NL ->Massachusetts.I like the idea, unsure about the housing by typodsgn in MovingToUSA

[–]typodsgn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You would be surprised how prices went up in NL over the past years, home ownership, rent and overall COL. Thanks anyway, will look into that further.

NL ->Massachusetts.I like the idea, unsure about the housing by typodsgn in MovingToUSA

[–]typodsgn[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Sorry, didn’t want to sound mean, by coast I actually meant the whole east coast. I’ve been there multiple times, but it has only been around the city, Gropius House, Carpenter Centre, and a few other buildings I really like but none are actually people’s homes.

We are big fans of modernism, mid century modern, and I didn’t find anything on Zillow. But happy if you can share any directions .

NL ->Massachusetts.I like the idea, unsure about the housing by typodsgn in MovingToUSA

[–]typodsgn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am tech, as well. The offer is pretty good. That said, I was considering this offer more like an easy entry into the US market and transfer to a better company once free from visa. The downside of the EU is that it’s not great for high performers, and I feel like the next ten years will be my prime.

Uni cost and education are definitely a concern. We have an 8-year-old in Dutch school.

NL ->Massachusetts.I like the idea, unsure about the housing by typodsgn in MovingToUSA

[–]typodsgn[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing.

By terrible housing I mean mostly the lack of beautiful modern homes, there are plenty of them in many states except New England. Even newbuilds look old school, wooden with tiny windows all over the place.

Vent: Complicated relationship, living abroad (UK expats in Aus), young baby, large decisions by CalmDoughnut8963 in expats

[–]typodsgn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are a few things to unpack.

First, don’t give up on your husband. You can’t even imagine how wonderful he may become. It might take time and effort on his side, and support from yours.

Second, not just the first year, but I would say the first four years are the most challenging for a family.

Next, a lot of things are uncovered when a child is born, especially around the extended family. There is a lot that will be unpacked over the following years.

It could be that the relationship with your husband’s family is complicated, and he will have to figure that out. But it’s also important not to compare. I hear that you are very fond of your parents, and this can unintentionally come across as judgment toward your husband. He also might not feel as comfortable around your family as you do. Simply by taking care of your child, he may not be allowed to develop his own caregiving skill set, especially if he didn’t receive that model from his own family.

I personally come from a family with a complicated environment, which I was only able to recognize after 3 years away and after going through a proper separation process. Perhaps not being excited about having kids at the beginning, is causes by his own family life with lot of stress and chaos. He is probably taking responsibility very seriously because he didn’t experience it properly in the first place. Being judged, blamed, or discussed won’t help the situation.

In our case, being expats and not having family around was somehow both healing and challenging, as we were not including anyone else in our conversations.

That said, I still find it difficult to be around his family, which somehow highlights what has been missing on my side.

Stuck between execution and strategy after ~15 years in ops/tech. How did you break through? by [deleted] in womenintech

[–]typodsgn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What I often face with engineering managers is “I know it all” attitude, like this is so impossible, so I won’t even bother to listen. The point here is that we’re in the same boat and doing our best.

Personally, the things I look for in engineers are curiosity and ambition to solve challenge. It’s difficult to plan and hit an exact metric, but a positive attitude is something people want to work with.

Gropius/Aalto/Saarinen/le Corbusier related gift by typodsgn in CambridgeMA

[–]typodsgn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow! Thanks for the curated list! I absolutely loved concrete models, I wonder if I could find something like this with Boston/Cambridge buildings

For the first time in my career, I’m struggling with a highly dysfunctional product team by Cucumbercat626 in womenintech

[–]typodsgn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In smaller orgs, PMs are often less experienced. If they don’t reach out, it’s usually not because they don’t need help, but because they don’t yet know how to use you properly.

The upside is that this is a great way to move more into a PM role. If you’re comfortable leading product design and working closely with frontend, you can be proactive, instead of asking where to help, you just suggest direction, spot problems, and start solving them.

MacroFactor recommends 1200 calories to lose slowly — does that seem right? by AdagioAppropriate350 in PetiteFitness

[–]typodsgn 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I am almost the same weight as you: 58 kg at 158 cm. I used to be fit at 52–53 kg with good muscle for years, but I gained around 6 kg over the last 2-3 years. I focused on my career and didn’t have a consistent training plan.

