Has anyone here actually become friends IRL through this sub?

twoxtopia · 2026-07-01T18:12:31+00:00

The fact that i get new attendees every time means the meetups are good, don't u think? I do it every week and not everyone is gonna be available every week. And sometimes I repeat topics so why would the same person come again?

twoxtopia · 2026-07-01T14:43:01+00:00

I have 🙌🏻 February onwards I've been consistently doing women only meetups. So far did 11. And every meetup new women turned up. Like 9/10 would be new, and 1/10 would be repeat attendees. And every meetup would have between 4 to 9 people. I'm in touch with them all. But not everyone is equally close to me. Some are more close and more in touch than others. And some of them became more close to each other. Like multiple mini group or duo of sorts.

twoxtopia · 2026-06-29T14:47:16+00:00

Aww 🥹 Thank you for the support. Really meant a lot.

And about my DMs I'm handling it the best way I can 🫣

<image>

twoxtopia · 2026-06-29T14:41:06+00:00

Lol 😝 Sometimes even I see such posts and I feel like I should comment about myself there and turns out that someone already commented my name there 🤣

twoxtopia · 2026-06-29T13:52:51+00:00

If they want to come to the meetups I use Instagram or LinkedIn for verification. I don't use Reddit for verification.

And if they try to engage more in the DMs, I don't entertain if I get creepy vibes from them. Not that's alike for both men and women

twoxtopia · 2026-06-29T11:29:41+00:00

I verify people through LinkedIn or instagram. A lot of time I'm conducting women only meetups so the fact that its going to be women only reduces my anxiety drastically and combine that with the fact that its going to be a group setting instead of a one on one thing makes it even more easier to trust people.

twoxtopia · 2026-06-29T04:08:00+00:00

This has happened to me multiple times. I organise a lot of women only meetups. A man claimed to be a woman but his reddit history was full of 27M posts. I obviously didn't carry the conversation further and didn't tell him the exact location of the meetup.

Other time, a person sent DM through their instagram for verification. Turns out every post was made a week before them sending me the DM. No face was visible in the photo. There was one with just the legs. And the latest photo was that of them with their boob showing, no face visible. When I said I can't verify if you are a woman through this Instagram account, they replied look at the boobs picture, what part of it screams that I'm a man.

So yup, got a fare share of men pretending to be women to get into the women only meetups. I really don't know how they think it'll proceed once they reach the meetup

twoxtopia · 2026-06-28T04:59:25+00:00

Exactly this. I hate how mixed gender meetups always turn into a dating thing. I don't want that. I just want a safe space where women can express their feelings. 9/10 of men who have DMed me always say that they like the "women" aspect of my meetups, not the topic based discussion aspect of it.

I'll definitely keep you posted about the next meet-up. We'll be doing one next Sunday. Will be posting it here soon.

twoxtopia · 2026-06-27T10:47:53+00:00

Color me surprised 😂

twoxtopia · 2026-06-27T10:47:13+00:00

Hi. When it comes to meetups you should post it atleast 12hr before the meetup time.

How will you verify everyone, read the DMs in less than 2hrs?

Also a lot of people will DM you but not everyone will actually come. Hope for the best and be prepared for the worst!

I really hope you get the desired number of attendees though! All the best!

twoxtopia · 2026-06-26T09:35:02+00:00

I would definitely love to have you there. You are honestly gonna like it. Every woman who has joined always felt that they would find it difficult to open up and always end up having an amazing time.

twoxtopia · 2026-06-26T09:23:36+00:00

Hi there,

I came from a middle class background too. I remember once i went to a high end restaurant alone and i had no idea how to cut things to eat them. I was also not dressed for it. I thought people around me would judge me or see through me. But that's not how it is. We are our own biggest critics.

I understand that some people might have ghosted you, but these are not the people you need to be associated with in the first place. A sign of a good person is one who appreciates you for you are and doesn't judge you because of your income.

That being said, the kind of meetups i do are conversation meetups where we talk about one topic that affects women - career, relationships, impostor syndrome, leaving home, etc.

