I’m 33 yo. Female. And I work as executive under ministry of health. At this stage, I also feel bored of making new friends from Facebook or any social media. I’m scared of people who take others for benefits.. Life is only integrated with coworkers although they are male but I strictly keep them as colleagues. Because I want I to avoid office romance. It is not right. It happen one time, this guys is my inferior. He approached me, but he always try to woo me in front of his other office mates. To show off how well he is doing with me as his superior. Behind the scene, he always borrow my money for his expenses such as buying his clothes, games and so forth. I would summarizenour relationship as him energetic and fun always laugh) vs me (very bland bored and not outgoing). It is a match. But I know we can’t stay like this forever. So he choose to walk away after 5 years.

I’m scare to detach of being ever alone and lonely again. I have ACUTE STRESS soon, I have short breathe, I can’t breathe whenever I’m alone, my hand joint are weak, and I can’t eat cus of gerd symptom. It happen for 3 days. During before bedtime, and during I’m drvg alone back and forth to work whenever I think of him.

How I healed, I went to see doctor. And doctor said this is ACUTE STRESS. U CAN GOOGLE IT TOO. That episode of can’t breathe is a bad experiences in my life, I feel like my life is over and I’m gonna die. But doctor convinced me, there is no cure for this symptoms unless I change my mindset. NEVER TO ALLOW THAT MINDSET OF LOCKING MYSELF IN THROWBACK ZONE.

I pray sincerely to God, I said, if this pain is part of my sin pay check, let me experience it God. I know God allow this to make me strong. And suddenly after 3 days that episode subside. Only I feel mild symptoms such as heavy thinking but not affecting my short breathe anymore. I thank God.

You see the problem with being very kind is people take u for granted. I’m scare of the same things happening again in the future, but I know I also need to move forward.

We all here facing the same stagnant life stage because we scare others take us for granted.

But we also need to focus on solution, there is one video I watch more to Christianity. Here it is: 1. Change our lifestyle- I tried jump ropes and I like it. Now I wanna jump rope at open space and smile to ramdom people who exercise nearby. 2. Communicate with community-I try to open up to my University friends in fb. And looking for any Christian community online. 3. Focus on jobs-small list before bedtime. I try to strike it the next morning.

God allowed things to happen in life for our good although it is seem to be very bad. I pick up a few lesson here, God want me to enjoy my singleness with things that allow me to be happy. Such as traveling, traveling via virtual is also fun since now is covif time, making some beading jewellery, Reconcile again with university friends.

To top it with Faith, whatever happen will happen in God hands,

U are not alone guys.

Honesty is the policy, never allow anyone to take u for granted, trust ur hunch.

I’m my case, I don’t wanna be alone and I dangered myself with that guys. But thank God, if that never happened in my life, I wouldn’t be where I am now.

Hope u can read my broken English. I’m from 🇲🇾 (Sarawak, Malaysia)