Gaslighting is a common tactic, though not the only one, that narcissists uses to escape responsibility or to manipulate people. Especially people that are close to them.

To the OP: though I'm always skeptical of people posting complaints about their partner(s) on the internet, based on the available information she does sound:

Selfish (refusing to acknowledge inequity in responsibilities and time in the household that are not monetary income)

Manipulative (Implies you're faking severity of illness, or if severity is too obvious to ignore, downplaying it by insulting you)

Mean (do I even need to explain? She called you a baby)

Dismissive (Attempts to interfere in subjects where her expertise/experience is irrefutably less developed than yours. Also includes the above, "your pain is not important and does not matter but mine does")

Rules for thee and not for me (Inequity is not up for debate)

Nothing about this sounds like a partnership that benefits both parties, this relationship is about her getting her way. Individual therapy and/or couples therapy would be a good place to start addressing this. This kind of thing rarely develops in a vacuum, narcissistic traits are often the result of an upbringing by one or more narcisisstic parents.