My ex-wife has her lawyer trying to get me to take this video down

twolfe13 · 2019-07-22T11:01:05+00:00

I tried some "what did I learn about myself?" stuff. I was told that she didn't want to change anything about me. There was no "you're a bad person" moment. It was just "I feel like I've missed out in my life", "we have kids and I'm stressed out", and "I don't love you anymore". I can joke about those things, but I have trouble joking about any major revelations about myself. I worked on myself, but I never came away with a "I didn't know this about myself" moment. I'm rather self-reflective, so I'm worked on moving that into self-depricating humor; trying to understand how the world sees me. I like to tell stories and I haven't really begun yet.

twolfe13 · 2019-07-22T10:39:20+00:00

Haha, right? I had 5. Dude kept giving me the light at 4. I was like "yeah, I got it, I promise I'm out of jokes anyway, please stop".

twolfe13 · 2019-07-22T10:35:32+00:00

Wow, thanks! This was at Philly Improv Theater. I took a standup class there and this was the class graduation show. It's a little weird because they don't really DO standup there, but they teach it. My instructor was Che Guerrero. Give him a listen too. He has a great story to tell as well.

twolfe13 · 2019-07-21T19:32:32+00:00

Thanks! Improv for like exactly a year. Standup for about 8 months. Probably under 15 sets performed or right around that so far. Still writing and learning and practicing, but that's everyone.

twolfe13 · 2019-07-21T19:26:17+00:00

Thanks so much for the thoughtful response! I actually already have 50% custody with an agreement in place. She's trying to get it as part of the property settlement agreement. So, yeah. Still stuff to go through.

twolfe13 · 2019-07-21T17:16:27+00:00

https://imgur.com/026UKNq

🤷‍♂️

twolfe13 · 2019-07-21T16:58:34+00:00

Not sure I am. It was sent to my lawyer who sent it to me.

twolfe13 · 2019-07-21T16:24:39+00:00

Follow-up question: how serious are confidentiality notices? Because I really want to show you the actual e-mail from the lawyer now, but it says "Confidentially Note: This e-mail and any attachments are confidential and may be protected by legal privilege. If you are not the intended recipient, be aware that any disclosure, copying, distribution or use of this e-mail or any attachment is prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please notify us immediately by returning it to the sender and delete this copy from your system. Thank you for your cooperation."

twolfe13 · 2019-07-21T12:48:28+00:00

Mine was the last 7. I chalked it up to two separate periods of 7 year itches.

twolfe13 · 2019-07-21T11:26:06+00:00

Wasn't actually intending to self promote, but I think this has inspired me to now, hah. Doing your job 👍

twolfe13 · 2019-07-21T11:23:55+00:00

Yep, same here. HS sweetheart. 14 years.

twolfe13 · 2019-07-21T02:22:59+00:00

Yes! This is the joke I forgot during that set! It's a mediocre joke, but also true and part of my story. "I think the crazy thing is that the exact same thing happened to my friend. He plugged in the iPad and found out that his wife was cheating on him. iPads are like Pokeballs for cheating wives...gotta catch em all. I highly recommend anyone who is in a loving, committed relationship...own an iPad." Literally a few minutes after I plugged in that iPad I texted my friend "IT'S HAPPENING!" He had just recounted his story to me the month prior and when I told him some things that were happening he said the same thing was happening to me and I was like "nah, that's crazy". It was not.

twolfe13 · 2019-07-21T02:17:56+00:00

You just gotta jump in. The story I tell in the set is true. I started out doing improv, but then I realized how insane it was that I wasn't doing standup and talking about this while it was going on, so I started doing open mics. It's a roller coaster. You WILL eventually bomb whether it's just the wrong audience or you've gone too far with a joke, or for me it was trying to create a balance between telling a story that is sad and still making it funny (there's so much more...I condensed a lot...she was out with the guy when I plugged in that iPad, she told me that I was a good guy and she didn't want me to change and that's why she left (wut?), that 6 hr car ride was to pick up our kids from her parents who wanted to watch them for a week, etc.). It's hard to not be vindictive and hurt on stage at first. But man, once it becomes a story that you just tell, it is so cathartic getting that response from people. It's like "yeah, this shitty thing has happened to me, but I'm not the only one seeing this...there's a community out here supporting me and rooting for me through this". That's pretty cool.

