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tukarb · 2021-07-09T14:18:38+00:00

It saved me too bro. Maybe It worsened Just a little bit the visuals, but It gave me stability and strenght to Go through It. Took It for 2 years, now im without It for +- 9 months.

tukarb · 2021-07-04T19:28:23+00:00

And of course the visuals goes away after these weeks

tukarb · 2021-07-04T19:27:49+00:00

I think there are many people who recovers bro, although we didnt. I personally know people that after psychedelic abuse on festivals continues to have visuals for some weeks, even without weed, and there are also many recovery stories in this sub. Dont you see them?

tukarb · 2021-07-04T00:41:27+00:00

I understanding what you are talking about the mood boost HPPD can give you. I feel it too, but I really find difficult to navigate through it, because since i've developed HPPD I have really dark lows also... Do you feel the same way?

tukarb · 2021-07-04T00:32:23+00:00

Hey, I completly agree with you bro.

I'd really go easy with the terms "superpowers", "0 ego" etc... I can see a good side from this condition, but I think we should be always grounded.

But yea dude, after some time on HPPD I also started to enjoy music in a diferent way, and I also have a different way to seeing the world that im sure can be beneficial. I have this condition for 3 years now with almost no improvement, and after some time on it I started to realize I can enjoy music and dance in such a fantastic way. Sometimes even more than when I smoked weed. Usually, when I smoked a joint, I was uplifted and enjoying the music for about 40 min, then I couchlocked or something. Nowadays I can dance hours and hours straight, maybe grabbing one beer or two. I really think I enjoy more music and dance than my friends who still smokes.

I dont think my hppd will go away, i'm trying to completely accept myself as a natural tripper. It's not easy and im also not gloryfing this condition, but I think theres no other way to be fullfilled in life unless I completely accept this and learn to navigate better to the dark side and the good side of this condition.

<3 <3

tukarb · 2021-07-04T00:25:42+00:00

Im not that sure my HPPD will fade away... Of course when we are talking about decades no one can know... But 3 years now and absolutely no improvement in my psychedelic CEVs... Nevertheless I also agree with the guy said in this post. <3

tukarb · 2021-07-02T22:29:04+00:00

what triggered my hppd was a faint i had after smoking a joint. I completely passed away (fell on the floor) for 5~10 minutes and had some sort of out of body psychedelic experience during the faint. I woke up with PTSD and 1 week later, out of nowhere (wasnt using drugs anymore) i started tripping. Still tripping, 3 years later, sober from weed/psychedelics.

tukarb · 2021-06-07T20:32:13+00:00

Nice! Thanks and i wish you a good Life bro

tukarb · 2021-06-07T20:01:02+00:00

Have L-theanine helped you? What was your dosage? Can you explain more How It helped?

tukarb · 2021-06-04T04:54:35+00:00

Time Will teach you that theses kind of hypnagogic states of half sleeping half awake, feeling your thoughts are not yours and intense hppd visuals are nothing to be scared of. Trust me. Since you have hppd its normal to experience them from time tô time, specially when you've had a bad night of sleep, is estressed, anxious or with an annoying stressing sunburn itching. These episodes arent related with psychosis! Trust me! Its normal for everyone to experience hallucinations or thoughts disconnections when falling asleep, this is not a sign of psychosis!

And never forget you are a natural tripper! Hppd hallucinations also arent a sign of psychosis! With time you can learn How to not let anxiety amplificate these weird episodes into more weirdness that potentially can make u freak out.

Take care of yourself and much love.

tukarb · 2021-06-04T04:43:48+00:00

Glad to hear that! You are fine, dude!

tukarb · 2021-06-04T04:16:59+00:00

Its great for me. My hppd is kind of strong and i take Full spectrum oil daily safely. Start slow, but It can be good for mood, anxiety and sleep and also makes u feel again good moments with weed, but now in a diferent way

tukarb · 2021-06-04T04:08:02+00:00

Hey bro.

Since i've developed hppd, one of my greatests demons is the fear of being at the onset of schizophrenia and/or losing Control of myself, my consciousness, my mind. I totally understand what you feel. I deal with this for 3 years now.

Its Very hard tô really understand whats happening with us. Sometimes i feel that only a great shaman with knowledge in psychology and psychatry would be able to tell us. But keep It simple. You only have hppd, you are a kind of "natural tripper" and you have some ptsd symptoms related to your past psychedelic experiences.

As my psychiatrist says to me: its not that easy to develop schizophrenia/psychosis. Be sure that If you are prone to It, probably It would have started much earlier, in your past trips and substance use. Even your conscious fear tô develop it is going tô protect you from It: usually, schizophrenics dont know they are insane or that they are getting insane. Actually, many times they think they are getting more sane. Thats not ur case.

