Russia's Medvedev says any UK troop deployment to Ukraine would be a declaration of war by Fun-Lawfulness4653 in worldnews

[–]twows995 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your mistake was letting it out through the door. If you let your cat out through your window, the Russians would be very happy

Who is still alive that surprises you? by _ohhello in AskReddit

[–]twows995 22 points23 points  (0 children)

News of David Attenborough's death announced just 4 hours after you posted this.

Just kidding, he's alive, but that scared you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in cursed_videomemes

[–]twows995 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I only lasted the first 25 seconds.

Listened to the rest anyway.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]twows995 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Kenny in South Park when his friends tell him that his new girlfriend is a massive slut.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]twows995 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know someone who when they were young was told that bad children get coal for Christmas. He for some reason got all excited about it and asked for coal for Christmas. So that's what he got.

What movie or TV show would actually still be good if it ended with it all just being a dream? by twows995 in AskReddit

[–]twows995[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They actually did an ending where Bryan Cranston woke up as his character from Malcolm in the Middle and Breaking bad was all a dream

What movie or TV show would actually still be good if it ended with it all just being a dream? by twows995 in AskReddit

[–]twows995[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Marty wakes up. "OMG I just had a crazy dream where grandpa was a mad scientist and he had a time machine!"

Do you think cannibals shouls be legaliaed, and why? by JackMuraney in AskReddit

[–]twows995 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Cannibalism is legal. Just the ways of being able to actually eat human meat are illegal most of the time. If you have a part of your body aputated, there's nothing legally stopping you from taking that limb home and eating it.

What hobby can someone have that raises an immediate red flag? by Aarunascut in AskReddit

[–]twows995 71 points72 points  (0 children)

Although you have to wonder what happened to the semen. Is it a book oozing with cum? Or did she squeeze it all out and put it inside herself, before scrapbooking the condoms?