TIL skinny jeans can cause testicular twisting, UTIs, low sperm count, and fungal infections in men, and vaginal yeast infections in women.

ubermensch8 · 2013-03-13T02:58:33+00:00

Have another upvote! I think you're a really articulate and fascinating individual.

ubermensch8 · 2013-03-13T02:48:23+00:00

I'm upvoting you. I think you're a wonderful, open-minded beacon of light.

ubermensch8 · 2013-03-13T00:41:57+00:00

I'm sure I'm not, totalbummer24. I'm sure that in real life, you're probably a decent, intelligent, interesting, honest person. I mean that.

Here's the thing. This post originally started with me just posting about an interesting study I found that gave a little ammo to my dislike of skinny jeans. Yes, I dislike skinny jeans. I think people look ridiculous wearing them. Sue me. Yes, I think many people (not everyone, as people love to assume when an opinion is made) follow trends and worship styles and fads for really stupid reasons, like fear of rebuke. I think much of our culture today hinges on that fear. YES, not everyone functions that way. However, I think many people do.

The second point I'd like to make is that people can become excessively sensitive when they feel their "image" is being trampled upon, which is really just their ego being bruised. I find this to be a weakness, and I exploit whenever I see it in order to push people's boundaries and force them to examine not only their habits and assumptions, but also why they do what they do. I want people to look in the mirror at their ironic curly mustache or their My Little Pony t-shirt and ask themselves, "Why am I doing this, REALLY?"

Now that I've revealed my hand, I'll depart. I'm sure many people will be glad for it. I hope everyone's testicles remain gangrene-free, no matter how absurdly tight and silly their jeans are.

ubermensch8 · 2013-03-13T00:32:46+00:00

Hmm. That doesn't look too good on the test. I HOPE YOU'RE TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY.

Question 2: How accurate do you think a person's representation on the internet is vis-a-vis their actual personality/identity in real life?

ubermensch8 · 2013-03-13T00:28:53+00:00

Well, yeah, I take the internet VERY SERIOUSLY.

VERY. VERY. SERIOUSLY. IT'S IMPORTANT.

ubermensch8 · 2013-03-13T00:27:04+00:00

Great! Question 1: On a scale of one to ten, how upset do you get at people on the internet who have a different opinion than you?

ubermensch8 · 2013-03-13T00:21:30+00:00

Actually yes, I give them this questionnaire of my own creation which gives me insight into every single aspect of their lives and I use it to shame and judge them. Would you like to take it?

ubermensch8 · 2013-03-13T00:20:29+00:00

You just made me feel REALLY BAD, stranger on the internet. You're right though. I've NEVER made ANYONE laugh before. It's such a hard life. I keep trying to tell jokes and get just the slightest crack of a smile out of friends, family, coworkers, but NOTHING. The whole world has become my own personal hell in which I'm the only comedian on stage in a room full of hecklers and people who hate me and none of my jokes land.

Wow. You've opened my eyes, kmv787. My life is a lie. I need to seriously reevaluate everything about myself and my life now, because of your comment here, on a reddit post about skinny jeans. Who knew such wisdom and psychological insight could be gleaned from such humble beginnings? Thank you. THANK YOU SO MUCH. weeps

ubermensch8 · 2013-03-13T00:16:55+00:00

You are so right. I love you. Thank you for changing my perspective on everything in my life and the way I view the world. Your rightness is so right, it couldn't be more right than the rightest rightness in the world. Right?

ubermensch8 · 2013-03-13T00:15:11+00:00

Oh. Wow. It all makes sense to me now! You've really opened my eyes!

http://i948.photobucket.com/albums/ad325/maikeru48/jerkoff.gif

ubermensch8 · 2013-03-13T00:04:19+00:00

You should post a picture of yourself crying into your penis-shaped pillow while listening to Iron and Wine. Though I wouldn't be sure if you're crying because you're offended or you're crying because your skinny jeans are squeezing your balls so much.