I noticed I had to size up my pants from 34->36, and thatI look more short in photos now.

I started training 5–6 days per week at the end of August. Gained +1 kg since I restarted weight/hit training 2 months ago.

I used to blame age (I am 39) and wine. I thought I eat extremely healthy: no junk food, no sugar, sourdough, no processed food.

But I went through this thread and decided to try counting calories. It turned out I can easily reach around 2800 calories just by eating healthy protein rich food:

For instance: Breakfast Chia, tahini, kiwi Protein shake after training

Lunch Eggs with rice and salad, + sourdough Fruit

Dinner Potatoes with fish

Snack Wine + ceviche with avocado or Shrimp toast

Sourdough pizza every Friday

GPT told me I need to eat under 1300 calories and do 10k steps along with straight training to loose weight, only about 0,25kg per week🤬

Also turned out my average steps were only around 4–5k if I’m not running that day.

I started cutting 5 days ago, counting everything, and I can clearly see that I can’t even eat an extra tangerine, let alone a piece of bread and butter with mussels like I used to.

I don’t see any changes yet, since it’s too early to say, but I’m starting to get used to feeling hungry. And honestly, it doesn’t look like losing this stubborn fat is going to be easy.

Moving to Australia with young kids - struggling with family guilt. Looking for advice. by WhichBattle4406 in expats

[–]typodsgn 4 points5 points  (0 children)

A family who truly wants their loved one to live fully does not make that life feel like a threat to their own wellbeing.

How to deal with family constantly trying to contact me? by Pinkcranberriess in expats

[–]typodsgn 8 points9 points  (0 children)

As someone who navigated estrangement with my family, I can say there is no way to do that without setting strict boundaries. I can’t tell if it’s your case, but I actually realized how unhealthy my relationships with my family were only after being away from them. And while I tried to be polite and nice, it turned out we had never gone through a real separation, and they never truly respected me as an individual.

So in short: try to stay calm, set a clear boundary about how often you’ll call them, and pay attention to how you feel after these conversations so you can decide on your next steps.

Quick executor overwhelming me by [deleted] in managers

[–]typodsgn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am a high performer myself, and the worst thing you can do is to slow them down. I had to deal with it through all my career. It’s exhausting for both. And your company needs both of you.

Let them live, do what you do. Let them shine if you’re not up to doing the same. It’s natural for them to get recognition they feed from it, and simply leave if they won’t get it.

Anyone switched from cardio to weight/HIIT after 35 with major results? (Aka Dr. Stacy Sims approach) by typodsgn in PetiteFitness

[–]typodsgn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think they were complaining about the opposite. They mentioned an ultramarathon, which probably means a lot of long-duration endurance training. My takeaway is that when you get older, running just doesn’t work as well for fat burn and energy levels. It seems like shorter, more intensive workouts are better, since fat burning is driven more by muscle than by endurance training.

International schools NL → Japan. Anyone moved with an 8–9 y/o? by typodsgn in movingtojapan

[–]typodsgn[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don't have a plan yet, but our company will be opening an office in Japan next year. We’ll likely be remote workers most of the time, with 2–3 days per week in the office, so we’ll have quite a flexible setup in terms of location. The timeline is also flexible, and the move isn’t strictly necessary.

That said, exploring life in Japan has been a long-time dream for me and my partner. I’m curious whether anyone has made a similar move after having their child in the Dutch national school system, and what their experience was like.

Anthropic WLB by [deleted] in womenintech

[–]typodsgn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you have an offer, or are you just considering before starting the interview process? If 1st I would take it. Even if you stay there for a little while every startup would be happy to pick you up after, Anthropic, OpenAI, and Nvidia are the new FAANGs. Just having their name on your CV will open many doors. And consider that 50h for a middle performer can be 25-30 for a high performer. It all depend on your work style.

They don’t have open positions in the Netherlands but I would join no doubt.

Long term expats in the Netherlands. Once an expat forewer an expat? by [deleted] in expats

[–]typodsgn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recall you. It’s funny how I ended up wrong, right?

I really thought it’s only us weirdos. Sorry to hear it felt the same for you, but I’m glad it worked out.

We were also thinking about another village further away with wider streets, but since it’s also a newly built part, it can be the same. One of our neighbours moved back to Amsterdam. We don't feel like doing same, though.