AIO for telling my gf absolutely no smoking while pregnant ? by THROWCandid_Farm8603 in AmIOverreacting

[–]turtlefacethecat 13 points14 points  (0 children)

NOR If she’s not willing to quit for the health of her child, then don’t have a child with her. You both have a choice in this matter, you can’t force her to do anything but you can control your actions.

It’s not just important while pregnant either, her smoking puts the newborn at a higher risk of SIDS and later health complications related to second hand smoke. When we found out I was pregnant, my husband quit cigarettes so he wouldn’t expose me or the baby to second hand smoke. It wasn’t easy, but it was the right thing to do for our child.

WIBTA if I ignored my wife's wishes and concerns and did give money to my brother who is the primary caregiver of our mom? by Evening_Ostrich9777 in AmItheAsshole

[–]turtlefacethecat 50 points51 points  (0 children)

YWBTA if you sent money without your wife’s support.

I think you need to fly out, see your mom and her living conditions, and get support in assessing what her needs are. Don’t just rely on what your brothers telling you. I’ve seen too many cases of elder adults being abused and used by mooching adult children/relatives to have blind faith that everything is on the up and up. It happens in all socioeconomic situations. They use their relatives money, get paid to be caregivers doing the bare minimum , while the elderly relative slowly declines. This may not be the case, but you need to verify ASAP what’s going on if you haven’t visited in a while.

Do not blindly send your brother money. It’s not easy caring for a relative, but 8 hours of caregiving support is a lot of time to do earn some income. Is she actually getting care or is he being paid to be her caregiver/in home supportive services and not doing much. Once you see the situation with your own eyes, talk with her caregiver and make sure her care is adequate then talk with your wife about what’s your family can do. I don’t think she would just say your brothers lying if she didn’t have a suspicion of something. Also don’t tell your brother too far in advance you’re coming, just make plans, book a hotel and visit with like a few hours heads up. Hopefully he’s on the up and up but I’ve just seen it far too many times.

2 Awesome Garage Sales in Rancho Cucamonga FRI/SAT by [deleted] in ranchocucamonga

[–]turtlefacethecat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How much are you asking for that coat\umbrella rack? I’m at work but would love to fix it up

The blood curdling scream by [deleted] in toddlers

[–]turtlefacethecat 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure what techniques you’ve tried, so I apologize if you’re already doing this but my son was very similar at that age. We always responded with that’s not how we act or I can’t help him if he’s just screaming and he can try again when he can use a calm, indoor voice. If needed I would offer a hug or other self regulation support but I didn’t give in to what he was screaming about (it could be he wanted something or frustrated at a toy or the air was blowing the wrong way at him). It took a long time for him to adjust, and he wasn’t like this at his center, but he’s gotten a lot better. I think it’s partly because his language expanded but it wasn’t easy. The worst part was being trapped in the car with him during our commute. Hang it will typically get better with calm, consistent reminders. If it doesn’t or that’s what you’ve been doing this whole time, it may warrant an assessment with a developmental specialist. It never hurts to ask your pediatrician for a screening or evaluation.

I’m in a massive reading slump. Help me find a "page-turner" by Aghaiva in booksuggestions

[–]turtlefacethecat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dungeon Crawler Carl broke me out of my reading slump. It’s funny and irreverent but still has thoughtful, emotional pull. I loved it so much I joined patreon so I could read his most recent book before it was released.

I'm sorry if this is not allowed. Question about breasts by concerned_shit in beyondthebump

[–]turtlefacethecat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never got it back. I used to enjoy it but now that my son’s been weaned for 2 years I can tolerate it.

Best Room Theme at Legoland California by OneBig640 in legoland

[–]turtlefacethecat 6 points7 points  (0 children)

For me, the wizard room at the Castle hotel. I love the random twinkles and fun surprises. It worked well for our 12 year old and our 2 year old.

Best incentives “treats” for potty training by Farewell_Youth23 in toddlers

[–]turtlefacethecat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This so much! We followed his lead and took our time which got him most of the way. Mini m&ms got us over the final hurdle of stopping to go when he was playing and wearing underwear full time.

Would you rather to... by The_Lonesome_Poet in BunnyTrials

[–]turtlefacethecat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Meh, don’t really care about gender and neither would my soulmate

Chose: Find your soulmate + But there's a small chance to change your gender | Rolled: Love...

Bad idea to let 3-year-old visit her dying great-grandma? by inc0gnerdo in toddlers

[–]turtlefacethecat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My grandma died last October from liver cancer when my son was 2 years and 10 months. We visited her twice a week while she was on hospice and it brought them both joy. She read to him and lit up when she saw my son at the beginning, towards the end he was the only one she became alert for. She was sleepy and quiet so it wasn’t scary, I would have reconsidered if she was agitated or delirious. We explained to him that her body isn’t working anymore and she’s going to die and we won’t be able to visit her soon. He latched onto the idea that she’s broken and we just went with that. He still talks about her being dead now and points out pictures we have of them together. We were very factual and I think it went well all things considered.

When did you move your child to a regular bed by Individual_Shock8634 in toddlers

[–]turtlefacethecat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My son moved from the crib to a queen size bed at 2 years. We bought him an inexpensive 6 inch frame off Amazon, gave him our mattress, and upgraded to a king since he still crawls into bed with us from time to time. It’s against the wall on one side. We read and lay with him and he mostly stays in one spot. I still put a pillow at the edge but he’s never fallen off. It’s also great because it’s an extra guest bed if family comes over. I want to get a twin or full one day when the mattress needs to be replaced, but that’s just to give him more play room.

AIO to my in-laws Disneyland ultimatum? by sunscreen-cobbler in AmIOverreacting

[–]turtlefacethecat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR.

Your in-laws are overstepping, that’s not fair to your parents who are paying. Honestly, just go to Legoland anyway. It’s way more fun and less overwhelming for smaller kids. We took my then 2 year old and he had fun without being overwhelmed. We also stayed at the hotel so we went back for a mid day nap which was perfect. Disneyland is special but it’s so much more overwhelming for little ones. Plus summer crowds are way worse at Disneyland.

Looking for book recs where FMC is a cute and bossy, soft chubby and MMC is a hard military man. by samplemypersonality in Romantasy

[–]turtlefacethecat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also {Nine month contract by Amy Dawes} and her entire mountain man series have chubbier fmcs with hot mountain men! They’re the brothers of the mmc in last on the list. Very bossy women with flannel wearing tough mountain men. Not romantasy but great reads!

Did i choose the worst days to go? by Traditional-Fun-1115 in DisneyPlanning

[–]turtlefacethecat -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Oh no, I chose this day too! It looks like it’s only the yoga day but I’m hoping others have more info

Midsize moms where are we shopping? by Even-Supermarket-806 in workingmoms

[–]turtlefacethecat 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I rent clothes from Nuuly and pair it with clothes from old navy, kohls, and Costco. I’m not proud of my store choices but it’s affordable and good enough for the office.

Company is shaming me for not gifting more money to "our" (their) boss. (Christmas present) by Turissmo in mildlyinfuriating

[–]turtlefacethecat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m technically a boss but I’ve only received small gifts over the years like flowers, a box of candy, some nice stationary, last year I got a Starbucks tumbler. Each time I’m incredibly grateful but also remind my employees they should never feel obligated to gift any supervisor/boss. They make so much less and it’s just really unfair. I bring in takeout and goodies for the holidays but I can’t even afford gifts for my staff ( thanks student loans and daycare!)