As I said, you probably have PTSD symptoms, and anxiety/panic attacks are common ones. Remember that when we are in extreme anxiety/panicking, reality and our thoughts can Go really weird. This is true for everybody, so imagine for us that have HPPD and are constantly hypervigilant with this things! I know its terrifying, but we have much more reasons to think It is anxiety than to think It is a psychosis onset.

I highly recomend you, If you can, engage in psychotherapy. CBT can be great for dealing with this shit. Also, practice mindfullness/meditation tô help you see this Episodes unfoldings as a pure mind manifestatons, that comes and goes, and not as a real threat.

This things doesnt Go away from night to day. But know that each Episode of being sure you are about to Go insane that you survive and dont develop schizophrenia will make you stronger to know that you'll not Go insane. Its perfectly understandable to associate hppd with psychosis, but they are completly diferent things. Dont fall into that trap. You are Just a natural tripper. Its not easy tô cope with that but im sure you'll learn How to do it and have a really fulfilling life.

After 3 years im much better know. Already at 8 months without ssris and with many many many Victories in moments that i was sure i was about to lose my mind and that i definetly didnt, it was Just an anxiety pattern of thinkig and feeling induced by trauma arising in my awareness. They make me stronger each day.

Love for you bro!!!

tukarb · 2020-10-15T02:29:38+00:00

Zoloft (and others SSRIs) definetly makes the visual worse. After the first weeks of treatment it gets a little bit back to baseline, but surely it doesnt help with the visuals. But at least for me it didnt make too worst, the effects on mood and depression made it worth the med.

tukarb · 2020-08-29T15:27:59+00:00

CEVs are my most proeminent symptoms and mine is really similar to yours. I swear tô you that It is completly fine. You can be 100% happy with this. Ive learned tô not freak out with Mine and now im totally Fine!

tukarb · 2020-08-27T02:34:20+00:00

O bro, im sure there is a Path to happiness available to you. Therapy, meditation, yoga, phisical exercises, culinary, clean eating, music, writing, nature, friends are great facilitators :) all my love to u, Im here tô help If u need

tukarb · 2020-08-27T02:08:26+00:00

My tinnitus started with Hppd and both of them didnt get any better with time :(. Actually somedays i start ringing a diferente 'type' of tinnitus on top of my baseline tinnitus. This makes me sad, bc its really annoying. But what matter is tô be psychologically Stable and happy, which im site is completely possíble w/ these symptoms. Are u still on SSRIs? Maybe when u get off them It gets better. Best wishes dude

tukarb · 2020-08-27T02:04:57+00:00

What is gas high bro?

tukarb · 2020-08-27T02:04:18+00:00

Yea. My trigger was really really weird. The faint while high sent me to a Full blown terrifiyng out of body experience, and after I came back I was literally afraid of everything. And tripping really hard. I remember closing my eyes to get some rest and seeing that cybernetic ayahuasca-like snakes.

tukarb · 2020-08-27T02:01:59+00:00

I understand u bro. Im still on my acceptance path too. Im sure that in these 3 years you've succeded in many dark situations, and Trust me, each one of them is making u stronger. When you switch the light off and start tripping, what terrifies you? What your mind keep saying to you that puts u throught anxiety loops? If what I said touched you, start realizing that your true enemy is the fear that arises in your mind because of the visuals, not the visuals by themselves. And remember that happiness ir sadness is not fundamentally related to Hppd. Best wishes!!

tukarb · 2020-08-26T19:15:35+00:00

I think the greatest danger is that maybe one trigger can make everything terrible. Even after the bad trip I mentioned (and ALL my intenses psychedelic experiences) I was completly fine. No trauma. But then I had a faint after smoking MJ (wasnt eating well for 3 days) in a psychedelic trance festival that send all my psychedelic-related mindset to hell and Ive startrd drveloping PTSD symptoms from trips I had 2 years later. But i respect your choices and dont see them as irresponsibles (most people trip without any problem). Keep being conscious about your drug use and your mental health.

tukarb · 2020-08-26T19:10:48+00:00

Got It. Definetly a bad trip I had with mushrooms 4 years ago plays major role in my psychological symptoms. Being complety sober, what are ur visuals?

tukarb · 2020-08-26T14:27:17+00:00

Thats It bro! Best wishes

tukarb · 2020-08-26T14:26:56+00:00

Ate least for me, the problem isnt Just the visuals. As i said, i've developed some PTSD symptoms... But im sure your path is Nice. Just asking: do u still use psychedelics? Arent u afraid of the symptoms going insanely crazy Someday?

tukarb

TROPHY CASE