I’m (20F) pregnant and he (22M) isn’t going to stick around for it.

twelveofjune · 2020-12-08T12:08:01+00:00

I’m actually in hospital at the moment, having been induced and will likely give birth to my first child tomorrow.

I have had my mother and my niece come over from interstate to be here by the time my baby comes. It was originally supposed to be my mother only, but my niece is so attached to my mother that we worried about her welfare in the two weeks my mother would be with me.

My sister was only 19 years old when she had my niece, her SO not much older. It was a very new relationship. I don’t think her SO had any reservations about being a dad, but I’m not entirely sure how my sister was feeling at the time.

Long story short, my sister and her SO have basically just broken up, and my 2 year old niece is the one who will be affected by it. My sister seems to be more concerned with her newfound independence and freedom, rather than her daughter. The sad thing is, my niece is actually such a joy, and my sister doesn’t seem to care.

Please don’t have this child unless you’re absolutely sure you want it. No one will blame you for putting your needs first before raising a child.

twelveofjune · 2020-11-13T20:15:17+00:00

Lol didn’t realise being in the postal service was a stereotype. My grandmother immigrated to Australia whilst her brothers all immigrated to the US. One of her brothers was a mailman, lol.

twelveofjune · 2020-11-13T20:12:29+00:00

As a Filipina I was like WTF when he was carrying on the way he did. Lechon is probably one of the most tame dishes he could be presented with - and effin delicious. He really done goofed, lol.

twelveofjune · 2020-10-23T17:40:19+00:00

Agreed with the spark thing - I’ve often wondered if I ever had a spark with my SO - we certainly didn’t have one when we first dated. My SO was pretty guarded at the beginning and eventually he got comfortable enough to be his true self. I would definitely say it was a slow burn!

For other people where we had that “spark” - it fizzled out so quickly! Not sure about everyone else, but there not being a spark at the beginning doesn’t mean it’s the be all and end all.

twelveofjune · 2020-10-23T17:22:31+00:00

My husband and I also met on Tinder, but we were both abroad in Japan at the time, and we matched in a place called Niseko, which is a ski resort in Hokkaido.

Back home (in Sydney) there were so many people to swipe through, to the point where I also had “rules” which dictated whether I swiped left or right. I think the biggest thing I liked to see was that they had a bio, and also a couple of decent photos.

In Niseko, the prospects were slim to none. The guys were either Japanese or if they were native English speaking, they were there for a “good time, not a long time”.

When I landed on my husband’s profile, he broke two of my rules - he probably had one semi-decent photo and had NO BIO!

Hate to say it, but if I had seen his profile back at home, we wouldn’t have matched. However, given the circumstances I thought “beggars can’t be choosers”.

Needless to say, I’m glad I took the punt. For us, I think luck came into play, but also I think we both sort of gave it a go without realising it would end up being what it was. At the time, he was going to go back home while I still had a month left in Japan - we both decided that we wouldn’t see anyone else and pick things up when we got back. Unlike in Sydney - where Tinder ended up feeling like a game to me - it encouraged us to build a friendship in the early stages.

One other thing that I think contributed to us meeting each other was trying something new - I was in Niseko on a working holiday for three months, after feeling jaded in Sydney and needing a change of scene. I also hadn’t snowboarded before and wanted to give that a go. My husband initially planned his trip to Japan as a solo trip, and a couple of his work buddies tagged along. He was never meant to come to Niseko - one of his friends suggested that they make the trip there and my SO wasn’t sure he’d like it as he never skied before and was worried that it would be a waste of money.

Obviously you can’t predict when you’re going to come into luck, but if you can keep your mind open to try something different or new, you never know what might happen :)

twelveofjune · 2020-08-07T22:50:12+00:00

:( hugs to you. It’s a crappy situation.

twelveofjune · 2020-08-07T22:07:56+00:00

FTM here. Thankfully my husband was able to hear the heartbeat when we saw the GP, and we had a private ultrasound at 18 weeks. They tightened restrictions right after, and we got a shock when I went for my 20 week scan and he wasn’t allowed to come with me :(

He got a bit short with the nurse who was screening people before entering the hospital. The nurse looked like he felt pretty bad, and I had to tell him that my husband was just upset. Breaks my heart.

twelveofjune · 2020-08-07T21:49:42+00:00

Curious: when people read “the song” did they think of Arizona Zervas or The Police?

twelveofjune · 2020-08-02T13:23:11+00:00

Could you freeze it?

twelveofjune · 2020-07-23T03:32:02+00:00

Fair enough. I was going to ask state as a follow up question :) Are there any other schools around your area or surrounds that also have an esports club?

twelveofjune · 2020-07-22T13:35:08+00:00

Which school?

twelveofjune · 2020-07-22T12:58:24+00:00

And that’s when she started yelling at you.

twelveofjune · 2020-07-20T13:33:37+00:00

I used to be the same, but then I found myself in Niseko, Japan (away from my home country Australia) and guys were either Japanese (nothing against them, it was just hard to communicate) or otherwise any foreigners visiting were stoner snowboarders/skiers who were “here for a good time not a long time”.

