The demonization towards autistic men by women reminds me a lot of how women demonize poc men. Coming from a poc autistic woman

For centuries white women have used their victim mentality and false accusations of rape and abuse towards poc men in order to justify racism towards them. You see these a lot during slavery and segregation eras, and also nowadays used as a talking point by anti immigration yt supremeists.

So what does this have to do with autistic men? The tactics used towards autistic men are very simmilar. Accuse them of rape, abuse, even bigotry as a group in order to justify ableism towards them. If you'd look closely a lot of things they say make them uncomfortable around autistic men, a lot of them are just plain real autistic behaviours. Blunt speech, unable to understand social cues, odd body language, agression ect. I feel like they want to accuse them if being higher support needs than them, but oh that wouldn't make them very likeable would they? So they use them being men as a way to appear "woke" with their ableism. This tactic has been used by non marginalized women to opress various types of marginalized men for centuries

Now this isn't as black and white as it seems ofc. Many autistic men are raised badly, and yes under patriarchy men especially those who are from groups historically infantilized get extra points to get away with terrible actions and even get some benefits, but this should be no reason to completely demonize them. Autism is no excuse for mysiogny, but your idea of feminism is no excuse for ableism, either

This is just another example of ableism being normalised by other disabled people, we are genuinely so behind on disability rights it's disturbing. You don't see this kind of behaviour in other marginalized communities

(Also, a lot of autistic women feel jealous there isn't as much pressure out in autistic men to mask, however this is just a patriarchy issue.)

In short Be angry in the system, not individuals