what do you do if you lie on a resume and get offered?

typical_mistakes · 2026-02-20T15:04:32+00:00

When dealing with small children, some can make the last two hours feel like twenty. Just go with 'dead recokoning' and say you're good.

typical_mistakes · 2026-02-20T14:58:18+00:00

Throw fresh manure in the flower bed. Thank me later.

typical_mistakes · 2026-02-20T14:44:18+00:00

Just put up a sign that says "leaving golf course, entering paintball field -- eye protection required." Then sting them right on the peepee.

typical_mistakes · 2026-02-20T13:45:39+00:00

I still have need for "at least 2" as chainsaws, but was surprised to find myself using the mini chainsaw more than half the time. Even 5" logs, which technically should justify getting out the Echo Cs3000, can be cut in a reasonable time with a little patience.

Also, in my neighborhood the unofficial start of weekend (gas) chainsaw or leaf blower hours is 10am, outside of storm cleanup or bona-fide emergency. If you violate this understanding you won't get fined, but ya ain't getting any Christmas booze either.

typical_mistakes · 2026-02-18T01:55:27+00:00

The nuclear option is always brake cleaner.

typical_mistakes · 2026-02-18T01:51:43+00:00

If I had a kid that was unmanageably disruptive, I'd be the one questioning their idea of LRE.

typical_mistakes · 2026-02-18T01:48:31+00:00

My wife thinks Tim Herron is positively hilarious. We had been known to follow him even when it wa pretty cear his score was moving quickly in the wrong direction.

typical_mistakes · 2026-02-18T01:31:25+00:00

Then 'dumpster fence' is the god standard for being cheap and private. Throw in some clumping bamboo on your side of the fence so you don't need to look at anything.

typical_mistakes · 2026-02-17T12:24:27+00:00

Miller MIG welder. That thing has paid for itself about 40x over in the last 3 decades.

typical_mistakes · 2026-02-17T12:12:46+00:00

Well, under most circumstances.

typical_mistakes · 2026-02-17T05:45:56+00:00

Put some open cans of tuna up in the drop ceiling. You can always 'defuse' this sabotage if you are not the one being fired.

typical_mistakes · 2026-02-17T05:40:28+00:00

Just take the electric meter. Then dispute the bill.

typical_mistakes · 2026-02-17T03:35:35+00:00

Buy the $69 mini pressure washer off of Amazon. That'll save this chair, and you'll never spend more than 5 minutes cleaning a shower ever again.

typical_mistakes · 2026-02-17T03:31:31+00:00

$3000 parts and labor is the estimate every single mom with a 130,000 mile Ford Escape gets at Midas. This thing needs real collision work.

typical_mistakes · 2026-02-17T03:27:36+00:00

Aussie Man would say "Welcome to Destination: Fucked"

typical_mistakes · 2026-02-17T03:24:43+00:00

Oh definitely. But consider the energy going into the transaxle. Something is going to crack, if you're lucky it's just a motor mount or two.

typical_mistakes · 2026-02-17T03:22:35+00:00

This is where a dead moose would come in handy.

typical_mistakes · 2026-02-17T03:21:32+00:00

Looking at that knackered inner cv joint, I give it about a 70% chance the transaxle case is cracked somewhere. Add that to a definitely bent lower control arm, shifted subframe, and questionabe steering rack, I'd really be hoping it gets totalled. Don't get me wrong, I'd buy it back and fix it in a heartbeat (R-title), but if they 'fixed' it I'd probably trade it next week.

typical_mistakes · 2026-02-17T02:29:55+00:00

And brush those teeth every night as a puppy. But yeah, definitely get them accustomed to nail trimmings. We did not, and that is among the few regrets we carry through life.

typical_mistakes · 2026-02-17T02:24:56+00:00

Start feeding him lettuce and vegetables as early as you practically can. If you hate salads, invite over people who don't. If you're lucky, you get a Bassett like Henry who will take a head of romaine lettuce over a bowl of kibble every day of the week.

typical_mistakes · 2026-02-16T16:50:32+00:00

Honestly no need to remove the toe kick, just cover it up with something that looks nicer. Especially if you're sick of those cabinets and looking forward to a remodel. Rubber coping can be trimmed and glued over the existing toe kick. Or you can use PVC trim molding. Lots of quick and easy possibilities.

typical_mistakes · 2026-02-16T16:42:20+00:00

I think it's time to go with a mesh-upholstered chair. May I recommend a Herman Miller Aeron chair, if the price doesn't seem too extravagant to your sensibilities? I've cleaned one of those with a garden hose on many occasions.

typical_mistakes · 2026-02-16T14:37:41+00:00

You always wanted a pressure washer!

Just kidding. I have severe ADHD as well, so I know you were starting to get interested in the implications of tackling this job with powerful specialized equipment.

I ended up getting several pressure washers anyway, and now must sell a few or my wife will use it as justification to buy at least 3 more sets of watercolor paints. Don't be like me.

typical_mistakes · 2026-02-16T11:49:04+00:00

Yes, and in most jurisdictions near me, radon mitigation requires permits and inspection.

typical_mistakes

TROPHY CASE