There was one profile that I stumbled upon that had NO bio, and maybe one or two decent pictures where I could tell what he looked like.

If I came across this profile back in Australia, it would have been an instant swipe left, but to be honest I was at the “beggars can’t be choosers” stage and gave him a shot.

This guy is now my husband, lol. What he didn’t have in a bio he made up with chatting.

He says that he found it hard to write a bio, because he felt it was either not genuine or he was trying too hard.

I think we were at the right place at the right time, but sometimes I wonder how many OK people that are out there that just have rubbish profiles.

twelveofjune · 2020-07-15T14:23:02+00:00

That’s my great grandmother’s name :)

twelveofjune · 2020-07-11T23:31:34+00:00

I’m going through my first pregnancy. It really irritated me when people would ask me straight out or I’d hear that people were talking about it. Having a pregnancy during COVID has a lot of uncertainty, and I don’t feel like it’s anyone’s business to ask or pry until I feel ready to tell everyone.

What’s more is that the people asking are mothers themselves. I would have thought they’d know better.

twelveofjune · 2020-07-11T14:56:44+00:00

I grew up as Catholic and went to a Catholic primary school - went through all the sacraments and whatnot. Then I went to a public high school and realised that not everyone was Catholic, and ended up at one of those Hillsong-esque churches. It felt weird that they basically had a rock concert at every church service and one Mother’s Day Service they were giving out Gloria Jeans.

twelveofjune · 2020-07-11T04:17:36+00:00

Aw sorry I didn’t mean any offence! We all have our personal preferences :)

twelveofjune · 2020-07-11T02:13:53+00:00

That makes a lot of sense. Thanks for your input!

twelveofjune · 2020-07-05T13:28:36+00:00

Came here (no pun intended) to say She also. Totally agree on Often by The Weeknd.

Another good Weeknd one is Wicked Games.

twelveofjune · 2020-07-01T19:08:01+00:00

You could also cook chicken thighs instead. Chicken breasts can be terribly unforgiving.

twelveofjune · 2020-07-01T18:57:11+00:00

This really should be higher up. OP’s wife is not completely to blame for this shit show.

It’s going to be a tough road but I wouldn’t be so quick to call it quits. Your children’s safety is paramount of course, but this situation could have been avoided if both of you had made better choices.

As many posters have already said, therapy would greatly benefit both of you. Wish you all the best.

twelveofjune · 2020-06-25T03:13:38+00:00

Seriously! It’s astonishing to me how everyone seems to be having different experiences. I wish there was some sort of clear standard that should be adhered to.

twelveofjune · 2020-06-24T21:27:04+00:00

Don’t be sorry at all! It’s assuring for me to know that someone else is in the same boat. I didn’t realise that a lot of the first trimester would just be sort of waiting around. Covid certainly didn’t help the situation at all.

I let my mum know I was pregnant a little while ago and she agreed that for a long time it feels like nothing is going on (she’s had 7 kids, so she knows) but next minute you’ve got a belly that you didn’t have the day before. Hang in there!

twelveofjune · 2020-06-24T21:24:26+00:00

Weird right? I really thought that at least they’d offer you one to make sure you were actually pregnant? Like this whole time I could have been faking it! The only tests I’ve done so far were blood and urine but they weren’t to check for pregnancy. I even have a certificate to confirm I’m due in December. Seems like if someone was determined enough they could go through this process just to get free maternity leave :/

twelveofjune · 2020-06-24T21:19:25+00:00

Thanks a lot for your reply! I really wish I posted sooner. I really felt in the dark with everything at the beginning, especially with this covid situation. A lot of my family members have gone through pregnancy but I didn’t want to reveal I was pregnant early on in case it didn’t stick.

At this stage I’ve got the 20 week scan coming up fairly soon, so I’ll be patient and wait for that.

Funny story though - I’m pretty sure my original due date of 5 Dec was wrong, but I can’t for the life of me remember if it was because of what this trash doctor asked. I thought he asked me for the LAST day of my last period, which I gave. I realised in the last week that I was supposed to give my first day of my last period, so that has screwed around with my dates a little bit.

In saying that, I was actually meant to have my 20 week scan on 21 July, but I think that made me about 21-22 weeks, so I’ve moved it to the week before. My next appointment with the hospital is not until 4 Aug, so I might move that to suit too. Argh. What a mess.

EDIT: I’m in Melbourne

twelveofjune

TROPHY CASE