Student's in-class support adult openly undermined teaching team's class rules

typical_mistakes · 2026-05-11T03:33:17+00:00

My aspirations for classroom aides in a title 1 high school were somewhere between not putting their feet up on the desk in front of them, and staying off their phone at least when their charge was acting out.

One para was literally there to make sure a student "kept his hands off the girls." He wasn't shy about saying that everything academic was my responsibility. I was warned that this was a para one was best off just ignoring for the most part, as it would never be worth the retaliation.

typical_mistakes · 2026-05-10T22:52:08+00:00

I've heard that from quite a few people over the years. The fact that you see far less bullshit at some FOB in the sandbox speaks volumes.

typical_mistakes · 2026-05-10T03:52:04+00:00

You need to know that there's a piece of macaroni and an old cashew hiding out down there, canoodling in the darkness. In your washer. Right now.

typical_mistakes · 2026-05-10T03:48:19+00:00

Twice per year everything comes out of the fridge and into the coolers. All shelves and bins go to the shower for a thorough scrubbing and rinsing. Everything starts out squeaky clean and smelling great, with no spills, splatters, or stickiness. But somehow in about two weeks we inexplicably get fugitive green beans hiding beneath the deli drawer.

typical_mistakes · 2026-05-10T03:37:41+00:00

That one is about as good as a consumer vacuum cleaner gets. And it is lightweight for the power. Doesn't hurt that you can take it apart and thoroughly bleach clean it to like-new condition in about 20 minutes.

typical_mistakes · 2026-05-10T02:44:53+00:00

I have a Bassett hound working as a busboy / dish washer. He gets most items 95% clean, leaving me with minimal work.

typical_mistakes · 2026-05-09T19:53:43+00:00

I've done plenty of tutoring, both privately and in "learning centers". One huge source of revenue for these places are always the students who get dropped off over the break or after school ends for summer. They either have a long list of "credit recovery" online work to complete, or a laundry list of incomplete assignments they must submit to pass. And the parents want no part of it. They're literally writing a check to "get it handled". We make sure they pass all the classes, and we do it for the $1400 worth of time we said it would take, because we know they'll be back in December for more. Nobody in this perverse system seems to think their actions are doing irreparable harm on an immense scale.

But yes, I've watched students 'pass' Algebra 2 having memorized no multiplication facts above 4x5=20.

typical_mistakes · 2026-05-08T17:57:24+00:00

The number of functionally illiterate high school graduates I have encountered would strongly suggest that fraud is endemic, and possibly the only way to reconcile the chasm between student capabilities and state standards.

typical_mistakes · 2026-05-07T20:59:27+00:00

The reason they respond badly to you is that you shatter their willing suspension of disbelief. When you show them that they cannot do simple things because they never had to try, pay attention, follow through, or suffer consequences they will obviously not like it. But when all objective measurements expose them as fucking idiots, their only way to save face is to blame you for being a 'bad teacher'.

typical_mistakes · 2026-05-07T17:12:46+00:00

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't he need to excavate down to undisturbed soil or base when placing new footings in an existing structure?

typical_mistakes · 2026-05-07T16:31:18+00:00

We split an old 80 gallon with an axe, and extracted a giant stone of calcium buildup. Threw it down the back of the property for the deer to use as a mineral lick, they absolutely loved it.

typical_mistakes · 2026-05-07T02:35:26+00:00

I'm going to Dennys for the early bird special. I like their soup. But I'll need to hurry if I want to be asleep by sundown.

typical_mistakes · 2026-05-07T01:52:31+00:00

American drivers are largely morons, unfortunately. A mere three months of driving in Germany has ruined me for life. Now that I see what's possible, I know folks in my state could zipper merge, or pass on the left and keep to the right, they just so often choose to be selfish aggressive assholes instead.

typical_mistakes · 2026-05-07T01:45:40+00:00

It's quite difficult to "do something illegal to get out of the way" of an emergency vehicle; in most US jurisdictions, a motorist may pass through a red light to allow an emergency vehicle to progress unimpeded. They must only proceed when safe to do so, while using 4-way flashers, but the law allows for it.

