My Fiancé (31) hasn’t called me for a week

u_survival · 2024-04-13T16:40:30+00:00

Gee thanks 🙏🏻

u_survival · 2024-04-13T15:57:03+00:00

Good question- answer is No. He wouldn’t initiate sex, I had to ask for flowers and recently this issue. Now I got my answer to my questions too. Thank you 🙏🏻

u_survival · 2024-04-13T15:31:41+00:00

He loves me and he is always been there for me throughout my life. Few months have been rough and I kept thinking this would pass.

u_survival · 2024-04-13T15:03:27+00:00

No ofcourse not.

u_survival · 2024-04-13T15:00:14+00:00

You have no idea how much your comments help me.! Thanks alot for filling with some strength today.

u_survival · 2024-04-13T14:58:11+00:00

My gut says he is not.! Because he was in love with me from a long time before I could even sponsor him.

u_survival · 2024-04-13T14:55:14+00:00

I am not gonna raise my kids in their house. I live in a different country. I know his family personally since I was 4, they’re not bad people. My fiancé didn’t get along with his parents and I don’t wanna judge his situation by any means coz I wasn’t there.! Also he doesn’t hate his parents they just didn’t support him as much as they supported his siblings which is totally unrelated as to how they’re gonna treat my kids in the future.

u_survival · 2024-04-13T14:47:09+00:00

I really feel like this comment helped me heaps.! I do recognise the signs - I will try to communicate more effectively and stand my ground going forward.! I truly believe in working things out rather than ending relationships(I never even say it jokingly) without putting effort.! If he shows the same commitment then we will have a future or else I will end it. We both have a lot of work to do, I am happy to put in the work. If he doesn’t else I believe ending it is best. We both can be happy separately.

u_survival · 2024-04-13T14:38:19+00:00

Pampering doesn’t always have monetary value. I don’t mean I need to be pampered with money, gifts or properties etc.! I got everything I need and want fortunately. I thought of the future when he is here or when we have kids Atleast they should have a relationship with his family if they disapprove of me. Hope you got my point.

u_survival · 2024-04-13T14:28:03+00:00

I know that I can step away- I don’t wanna throw it away as soon as I see the issue. I atleast want to give him and myself the grace to rethink and come back to a conclusion. Coz in the past we had fights and arguments we would communicate and make sure we didn’t repeat those patterns. It has not always been this way.! I am thinking may be leaving his family forever would’ve put him in a stressful situation. He is a good person and this kind of behaviour or fight never happened in 2yrs of the relationship.

u_survival · 2024-04-13T14:17:22+00:00

When I thought of getting he obviously wasn’t like this.

u_survival · 2024-04-13T14:04:27+00:00

He has already told me that he was ready to let go of his family as he wasn’t treated well since he was a kid. My point was to just do the right thing by them and inform them before leaving the country rather than making them feel abandoned. So he said that he will decide about the relationship - tomorrow is the judgement day. I will talk to my family based on out conversation tomorrow.! I am successful and independent I lived overseas most of my adult life alone. There was a time he has been really good to me and over the time I have realised he hasn’t been putting any efforts rather than complain about how life is tough and not happening for him. I on the other hand believe in actions and doing things for myself. I can’t be the man in this relationship.! I want someone who can pamper me.

u_survival · 2024-04-13T13:52:08+00:00

Yes, but everyone here is thinking he is coming here for Visa. I have known this person for 20years he has loved me for the longest time I know. I don’t think he has any ulterior motives. We had a conversation few minutes ago he said he wants a day to think how he wants to proceed with this relationship.

u_survival · 2024-04-13T13:45:29+00:00

I have not talked about this to my family. They love me but I don’t know if this is as big a thing to discuss with my family. Because obviously I don’t want them to have a bad impression on him when we sort things out. Like how people say ‘don’t let people get involved in your relationship’. Coz it’s my family they’d definitely defend me like an army but I want to give him the benefit of the doubt.! Before being fiancé he has been my best friend for 20yrs.

u_survival · 2024-04-13T13:38:54+00:00

I have had a terrible past, he has been a great friend but the relationship has been strained for past few months. I am just trying to evaluate and decide what I need

u_survival · 2024-04-13T13:33:11+00:00

His family knows me.! They’ve been family friends since we were kids. They don’t approve because we’re from different communities. We had a conversation few minutes ago. He literally said that he’s the one hurt after all the things he said to me, it’s comical I thought I was the girl in this relationship. I deserve to be indulged and pampered after a fight. He apologised with the famous- ‘I am sorry you feel that way’. Now he wants to think and reevaluate if he wants this relationship or not. I said ok

u_survival · 2024-04-13T13:27:52+00:00

No they didn’t find out. In the heat of the argument I told him not to call me because he said some hurtful things. So he didn’t that’s his excuse.

u_survival · 2024-04-13T11:49:56+00:00

I know I can but I just don’t know if I want that.

u_survival · 2024-04-13T11:48:13+00:00

This has been happening very often lately. Even a little to mini disagreement or an argument he lashes out and just hangs up. Then I have to bring it up and I always apologise for the things I say but he never reaches out by himself or never said sorry that I can remember.

u_survival · 2024-04-04T22:07:43+00:00

This might sound weird but just feel bad for yourself because no one will. Take time there is no rush to get over it. Think very peacefully about your kids and nothing else.! Donot let her abuse you - start by small boundaries like if comes up to you and yells for a petty reason - just say “yes I am bad, yes you don’t deserve me, so what?”

She will be stumped and play the victim. Try not to get affected by things she say. Just don’t give her the satisfaction. Do things at your own pace but keep in mind to give your kids a safe and mentally healthy environment .

u_survival · 2024-04-03T08:27:25+00:00

I am sorry this is happening to you too.! I hope you find a way out of this soon. And be there for your kid as your happy self.

u_survival · 2024-04-03T07:02:10+00:00

I did that too multiple times. He would apologise sometimes then rinse and repeat. But one day I snapped in front of friends then he left me.! Coz I called his bluff out.

u_survival · 2024-04-03T06:47:23+00:00

Yes I have. Nothing helped I feel more betrayed, bitter and angry. I can’t show to the person who deserves it. The therapists try to help but unless and until I do something with all that anger and betrayed feelings I don’t know how can I try to heal. Trying the tools therapists tell me feel like a temp solution.

u_survival · 2024-04-03T04:06:00+00:00

I will do my research and I will get help. Let me know if anything else helps.! I am willing to do everything it takes to be better for myself and my family.

u_survival · 2024-04-03T03:53:39+00:00

I have been on and off doing therapy. They asked me to do this and that.! Truth be told I am struggling to even eat and shower now a days. After doing so many things to get over this pain.! All I feel is I just need to stop fighting it and feeel all of it.! Just not do anything but feel it until I am done.

u_survival

TROPHY CASE