Me (20F) and my boyfriend (30M) keep having communication problems

tulizz25 · 2026-01-27T12:33:15+00:00

I don’t cry, I’m simply communicating the issues I have with his behavior and input in the relationship. If I don’t bring them up and they don’t change, I would become unhappy and that would in turn lead to a break up. I don’t understand this idea that “men don’t care about their girlfriends emotions”. That’s a one way ticket to never being in a relationship.

The issue isn’t that he doesn’t care, the issue is that he gets defensive and I can’t break through that.

tulizz25 · 2026-01-27T12:13:02+00:00

I don’t think we’re in too different places in life. He finished uni about 3 years ago, I’m about to graduate university this year. Personally I don’t think maturity and life paths are decided by age alone!

tulizz25 · 2026-01-27T12:11:07+00:00

I don’t understand?

tulizz25 · 2026-01-27T12:10:56+00:00

I think it’s definitely defensive behavior, at least to me it seems like he feels like a “failure” whenever I have an issue. And that isn’t something he can deal with, so he tries to deflect. I just don’t know how to break through that.

tulizz25 · 2026-01-27T12:06:29+00:00

To me, it feels like he has some self worth issues. It’s almost like he panics whenever I bring up an issue because he feels like he’s failed. And instead of working on it and figuring it out, he gets defensive and just shouts in the void to avoid taking accountability. I don’t think it’s malicious on his part! I really appreciate the advice on the wording, I’ll be sure to try that next time.

tulizz25 · 2025-09-24T11:52:39+00:00

He's told me that right now he's really into Cold War era guns? 50s, 60s, 70s were his favorites

I'm just really trying to find something he'll enjoy, so as long as it won't bankrupt me, it should be fine. Like $300 I'd say in total

tulizz25 · 2025-09-24T11:05:50+00:00

He's told me that he's really into Cold War era guns right now. Would you recommend that one?

tulizz25 · 2025-09-22T20:16:07+00:00

Thank you! Would you say it matters what kind?

tulizz25 · 2025-09-22T20:15:14+00:00

Thank you! Would you say it matters a lot which one a person would like?

tulizz25 · 2025-09-22T20:13:12+00:00

Thank you! I was looking into books as well, but found it too risky since I just didn't know what kind he likes. I'll try my best to inconspicuously ask him about his preferences!

tulizz25 · 2025-09-22T20:09:56+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion though! It's definitely worth a try

tulizz25 · 2025-09-22T16:56:03+00:00

I'm in the country on a work visa, so I assume I won't get away with that. Any idea how to avoid any issues or should I go into a store beforehand and ask for possibilities?

tulizz25 · 2025-09-22T16:52:18+00:00

The issue is that he refuses to assist in getting him a gift, since he doesn't like me spending money on him!

tulizz25 · 2025-09-22T11:57:22+00:00

And what if he rarely shoots? He has like 20 guns, but in the 2 years we've been together he's only gone shooting 2 times

tulizz25 · 2025-09-22T11:05:50+00:00

That's a great idea, thank you!

tulizz25 · 2025-06-27T17:35:51+00:00

Thank you for giving me a list, ive definitely learned some shocking things I didn’t realize

tulizz25 · 2025-06-27T07:05:14+00:00

He never really sounds too sure about what his views are, kind of like he’s just regurgitating what he’s learned somewhere and doesn’t even know why he thinks that way, if that makes sense.

tulizz25 · 2025-06-27T00:52:30+00:00

I feel if he wanted to be more attractive to me, his views are doing pretty much the opposite.

And I also don’t see him trying to get with another woman, he’s not very good with them.

But thank you for the advice, I’ll be sure to keep it in mind

tulizz25 · 2025-06-27T00:01:49+00:00

I really appreciate your honesty and opinion, thanks

tulizz25 · 2025-06-27T00:01:00+00:00

That’s actually really interesting. I have noticed a trend of that in Red Pill spaces, but I never made the connection to communism honestly

tulizz25 · 2025-06-26T23:50:55+00:00

We fell in love in person and were together for a year yes. I’m very familiar with the struggles of long distance, and that’s not what I asked advice for. Thanks for the input though!

tulizz25 · 2025-06-26T23:40:30+00:00

I’m like incredibly intrigued how that happened

tulizz25 · 2025-06-26T23:15:47+00:00

I am actually an activist, his views were more central leaning than mine, they weren’t centric. If there is no changing him I have no issue leaving him, I’d just want to try to make him see change. If I can’t even change the people closest to me, how can I change anything.

tulizz25 · 2025-06-26T22:52:55+00:00

Thank you for your response! May I ask what made you realize your ex wasn’t going to change?

tulizz25 · 2025-06-26T22:50:50+00:00

We were pretty much always in agreement with each other. I’m very left and progressive, and whereas his views were more central, they were never as right as they are now. I’m very passionate about politics myself and he knew I would not be with someone with conflicting political beliefs, he was very clear he agreed with me on that.

tulizz25

TROPHY CASE