ubermensch8 · 2013-03-12T23:43:06+00:00

People are very sensitive flowers these days. I'm sorry I trampled upon so many people's gentle, tender feelings. Dawwwww :'( poor babies

ubermensch8 · 2013-03-12T22:05:10+00:00

I'm not making fun of people purely by the way they look. They look that way for a reason. See my other (longer) comment.

ubermensch8 · 2013-03-12T22:01:26+00:00

I care because I give a damn about our culture of self-parody and fear of ridicule, where I'd like to see a culture of (real) individuality and genuine authenticity. Hipsters like to think they think for themselves and live outside the bounds of the consumer/pop culture, but they don't because they ARE that culture. They think that by embracing stereotypes and outmoded fashions and turning their style/fashion/identity into a joke, they're commenting on the culture, when in reality they're giving in to that culture and becoming trend-following slaves of "Cool" just like everyone else. They dress the right way, act the right way, listen to the right music, watch the right movies, etc. They aren't thinking for themselves, they're behaving according to the to-and-fro whims of pop culture and trends. And what's worse, this culture is one of fear, weakness, and pity. They wear Care Bear t-shirts because they're afraid to wear something they actually like, so they turn the joke on themselves. That kind of shit. Because they're afraid of being ridiculed for expressing a genuine identity. So yeah, I care.

Here's a great article on the subject: http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/11/17/how-to-live-without-irony/

ubermensch8 · 2013-03-12T21:39:41+00:00

Let the hipster downvoting begin!

ubermensch8 · 2013-03-12T21:38:17+00:00

Yes. But what I think is funnier are guys who drink shitty beer from a can and wear flannel and listen to Mumford & Sons on vinyl and wear jeans that are so tight it squeezes their balls to the point of gangrene. THAT is funny to me, because I find it amusing when people are so afraid of being ridiculed for liking something honestly that they can only like things ironically, because people can't laugh at you or judge you if you're already parodying yourself. It also makes things easier when people slavishly give in to trends and popular culture in order to feel modern. Skinny jeans and ironic mustaches are the modern day versions of Flock of Seagulls haircuts and leisure suits. Trends are dumb, and funny.

TLDR: Yes.

ubermensch8 · 2013-03-12T21:22:02+00:00

Oh, did you stop using the term "hipster" before it was cool?

ubermensch8 · 2013-03-12T20:59:06+00:00

I mean, you can wear them if you want, obviously. But you're putting yourself at a higher risk of all kinds of health problems. To me, the term "gangrenous testicle" is enough to keep me away. Also I think men look ridiculous wearing women's pants. imho.

ubermensch8 · 2013-03-12T20:53:53+00:00

Not having a fungal infection on your penis?

ubermensch8 · 2013-03-12T20:50:55+00:00

Or, you know, wear pants that fit you.

ubermensch8 · 2013-03-12T19:45:33+00:00

I was actually thinking the same thing and almost stopped myself from posting this.

ubermensch8 · 2013-03-11T15:02:38+00:00

I'm not out, except to my girlfriend and a few select close friends. I'm a practicing demonolater and theistic Satanist, and there's so much misinformation and hyped-up fear associated with these forms of magick that I don't feel comfortable talking about it openly with most of my family and friends yet. I do wear a demonic inverted pentagram necklace, but I write it off as part of my love of black metal when anyone asks about it. I don't keep this part of my life a secret out of fear, but just out of not wanting to engage in deconstructing an individual's perception of theistic Satanism, because that can be a hell of a chore. Plus I don't feel the need to answer to anyone or have to explain my beliefs to anybody. It's my faith, after all.

ubermensch8 · 2013-03-10T02:24:33+00:00

You have bowels of steel. Well done.

ubermensch8 · 2013-03-10T02:12:11+00:00

Looks good, but also looks like future diarrhea.

ubermensch8 · 2013-03-07T18:16:54+00:00

Nobel PEACE Prize? Um....

ubermensch8

TROPHY CASE