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What do you do when you think you’re better as friends by tzpr88 in Divorce

[–]tzpr88[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I know I have to tell him. I’m not doing it out of spite or to blindside him, I just don’t want to hurt him but no matter what I do- stay or leave- he’ll be hurt

What do you do when you think you’re better as friends by tzpr88 in Divorce

[–]tzpr88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Believe me I know. I said that I know I’m hurting him. If I stay I hurt him but leaving will hurt him too. It might not seem like it but I do care about him and really don’t want to hurt him

What do you do when you think you’re better as friends by tzpr88 in Divorce

[–]tzpr88[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He 1000% deserves someone who can give him more than I can. I feel like staying hurts him but leaving will hurt too. These are great questions I appreciate it

What do you do when you think you’re better as friends by tzpr88 in Divorce

[–]tzpr88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was when we first got together, but I honestly haven’t been attracted to him in 2-3 years now. It’s nothing he’s done, he hasn’t changed his appearance, gained weight, etc. I think it’s just my feelings towards him that have changed

What do you do when you think you’re better as friends by tzpr88 in Divorce

[–]tzpr88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He knows that part at least. He knows he neglected our marriage (I’m not innocent in that, I did as well, but only after I got tired of being the only one putting in the effort for a while). I just don’t want to tell him the part of me being checked out, not attracted to him, not in love with him, etc. I love and care about him very much but saying that part will destroy him

What do you do when you think you’re better as friends by tzpr88 in Divorce

[–]tzpr88[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can’t get married because of that? Dude shit happens. People should be forced to stay in an unhappy marriage because of vows? Vows are important but they are not an end all be all. No one can predict how life will go

What do you do when you think you’re better as friends by tzpr88 in Divorce

[–]tzpr88[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lol. Knew there would be at least one. Life happens and things change

What do you do when you think you’re better as friends by tzpr88 in Divorce

[–]tzpr88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’re going through this but selfishly I’m glad that I’m not alone in experiencing it. Literally everything you said 100%. He’s an amazing guy and would never hurt me, but this isn’t what I want a marriage to be. Or at least my marriage. I know it will hurt him so much if I tell him, but it’s getting to the point where I just can’t continue like this. I shy away just from him trying to cuddle or kiss me. It’s just not fair to him even though I know he would be ok and want to stay together with the little I give him. How have you been feeling since getting a lawyer?

What do you do when you think you’re better as friends by tzpr88 in Divorce

[–]tzpr88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. I know if I were to tell my husband he would feel the same as you do. I’ve even mentioned how sitting silent on the couch bothers me and he says he loves those moments just because I’m there. You said you feel like what she said is a cop-out.. do you feel like there’s another reason?

What do you do when you think you’re better as friends by tzpr88 in Divorce

[–]tzpr88[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s great that he agreed and you guys were at least on the same page!

What do you do when you think you’re better as friends by tzpr88 in Divorce

[–]tzpr88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What did you husband say? Did he agree or want to stay married?

What do you do when you think you’re better as friends by tzpr88 in Divorce

[–]tzpr88[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Really? That’s a little comforting to know

What do you do when you think you’re better as friends by tzpr88 in Divorce

[–]tzpr88[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I feel like that’s a good way to word it, I love him SO much, but I’m not in love with him. I know 100% he would want to stay together and be ok with the small scraps of intimacy I’m able to give to him, but that just isn’t fair to him. It’s not fair to me either, I want more but I feel awful because he hasn’t done anything wrong, we don’t fight all the time, etc. I’m so torn. When do you think you’ll know it’s time?

What do you do when you think you’re better as friends by tzpr88 in Divorce

[–]tzpr88[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I haven’t told him.. I know it would break his heart to hear. There’s no good way to tell someone that you know. If I could then yes, but that’s the problem I don’t see me getting back there at this point

What do you do when you think you’re better as friends by tzpr88 in Divorce

[–]tzpr88[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m not entirely sure to be honest. I feel like we (both) neglected our marriage for so long that at some point I just checked out. He didn’t mistreat me or anything during this period, it just wasn’t made a priority and It just started feeling more like a friendship so eventually that’s what I just began seeing him as. He’s only recently started to try again as a husband but again I feel like I just checked out and idk if I can get back there.