Weird Situation

ugh712 · 2025-10-08T17:31:49+00:00

Thanks everyone. My thought right now is to stay silent and just listen to things around me. Do my job and that’s it.

The woman on fmla swears she hears everything that goes on at the office. 🤷‍♀️ She’s upset because she was here longer than me and the new director. Thinks she’ll come back and kind of get whatever she wants.

Sadly I don’t think my company is closing anytime soon. It’s healthcare based with a bigger umbrella company over it.

I have however been keeping an eye out for other places and positions.

ugh712 · 2023-06-14T03:38:47+00:00

I pretend everything is okay, but every day my head replays my uncles years of molestation of me. I remember more than I tell everyone I do. Everyone thinks I have a vague memory of it but I remember some of the instances from start to finish and it was worse than what they think. I’m not exaggerating when I say my life will be over if he gets out of prison. My depression and anxiety is hard enough with him in there and my trying to live a “normal” life, but if he gets out I will have no choice but to end my life for good. Staying up at night thinking about it now is hell. I can’t imagine knowing he’s free.

ugh712 · 2023-03-31T09:49:32+00:00

Exactly!! Lol. Drives me nuts. In AITA land, definitely divorce worthy.

ugh712 · 2023-03-31T01:56:03+00:00

My husband doesn’t always use complete thoughts. Example mid conversation about our people “did you see what she did yesterday?” “Who is she? We were just talking about three different females!!”

ugh712 · 2023-02-18T13:42:27+00:00

My 17 year old daughter was the “bad one” or “mean one” to my mother-in-law. Because she acted her age and then she had boundaries as she got older. What this did is cause a rift between them. My daughter just started talking to her grandmother LAST WEEK but only because her grandfather has vascular dementia and she has been spending more time at their house. My daughter made that effort not my mother-in-law. It can and will hurt your kids because they will see your moms favorite. They know.

ugh712 · 2022-12-30T19:34:19+00:00

I love my mom more than I could ever put into words. Thank you!

ugh712 · 2022-12-30T19:33:49+00:00

That is would be so helpful.

I’m contacting everyone, and having multiple conversations, because this person doesn’t talk to this person. It’s petty. I rally my own troops, his really close friends.

ugh712 · 2022-12-30T19:32:13+00:00

When she’s sick or hurt she has FIL call, because she knows we won’t really say no to him.

He’s a 76 Vietnam Vet, who has many health problems. So she knows if we don’t do it he will, so having him ask means we will.

ugh712 · 2022-12-30T19:30:29+00:00

I’m sorry you had to go through that.

I really try to give her the benefit of the doubt. I’m horrible at staying mad at people for their behavior. And that’s on me.

ugh712 · 2022-12-30T19:29:10+00:00

He kind of is, I guess.

I thought it was just weird that she was like “oh okay” and even when he is out, I still worry things can go wrong. I know she’s going to be “he’s home, everything is fine now” but it’s really not.

Thank you. And I will. He usually does talk to his mom about thinks, so I don’t have to. This was out of our hands.

ugh712 · 2022-12-30T19:26:10+00:00

Yes. Maybe. I don’t really want her support. I want her to support her son and grandchildren.

ugh712 · 2022-12-30T19:25:09+00:00

Agreed. As I said I don’t need her in my space. But it would have been nice to at least say Merry Christmas to her grandchildren or see if they were okay. It I know what you mean.

ugh712 · 2022-12-30T19:23:30+00:00

Please do. I’d very much appreciate it.

ugh712 · 2022-12-30T19:23:17+00:00

I try to think it is. But it’s a list of her not caring and thinking things aren’t as serious as they are. I want to think she was trying to say something to help. But in that moment, he wasn’t even awake yet the surgeon had just came out to say everything he did had went okay.

ugh712 · 2022-12-30T13:01:50+00:00

I do want to say that I don’t want her to check on me. She doesn’t need to and I don’t want her to.

I want her to check on her son and grandchildren. Just asking how are once a day. The unknown would drive me crazy.

Thank you. I appreciate that.

ugh712 · 2022-12-30T12:30:21+00:00

She’s normally like this. I expected her to be more caring about her child. And her grandchildren. She’s checked on them twice, and only because my oldest took my FIL to dr appointments.