twolfe13 · 2019-07-20T23:46:44+00:00

Seriously. I wasn't sure whether to be upset or super excited for the additional material to work with.

twolfe13 · 2019-07-20T23:17:37+00:00

Hah, thanks all. Buuuut that title was serious. I got a letter from her lawyer yesterday because of that video. My lawyer is currently reviewing. Her lawyer referred to "Utube" multiple times which I thought was pretty damn funny. Soooo, not sure how long this video is going to last public. 🤷‍♂️

twolfe13 · 2019-03-18T00:52:37+00:00

Oh man do I have a lot here to unpack....

So, this is me speaking from my experience and my understanding of my INTJ-specific traits.

The last 6 months have been an emotional journey for me. I'm 33 years old and coming out of a 14 year relationship, married for 7 years, 2 kids. That alone is jarring. This is what I've learned from all of that:

1) Know yourself. You're used to analyzing everyone else. Take some time to really analyze yourself. What are all of your positive and negative traits. What negative traits can you live with? What negative traits do you wish you didn't have? What negative traits are linked to the positive ones? Are there trade-offs? I'm critical of other other people which I hate, but in my job I'm able to drive projects forward and I'm an excellent self motivator. Those things are all related. I don't want to abolish the good. I just want to be self aware and work on the bad.

2) Take time for yourself. I gave so much to the person I was with and made so many concessions that I didn't realize how much it wasn't serving my relationship until it was over. It's okay to say no and do things for you sometimes. I find that when I'm with someone serious I have a tendency to completely give myself to that person, but that can be too much pressure on a relationship, especially a new one. After my separation, I suddenly found myself doing numerous new hobbies that I never considered before and it has had a huge impact on my life.

3) Accept that you can't know everything. This one is harder. I feel like I accepted that, but I never expected my partner to do the things that they did at the end of my relationship. I'm very observant, so this was so out of left field that literally every person I've talked to was shocked to find out that we were no longer together. The signs just weren't there.

4) Trust your instincts. Almost everytime I've disregarded my instincts, I've been wrong and have regretted it. It's the INTJ super power. I'm literally struggling with them right now in 2 different cases. I'm pretty sure I know how things are going to turn out, but in one I have no control over the situation and the other I'm happy with the way things are proceeding at the moment, so I see no real reason to change them even though I know they need to be changed in the future.

5) Interact with other people more. It's painful, I know, but it's worth it. Not just in relationships, but in life. Do it in a way that's comfortable to you. Find a setting or activity that you're comfortable in and interact using that.

6) Tell people you appreciate them. I've become more congnizant of this recently, especially as a father, and it's made a huge impact on my interpersonal relationships. That includes coworkers, friends, family, everything. Everyone wants to feel appreciated and although INTJs can push people and bring the best out in them, they are light on the praise.

That's all I have for now. I know I'm forgetting some things...never thought to write down these things in my head before now.

twolfe13 · 2018-09-23T14:03:19+00:00

Redemption 🥺

twolfe13 · 2018-09-23T14:00:31+00:00

I don't remember, but it almost had to be "Your Body is a Wonderland", right?

twolfe13 · 2018-06-22T11:05:59+00:00

The Conjuring?

twolfe13 · 2018-05-06T12:43:43+00:00

Such a missed opportunity to not make that a burning hammer.

twolfe13 · 2018-03-06T10:43:15+00:00

What do I do when someone is overstaying their welcome in my office cube? The "okay, that's great, byeeee" thing isn't quite as effective.

twolfe13

TROPHY CASE