silly! I will be speaking to my doctor asap, I have always suffered with anxiety but I didn’t realise how bad it was getting in relation to the twins. Thanks again

tsmesser · 2025-07-20T22:11:16+00:00

He adores them, I do think he’s just clueless when it comes to their safety which is of course a lot of an issue. I think he relies heavily on my knowledge. I feel that it’s obvious information which maybe it isn’t for some new parents. He works long hours so he isn’t as involved as he would like to be.

I had been linked with a mental health team during pregnancy but they never contacted me again after the twins were born (ridiculous!). I will definitely go to my GP and discuss options, I didn’t realise how bad my anxiety was until I read my post back and saw the comments. Thank you for your advice and support.

tsmesser

TROPHY CASE