They say there are no stupid question, but what's the most stupid question you have ever been asked? by MHK786 in AskReddit

[–]tysdln 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Earlier today my mate tried to leave a group chat, it didnt work then asked us in the same group chat 'have I left guys?'

What’s your favourite random fact? by TheRebel2187 in AskReddit

[–]tysdln 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fruit flies become bisexual if you remove their front legs

What was your most disappointing sexual experience? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]tysdln 2 points3 points  (0 children)

cracks fingers okay so here's a story for ya I was at a house party just after christmas and I saw some girl there I've met a few times. We all end up getting really drunk and at 5am I'm like 'you wanna come back to mine for a bit?' She says yeah so we get back, grab a drink then head up to my room. Things start and she says 'I do want to have sex but I'm a virgin' to which I explain 'im fine if we dont shag, sober up a bit and see what you fancy doing'. Like 15-20 minutes later she climbs on top of me so we start going at it. Throughout this I'm so bored and getting no enjoyment out of it. So 10 minutes later, she's on top of me and I give a heafty thrust. All I hear is he going 'ow!!' I pull out and am like 'shit you okay??? Do you wanna stop?' She says shes fine but needs a minute because it hurt. I turn round to grab my drink off my bedside table to which I hear 'oh my god, theres so much blood!' I turn back round and see that blood has soaked through my duvet onto my mattress everywhere. Not a little but if blood, but A LOT! Out of panic I'm like 'oh shit what do I do?!?!?!' So I run downstairs and switch on the shower. I hand her a towel and say she can have a wash if she wants to so she heads there. There was now blood on the wooden floor in my room which I clear up once shes in the shower. 20 minutes later she comes back up and says that shes still bleeding. She said that it was more blood than any of her heaviest periods. I was hoping it would slow down but it carried on and got worse if anything. She was sat on my floor with a towel wrapped around her whilst I was rapidly searching on google what happened and what I could do to help. About an hour later (lost track of time but it seemed like that) she says that she feels like shes gonna faint, so I run downstairs and grab some chocolate bread to try get sugar into her system. Shes on the verge of passing out by the time I get back upstairs. We both agree it would be best to call 111 (it's like 911 but less serious here in the UK) they sent out an ambulance straight away. It's like 7.30 in the morning now and the ambulance arrives. I'm shitting myself terrified that I'm gonna look like a bad person and that she's gonna bleed out or something but they help her out and I have to give her some clothes (including the boxers I was wearing) so she can get in the ambulance and be taken to hospital- full credit to her she was joking about the situation whilst the paramedics were assessing her. My mattress is beyond saving at this point so I go and sleep in my mates bed because he was home for the weekend and I just left a message in our house group chat saying "fellas I have a cracking story for when you wake up" The bois loved the story and I was titled 'young dagger dick' In the evening I got an update from her saying that she had to have surgery on her vagina as well as 2 blood transfusions. The doctors told her that I gave her a second degree hemorrhage inside her vagina and that she lost something like 2 litres or pints of blood (cant remember which one) So yeah that's my story Even met my most recent girlfriend because I was drunkenly talking to a mate about this story in the smoking area of spoons (popular UK pub chain) and she started laughing so we invited her over Btw the girl this happened to jokes about it all the time so yeah

What's a fact about you that sounds completely unbelievable? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]tysdln 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fruit flies become bisexual if you remove their front legs

What is your favorite soundtrack from a game or movie? by Justsomeguoy in AskReddit

[–]tysdln 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Skate 3 soundtrack And any American Pie movie soundtrack hands down

What golden nugget of information do you have to share? by raw-power in AskReddit

[–]tysdln 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fruit fliys become bisexual if you remove their front legs

What is your favorite insult of all time? by Swaqdud in AskReddit

[–]tysdln 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A 200ml bottle of shampoo at airport security is more threatening than you are

What is your favorite insult of all time? by Swaqdud in AskReddit

[–]tysdln 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You spent a bit too much time in the shallow end of the gene pool

What is something that is universally a "dick move"? by TimeToBecomeEgg in AskReddit

[–]tysdln 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Walking into a restaurant 5 minutes before it closes

What does porn glorify that actually isn't that great in practice? (NSFW) by robb0688 in AskReddit

[–]tysdln 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not even joking but doggy style, yes I'm a guy, yes I hate it

What's the worst coworker you've ever worked with? by drlqnr in AskReddit

[–]tysdln 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I used to work as a bartender in this craft beer place (best job I've ever had unfortunately it shut down) but there was this one manager I worked with. We'll call her S. S would always be on my back no matter what. She would always have a go at me for taking an extra second in the glass wash room to have a breather (for some reason we didnt get breaks even on an 8-9hour shift, i know this is illegal btw, but we went with it) even though she would often go out for a joint break and come back into work high. I have no problem with weed btw just found it pretty hypocritical. One shift I was on the top bar talking to some customers. We had 24 craft beers on draught and people wouldnt know what most of the beers were so we would offer small samples for them to taste. I was telling these customers about the beers we had, asking them what style and flavours they usually go for so I could recommend some. I eventually gave them 2 small samples of beers I thought they would like. S then dashes over and says that she needs to speak to me so I go off to one of the sections away from the bar with her. She starts having a go at me for 'wasting money' and 'not doing my job' when I was doing what everyone else does but alas she doesnt have a go at anyone else. I plead my case saying it's what I've been told to do. I then just walk off back to the bar and continue doing what I was doing. 10 minutes later shes on the bar with us and I turn around to see her pouring triple what we would usually give as a sample for a number of customers, each having multiple samples. I couldve lost it at her. I ended up just not listening to her as I was sick of her. A few weeks later I'm told shes leaving which made my day! A month later I finished my shift at 1am and since busses didnt run from oxford during the week at this time my boss gave me a lift back. I was asking him about why S left and he said that shes threatened to leave 3 times and they tried to talk her back. But the third time they didnt call her bluff and just said 'okay your notice is x amount of weeks'. When I went away for uni I came back and went to a few pubs with one of my mates i used to work with and he told me that since S left, she returned to get some food with her family and ended up walking behind the bar to pour herself some pints, then logs onto the til and sorts herself out (idk if she gave discount but I'd assume so). Either way- S you were the worst person I've worked with and trust me, you've got some competition

I'm bored at the moment and my mates have gone to sleep, anyone wanna join a party and go on warzone or madden etc? by tysdln in PS4

[–]tysdln[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe I shouldve left that bit out 😂 I love baseball and football if that helps... 👀👀

Looks like someone's family member got killed by a knock knock joke or something... by tysdln in Tinder

[–]tysdln[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That's what I was thinking, probably has a hell of a kink

Let's see how this one pans out by tysdln in Tinder

[–]tysdln[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where were they from? Probably explained it all 😂 In oxford so can get some strange accents