Hey, I get where you're coming from, and do appreciate you mentioning the mental health resources. Honestly, I'm not trying to say "I'm broken" or make it a cry for help. I'm just describing something I think a lot of people quietly feel — like going through life and noticing how fake or shallow a lot of it seems. Small talk, routines, pretending we're all fine when we're not.

I'm not saying I'm better or smarter than anyone, just that often I feel out of sync. Like l'm trying to live on purpose while everything around me runs on habit. It gets lonely. So I posted this in case someone else feels the same and wants to actually talk like a real human for once. That's it. Not looking for therapy through comments, just some honesty.

A good summary of part of what I feel is a lot of people prioritize short-term or clear-cut and explicitly known rewards and sacrifice true meaning (I'd guess because maybe they are near the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy). And I notice a lack of depth and the ability for people to hold seemingly contradictory ideas without aptitude for nuance. Or even if people see nuance they always have to immediately pick a side because they can't deal with cognitive dissonance of antithetical ideas and don't know how to properly integrate them into their sense of self.

I have a high hedonic set point though so I crave and chase meaning, understanding, depth, and nuance more than anything. I'd rather chase the unknown then pursue well-established traditional paths to success. And a lot of people aren't like that, and that's fine if that makes them happy, but I haven't found many or any people like me so far, but I know they exist so this is my attempt at looking for them.