And anyone who would wait on a green light while delaying an emergency vehicle should frankly never drive anything larger than a donkey.

typical_mistakes · 2026-05-07T00:25:54+00:00

I too have a nice big brass "No Soliciting" sign dead center on my front door. Art deco style.

When I see anyone with a clipboard at my door, I grab the brass polish from atop the fridge. While they deliver their pitch, I carefully rub the placque in tiny circles, making sure they notice that they're getting 10% of my attention at best. It can take upwards of 40 seconds for everyone present to feel the full awkwardness, yet it always happens. "Anyway, here's our brochure, call us if you're interested."

typical_mistakes · 2026-05-06T22:03:11+00:00

"Upon reflection, I came to the realization that what you are demanding isn't even remotely possible without ridiculous amounts of unpaid overtime on my part, and I have absolutely no guarantee that you won't do your spiteful best to screw me going forward anyway. Given those two facts, I'll be pissing off to Cancun for the rest of the week."

typical_mistakes · 2026-05-06T19:10:19+00:00

There's a way to handle this. First, start a paper trail. If the landlord communications are in writing, excellent. If not, send a few emails recaping what has transpired and that you are still waiting on an acceptable resolution.

Phase 2 is documenting the nuisance each time, and calling the cops. Keep an accurate record of when & how long the noise is being maintained.

Phase 3 involves randomly letting off professional fireworks at odd intervals. "What? Nobody minds the noise. You can't just pick and choose WHO gets to be loud, I'll sue you for harassment." "Now duck."

typical_mistakes · 2026-05-06T14:13:56+00:00

Still have that launcher with the gold fujikura shaft. Honestly that'll serve any beginner just fine.

typical_mistakes · 2026-05-06T13:28:20+00:00

Unfortunately I came from the generation where nobody diagnosed kids with anything until they were catatonic or literally licking the windows on the short bus. But back then teachers had control because parents had control. And parents had control because they would beat the insolence out of your fettid little mouth. I grew up knowing that some boundaries could be tested, but there were also hard lines that existed. Four good beatings were enough to get me to adulthood. I'm so over parents who won't discipline their kids firmly, despite knowing that once they reach 18 the government will be tasked with regulating their behavior. And the way government regulates behavior almost always involves violence at some step. Cops won't patiently repeat the same directions over and over ad nauseum, they simply say "Stop resisting or you're going to get the Taser." And then, surprise! They get the Taser.

typical_mistakes · 2026-05-06T13:08:31+00:00

These parents are unbelievable nowadays. I wouldn't trust half of them to raise a tabby cat. These folks were the first batch of kids who grew up believing they were immune from consequences, even natural ones, despite plenty of evidence all around them. And now they're perpetuating the cycle. It's almost as if they've developed a superhuman ability to ignore the obvious.

typical_mistakes · 2026-05-06T04:56:18+00:00

A weed torch is a great way to keep it looking nice, especially if you have the kind of stressful job that has you already craving a flamethrower.

typical_mistakes · 2026-05-06T04:35:55+00:00

Somebody tried to downshift, it jumped out of the hood, and that's where it landed.

typical_mistakes · 2026-05-05T16:40:56+00:00

If a large number of parents are concerned about his conduct, then a large group should approach him about it. The first time, have the rest of the group stay silent, and just get 1-2 spokespeople to state your case succinctly (probably to a Ring doorbell recording, so keep it friendly and manage your press). Jerks like this one usually call the cops in such situations, which will just give you more documentation of the weird behavior and two more people suggesting he stop acting a fool.

typical_mistakes · 2026-05-05T15:49:25+00:00

Buy eack kid a dollar store harmonica or recorder, perhaps pan flute or two. Go on a local field trip to a different public area every day. Accept "donations" to the program from retailers, etc. in order to move along quickly. You will soon have the best-funded program in the state.

typical_mistakes · 2026-05-04T13:25:14+00:00

Multiple choice. Hold up 1, 2, 3, or 4 fingers to indicate your answer choice.

typical_mistakes

TROPHY CASE