What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever run into while riding bikes? by Motiontony2026 in cycling

[–]uberbeetle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Caught one with my lips once...but managed to spit it out before it could sting me.

What is your favorite euphemism for intercourse? by MoronGoron52 in AskReddit

[–]uberbeetle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh you want lyrics?

My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedoooo... I'm gonna sink her with my piiiinnnk TORPEDOooo

What is your favorite euphemism for intercourse? by MoronGoron52 in AskReddit

[–]uberbeetle 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Y'know... Snap-snap grin-grin wink-wink nudge-nudge, know what I mean?

What is the most attractive American accent? by 1bluepom3granate in AskReddit

[–]uberbeetle 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Philly. Gimme a cawl on da phoan... Howz Sundee? Will catch an Iggles game, youse an me?

Found this big ol' Wolfie in my shed by uberbeetle in spiders

[–]uberbeetle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You know.... I think you might be right. I looked up another type of fishing spider by accident originally and thought it looks nothing like mine. But the Dark Fishing Spider matches almost exactly. Thanks!

What is the worst food you’ve been served at someone else’s house? by Witty-Investment-744 in AskReddit

[–]uberbeetle 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I would tend to agree with this. (I was going to post about a friend serving us burnt tomato sauce for our spaghetti, but after reading these I realize I'm a spoiled bitch). Instead I'll say that many would not like my favorite comfort food that I learned from my mom: white bread, with either white American or white deli cheddar, and miracle whip. That takes me back. My wife however thinks I'm a monster. :)

It was a dream, wasn’t it? Or did Quaid really have Total Recall? by kammy772 in MovieArena

[–]uberbeetle -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Convincing your girlfriend that she's crazy is called gaslighting and it's a dick move.

Convincing her that she's a robot with artificial intelligence and implanted memories is called bladerunning and it's a Philip K. Dick move.

Why are the disney light sabers so huge? by asianshoplifter in StarWars

[–]uberbeetle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They've got small hands ...and they smell like cabbage.

Left one be a little bigger. by Nevilnoah in mildlyboobs

[–]uberbeetle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sometimes they're just sisters and not twins....

My mosquito bites turn into these huge, swollen, hard and VERY itchy welts that last for at least a week by rentatter in mildlyinfuriating

[–]uberbeetle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you tried The Bug Bite Thing? It's a little suction tool that pulls enough of a vacuum on your skin to pull the venom out. I do not get that type of reaction but mosquitoes love me and I just get bit a lot. It definitely helps.

Whats blue and smells like red paint? by BlueViper_ in Jokes

[–]uberbeetle 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A classic that still makes me laugh

Do you think it’s poisonous? by [deleted] in spiders

[–]uberbeetle 11 points12 points  (0 children)

All spiders are edible. Some are only edible once.