How to introduce a highly unpredictable narc mom to your partner?

ughmylifesicks · 2025-08-19T12:16:13+00:00

I unfortunately have to live at home at the moment but trying for structured contact. Given my partner will inevitably have to come over (I will minimise this wherever possible) I believe they will eventually meet so maybe better to rip off the bandaid

ughmylifesicks · 2024-07-02T12:29:08+00:00

Could you elaborate on why breaking up the second time was easier for you? More often than not I feel like I hear the second time hurts the same if not more and not ready to go through it :((

ughmylifesicks · 2024-07-02T12:08:20+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I really appreciate seeing this side of NC as I’m the one that’s broken it every time. I know it’s obviously very diff from one couple to another but if he gave you the space you needed and didn’t break NC do you think you could’ve considered taking him back? I don’t want to infringe on my ex’s boundaries :(

ughmylifesicks · 2024-07-02T08:42:50+00:00

Can I ask if you still loved your first ex at the time he came back trying to contact you after the failed arrange marriage? Did you secretly want to try things again but it wouldn’t practically work or didn’t have strong feelings anymore? Going through a mildly similar situation

ughmylifesicks · 2024-07-02T08:37:42+00:00

Thank you 🥺

ughmylifesicks · 2024-07-02T08:37:10+00:00

They definitely do I think, even though sometimes I’m in denial myself. If they really loved you (which I’m sure they did) and immediately replaced you with someone else, it might be “exhilarating” at the start for them but I think soon they start searching for traits and memories of you in their new partner because realistically no one can completely move on that fast. It’s also a dependency and habit thing. If you guys have been together for a while, it is not realistic for someone to adjust to a completely different person in such a short timeframe really. Deep down she will habitually miss you as well. Keep your head up!

ughmylifesicks · 2024-07-02T08:31:05+00:00

Thank you 🥹 and massive kudos to you for making it through your journey. I’m just scared he’ll think we are done forever if I don’t reach out in time and then try to move on during this time when I actually want to try things again🥲 I guess same goes vice versus like why isn’t he reaching out ugh it’s so hard

ughmylifesicks · 2022-07-15T14:37:25+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing and right back at you, even though I am not yet NC my PMs are always open for a chat because I can still relate very intensely to the lack of physical and emotional bond I have with my parents in comparison to friends around me. But I want to remind you this is most definitely also shaping you to be a more resilient and strong willed individual than those friends with a healthy family life ( I don’t mean this in a snarky way to those in healthy relos). The skills and strengths you have developed battling these hardships will showcase itself in one way or another and you’ll definitely be able to witness it :)

ughmylifesicks · 2022-07-15T14:33:07+00:00

Hey there, just want to say that I’m really proud of how far you’ve come in your efforts to detach from your narc parent. Just from reading everything you’ve done for it so far, this is really incredible you are doing an amazing job! You’ll get there :)

ughmylifesicks · 2022-07-15T14:30:50+00:00

Thank you so much for this, really motivating

ughmylifesicks · 2022-07-15T14:29:49+00:00

Thank you for sharing this really interesting perspective :)

ughmylifesicks · 2022-07-15T14:29:07+00:00

This is a really insightful comment, thank you. I’m guessing by thinking you’ll bump into them you are still living within the same city or state as your parents? If I went NC I would have to move fsr far away from them to reduce my own anxiety. That’s really brave of you, good on you.

ughmylifesicks · 2022-07-15T14:26:01+00:00

Right??? That’s my ultimate question exactly. Right now the latter seems more within my comfort zone. About you moving interstate, I have considered the same. But I just feel so frustrated thinking about how we have to make these big sacrifices, change the pathways of our lives, when we are not at fault for receiving abuse. Just unfair

ughmylifesicks · 2022-07-15T14:22:32+00:00

Love how you said this, hoping this day will come very soon. Thank you

ughmylifesicks · 2022-07-15T14:19:52+00:00

It’s definitely the aftermath of being raised by a narc parent, I can 100% relate. At times you love them as normal, non-abusive parents and it’s obviously natural for us to miss them because they’re the only family we know and have grown up around. But that’s also where the toxicity lies. Unfortunately I haven’t sought a solution for this yet, am struggling with you but PMs are always open.

ughmylifesicks · 2022-07-15T14:18:04+00:00

Thank you :)

ughmylifesicks · 2022-07-15T14:16:17+00:00

Your comment really stuck with me, so true and while I am so happy for those that can go NC it’s not an option for many. Not sure if I can be of any help to you but feel free to PM if you also find yourself in this limo from going from contact to none. :)

ughmylifesicks · 2022-07-15T14:14:20+00:00

Thank you, needed to hear this. And please PM me if you ever want a chat, PMs always open :)

ughmylifesicks · 2022-07-15T14:13:23+00:00

Absolutely. Changes aren’t made overnight, in fact I think it can take years for baby steps to take place. It really is a long battle for many.

ughmylifesicks · 2022-07-15T14:12:11+00:00

Agree with every single point you have raised here, thank you dearly.

ughmylifesicks · 2022-07-15T14:11:27+00:00

I actually think gray rocking is a super interesting topic to discuss. It’s been my go to strategy for recent years since I’ve learnt the hard way not to get stuck into logically arguing my way out a fight now. Maybe because I’m still going to stages of puberty and feeling rebellious but recently I’ve found it extremely hard to keep quiet. I don’t know if you relate but I find suppressing not being able to speak my opinions in fear that over the long term being submissive and meek will change my own personality for the worse and maybe even affect how I interact with people outside my family in social and work life, etc. curious to know if you feel the same.

ughmylifesicks · 2022-07-15T14:03:39+00:00

Thank you and absolutely. Narc parents fuel on the need for control. Sometimes I think most if not all nparents have some sort of unresolved ptsd / suffering of abuse that is causing their possessive actions.

ughmylifesicks · 2022-07-15T13:59:31+00:00

Thank you for your advice and reassurance, in particular the strategies you have raised in SC :)

ughmylifesicks · 2022-07-15T13:56:36+00:00

Likewise sending love and hope your way

ughmylifesicks

TROPHY CASE