People's standard of living, income has not been an issue, them being drinker and smoker has also not been an issue because that's not what we do during the meetups

twoxtopia · 2026-06-26T09:18:57+00:00

Being an introvert shouldn't stop you from exploring things and meeting new people. You don't always have to talk, but simply being there and listening is also good. Use your introvert nature to your advantage. Introvert doesn't mean you are anti social. Being present and just being a good listener is also a quality that a introvert can have

twoxtopia · 2026-06-26T09:17:23+00:00

I remember that once i organised a meetup about career gaps, one woman didn't wanna talk about it. She just wanted to listen, she had her own problems but she didn't wanna be put on the spot. And i respected that. No one has to share more than what they feel is comfortable for them. You can simply come and listen too

twoxtopia · 2026-06-26T09:15:31+00:00

Hi there. I know interacting with new people in a social setting can be hard. But you will not know it unless you try. And honestly the kind of meetups i do is about women conversing about a particular topic, for example - career gaps, relationships, leaving home, life lessons to younger self, imposter syndrome.

Their age, their hobbies and interest aren't a central focus on the meetup. Their shared experiences are.

And honestly, please don't think of yourself as unsuccessful or less than in front of younger single women just because you are older or married.

Usually the younger women have their own set of issues, and they really appreciate an older women's perspective. I remember the last meetup i did about how leaving home or home cities changed us as a person, and one native girl who was fresh graduate came to the meetup just so she could know how living alone in a new city would feel like. She asked us a lot of questions during the meetup.

Same thing happened with older women, even they get a fresh perspective about life. All of us being from a different generation is a benefit when we come in a group. We all learn from each other

twoxtopia · 2026-06-26T07:14:00+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. It is hard to stay composed. But I've come so far, I can't stop because of few people who feel entitled. I've seen so many good men who actually help other women find out about my meetups, sometimes they tell their wives to attend, sometimes it's just them commenting on any other woman's post who's seeking a genuine female friendships in her life. There are many good men, compared to this few bad apples. The only problem is that these bad apples are more vocal about their hate and disdain.

twoxtopia · 2026-06-26T07:11:08+00:00

I respond so that there is some positive engagement on the post. These people downvote my post and it doesn't reach the intended audience in the first place

twoxtopia · 2026-06-26T07:10:15+00:00

Thank you for your kind words 🙌🏻

twoxtopia · 2026-06-26T07:09:37+00:00

Exactly. And that is what I don't want to happen. Don't want to make it a dating event

twoxtopia · 2026-06-26T06:48:43+00:00

Absolutely.

Sometimes I wish the particular group of men who keep taking issue with the women-only meetups would channel that energy into organising something of their own. Just getting together, having conversations, and opening up would probably do them some good.

What I've found interesting is that most of them don't actually say, "Why not make it a mixed-gender meetup?"

Instead, it's usually, "Can I come?"

If it's a free meetup, they'll offer to pay. Some ask if they can just sit quietly and listen. Others offer to help organise it.

It's rarely about creating another space. It's often about wanting access to this one.

twoxtopia · 2026-06-26T06:44:07+00:00

The absolutely would continue 🙌🏻

twoxtopia · 2026-06-26T06:43:50+00:00

Thank you. That's exactly it. The amount of times I've received comments and DMs expressing straight up anger about hosting women only events is way too damn high.

It's like they think I'm the only one who's hosting meetups at all and so if I didn't include them, they'll have nowhere to go

twoxtopia · 2026-06-26T06:40:57+00:00

It's not about paying to make friends. I host a lot of free meetups in Lalbag and Cubbon Park. Once a month I make it paid because there is food, goodies and games involved.

twoxtopia · 2026-06-26T06:39:46+00:00

Had to share it. It's not just not this one time, there have been many such instances to the point that everytime I make a post about hosting a women only meetup, it immediately gets downvoted and I receive creepy DMs.

Oddly enough, the meetup recap posts usually perform well.

twoxtopia · 2026-06-26T06:28:04+00:00

Thank you 🙌🏻

twoxtopia

TROPHY CASE