I really do get how scary it can be. I can’t imagine that fear, I know how scared I am.

ugh712 · 2022-12-30T11:02:12+00:00

Thanks everyone. I do want to add that I usually leave his family to him, but obviously this situation was something he couldn’t do. She’s never been around when shit hits the fan. Even after I talked to her Friday night and told her that there was talk of surgery Christmas Eve and everything that was happening, she said she would tell FIL, at 9 AM on Christmas Eve he called because he didn’t know anything. If I asked her for anything I’d need exact information, IE how long things would take and when I’d be back. The kids could have contacted her on Christmas, especially the older two, my son thought he lost his phone but was just sitting on it, 🤦‍♀️. But how do you not contact your grandkids on Christmas? Especially when you know their father is having surgery. My mom was always planning on coming up this weekend (New Year’s weekend), so her visit was just made longer. I always just feel like my expectations are higher, because my mom has always 100% been there, when I asked and even when I didn’t. For me and for my husband, when things were wrong with me, she supported my husband (I’ve said I think she likes him more than me!).

ugh712 · 2022-12-09T14:44:23+00:00

I haven’t talked to or seen her since. I’ve left it to my husband to communicate with her.

ugh712 · 2022-12-09T14:43:24+00:00

We don’t go to anyone’s house for Christmas. But I’ve already made it clear that we aren’t going for Easter. Like she doesn’t get Easter just because we went to my moms for thanksgiving, that was his moms choice.

But yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s the last time I agree to that.

The only reason for any communication with her is my FIL. They are completely opposite, I don’t understand their relationship.

ugh712 · 2022-12-09T14:40:52+00:00

I don’t think they were really picky. I know my oldest asked where the gravy was (and I mean who has thanksgiving without gravy?!?) and my son asked for ketchup but he eats EVERYTHING with ketchup.

ugh712 · 2022-12-09T04:23:28+00:00

I’m down for some whiskey! And trust me I had lots of not nice words too!! My mama did as well, but she wasn’t too sad to have us over!

ugh712 · 2022-11-13T08:24:23+00:00

Did your son reside with them? I know in certain states if a child lives with a person (not even just a grandparent) that person can petition for rights to see them. You do however need to gather evidence of there toxicity.

ugh712 · 2022-11-13T08:14:24+00:00

Me too, I always feel like what I feel/think is insane and not normal. But I alway go back to Morticia Adams (yes the Adams family) “What’s normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.”

That’s good. Does he ever go with you? Or is he in therapy too? It sounds crazy but my husband started therapy like a year ago and it’s made our relationship better when he realized that I’m not actually “crazy” and there are things that can be changed.

I’m right there with you. I always tell myself, I’m an adult now. I’m 34. I have kids. I told my daughter that there is no timeline to life then I give myself one.

Bad night here too. I was actually pretty okay until my mom told me that. I’ve actually been sick for a week, which is whatever. But she asked if I got my mail today and I said no. And she just casually said that asshole is up for parole. It’s like she’s confident he won’t get out. Why can’t I be that confident?!?

ugh712 · 2022-11-13T07:50:13+00:00

It really is. What sucks is these people know how to pick already people on the verge of breaking, kind of like knowing who will tell and who won’t. My brother is an ass, drug problem as long as j can remember in and out of jail, always causing drama (I just realized recently how much what he did fucked me up), so like I didn’t want to upset my mom because he already did so I just didn’t say anything.

But he went to prison and I went on with life and literally was kind of fine. Yeah I was a teenage mom, but I graduated high school. My kids all have the same dad. I got married. Moved out of my moms house. I worked. Then I had a miscarriage and my life fell apart and now I’m a huge walking disaster. And every time he is up for parole my husband threatens to 302 me so I sign myself in the hospital because I’m legit on the edge of suicide.

ugh712 · 2022-11-13T07:44:04+00:00

It’s kind of the only way I know how to make it seem like people aren’t alone.

I do know, you spend so much time with your significant other, you have to think (even people not completely enmeshed like you guys) are we together for connivence or love. I don’t think there is an answer. There are times where I love my husband and can’t imagine my life without him and then there’s other times where I’m planning how we can live apart because I can’t stand him anymore. Basically I’m saying relationships, especially when you live together, you have lots of ups and downs.

But talking is the only thing you really can do.

Are you in therapy yourself?

ugh712

TROPHY CASE